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if ur any gud wit personal probs then plz get intouch
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i got a prob and need peoples advice if ur willing 2 help
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I suggest letting people get to know you first before asking them to PM you.
And txt talk won't do you any favours.
wen i was 17 i was sexually abused and raped by ma step dad and it went 2 court and i cant move on i've had councillin and everythin and feel suicidal ova it
Edited to say: Sorry, I didn't even look to see if this was a guy or not
Loads of people write about really personal things, your not the only one with personal problems
Don't use text talk, ie. know = no, over = ova. It pisses people off and you're not likely to get any replies. Just some friendly advice.
you just have to realise that none of this is your fault!
i know that this is a lot harder said than done but its what you have to do.
Your step dad is just an evil piece of shit and will rot in hell, remember that.
Try not to dwell on the past, i can understand that this will (obviously) be very hard to do. try and avoid things that will remind you of what happened, avoid the place it happened especially! clear out any reminders you have of of your step dad and ask supportive family members/friends not to mention him. just completely block him out of your mind if you can, just pretend he has never existed.
hope this has helped. and please dont throw away your life for what this scum has done. dont let him win!
Erm. As KoG has already said. You can't blame yourself for what happened. Did the court find him guilty? If not then do you need some kinda closure.
Look on the RAINN website for starters, as it is a community for the victims of rape and incest. You should find plenty of help and advice there.
You said here that you feel suicidal mate.
I know, it was just that you read like a female (sorry!). I know that's daft, but that was what you sounded like. Anyway, regardless of whether you're male or female, rape is rape, no matter how you look at it, and it is still just as traumatic. You've been given some decent advice, some of which you should definitely go with, like phoning the Samaritans. Sucidical feelings a sign of desperation, and there's only so much people can do on a message board.
You already mentioned feeling suicidal so everyone who read the thread knew anyway.
What?
Either take the responses with some politeness or push off. We've taken the time to answer your question with some sources of further information, at least you could have the respect to take those answers without being abusive and ungrateful.
If it isn't what you wanted then actually tell us something to work on.
you're the one who put it up mate, this is a public message board if you dont want everyone to read what you write then i'd suggest not posting. people have given some useful links in this thread already and i would recomend visiting those. if you really want no-one else reading these messages then i would delete your original post and post a new one asking for people to reply if they dont mind giving support through private messages.
People who lie about this should get given ebola.
I'm not sure what your last post is referring to - which is maybe why we try to get people not to use text speak as it's easy to misinterpret, but it seems like you are upset at the responses you are getting. It's hard for an online community to offer any help unless they know a little about your situation, so well done for being brave and telling us what's troubling you. It sounds like you've been through a rough time and you may well find that coming here and talking openly will help you, but it helps if you listen to the advice you are given.
I can understand why you found counselling hard - it digs up all the stuff you'd rather bury, but it;s worth it in the end if you can persevere. Something like this can't be shoved under the carpet.
Like the others said, is there anyone you can turn to about this? If you can confide in a family member they will be able to support you through your counselling and help you when you're feeling low.
You've been given some good links already, but you should also check out http://rasac.org.uk/ - they offer emotional help and support. It may be that you were just with the wrong counsellor, or that they weren't trained enough to deal with these issues, in which case talking to someone else may help.
We do have some articles here on TheSite that can also help you:
Surviving sexual assault
Sexual offences explained
Please stick around - this place could really help you if you let it.
Take care
Hannah Spanner x
PS - I'm moving this to the sex boards
exactly how was he being abusive?