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Homesickness at University

SystemSystem Posts: 8,585 Community Managers
It's just a random brain fart this post, but does anyone else find it strange how, during the first month of term, the universities all have a legion of counsellors to help those who are homesick. After a month they all disappear, but for many it's only after a month that they feel it, when the organised parties stop and they don't have any mates.

Just been thinking as to how "homesickness" is such a big issue until its a relevant one. If after two months you're homesick or lonely, don't feel abnormal, you're not.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i reckon five weeks time'll be my homesickness, but around then i'll be planning on going home!!

    i think they're all apparent during the fresher month, but then they retreat and you have to work to find them... i cant really give a valid opinion as i dont know much about them having been only a fresher for a few days.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think at Edinburgh there's some kind of advice centre in one of the unions that's open all the time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A friend of mine called me today to tell me he's thinking of leaving uni because he's so homesick. He's only been there a week!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just taking the opportunity to link to our homesickness article

    Susie :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Susie
    Just taking the opportunity to link to our homesickness article

    Susie :)

    heh.

    fankies.
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    Originally posted by Tim the Enchanter
    I think at Edinburgh there's some kind of advice centre in one of the unions that's open all the time.

    it is, but as kermit said it is only really advertised during freshers week.

    homesickness hit me after there was an accident at home and i felt really far away. that was about week 6/7, after the novelty wore off a bit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At Durham each college had a welfare officer, and there was the counselling service.

    Most people don't start to get homesick until the novelty has worn off, and they haven't slotted into their new lifelong friend group by day 13. And then there's the misery-trigger of "housing groups", which of course must be decided by December 10 :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not a reflection on the people i have met at Uni, but i have rarely felt so isolated as i do now, and i've just finished freshers week :rolleyes:

    which was nothing special, R'n'B galore, 20-45 minute wait for drinks at the bar, a block of flats full of people that i just dont feel i connect with (whatever that means)

    The prospect of gaining a good degree is something that i really cant complain about, as well as the phenominal amount of support available, thanks to us living in this not-to-bad-if-ya-think-about-it 1st world Gaff of ours (rambling now) but i cant deny that i've felt indifferent-mildly depressed during this week:p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been at London Met for 2 days and can't seem to stop crying. I'm so homesick it hurts... :(

    Ilora x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ride it out mate, remember that everyone else is basically in the same boat. If it really gets too much then you can go home, or go visit a mate for a couple of days, just try not to bounce too much or you'll never settle in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think with things like homesickness, the counselling services want to get across that they're there, then once they think they've got their point across they stop advertising as much. They ARE there, but less well publicised. And most universities have a NightLine service as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I remember when i started uni in September 2002, i was occupied for the first 4/5 weeks, then it all kicked in, the parties died down, the term work built up, and i really started to miss home.

    I ended up lying on my bed in a dark room under my fleece huddled up, not all the time, but for some reason i found more comfort in that than anything else.

    It helps to be able to talk to someone; a parent, a mate from home, a mate who's gone to another uni, a new mate you've met at your uni or a uni councellor. Its a big step leaving home for the first time to go to uni, its totally understandable to feel homesick.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Ilora-Danon
    I've been at London Met for 2 days and can't seem to stop crying. I'm so homesick it hurts... :(

    Ilora x

    The key is to stop thinking about how long u have to stay there for - til Xmas or whatever. Set yourself a short term goal like, 3 weeks time I'm gonna go home for a weekend. And then as you approach it put it off if you're comfortable, say just for another week; or go home if you need to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I got mega homesick last night :( I hadnt gone out much this weekend, spent most of it working, and then theres a couple of problems with our flat that I was worried about, the usual money worries, and I missed my mum and my dad and my boyfriend. University people arent much help at 11pm on a sunday night though, which is when I feel it, not during office hours :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Homesick

    Hi i'm in my second year of university!
    I still get home sick here and its normally because of who i'm living with. Not to say anything bad about them but sometimes I feel isolated from them because I don't want to go out and get drunk all the time. That i'm content to just stay in and watch a film rather than going out and getting drunk. I feel like since being here I've changed because I don't want to be left out of things but I've soon come to realise that maybe the reason i'm feeling so miserable is because i'm not being myself. I'm feeling ridiculously homesick at the moment but I know its only because I've been hiding away in my room for the past few days. I'd suggest going home for a weekend just so you can clear your head so when you come back you will have thought out clearly if you is really the right thing for you. Everybody gets homesick at some point even if they don't admit it. If people you talk to brush it off as nothing then don't go to them about it find someone who is feeling the same way as you! Its better if you find that person who appears to be quite and keeps out the way because normally there the ones that are going through it with it. I'd love to say it gets easier but i'm in second year and still want to run home everytime it gets hard. But having my support system that I've had all my life taken away from me and expected to find a new one in a matter of weeks just isn't possible. Talk to other friends from home that have gone to uni because normally there feeling the same. I know my best friend was and when we get really down we have a code that we text each other letting them know that we need help ASAP!

    But the one thing is don't let it ruin you uni experience because if you sit around moping your going to miss out on the great things about uni and that's getting to meet such a range of different people from so many different experiences! Its a once in a life time experience so remember to enjoy it sometimes.

    Hope this helps
    Charlotte xx :love:
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    Hi Charlotte,
    Thanks for your lovely reply to this thread - you relay some relevant personal experience and it feels like you've taken some time and care. Just to let you know it's always worth checking dates on threads, as this one was from quite a few years ago and Kermit has long since graduated. Feel free to check out some more recent threads on the topic, or even start your own.

    Happy posting,
    Helen
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