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if ur any gud wit personal probs then plz get intouch

2

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    People who lie about this should get given ebola.

    Lie about what, Kermit?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by spanner
    PS - I'm moving this to the sex boards

    I'd disagree with that, I don't like the idea of rape and sex being mixed. Rape isn't about sex, or the sex is not the central theme in many cases.

    Magdal: people who lie about being raped are the scum of the earth.
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    Originally posted by Kermit


    Magdal: people who lie about being raped are the scum of the earth.

    im sorry but where is the proof he is lying?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    I'd disagree with that, I don't like the idea of rape and sex being mixed. Rape isn't about sex, or the sex is not the central theme in many cases.

    Magdal: people who lie about being raped are the scum of the earth.

    I hope you're not suggesting he's lying. That wouldn't be very helpful.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by littlemissy
    im sorry but where is the proof he is lying?

    I'm referring to what the King of Glasgow said earlier on. Nothing else.

    Who knows if he is lying or not, he should at least not be ungrateful for the advice we give.

    Sorry if that offends anyone, that's just what I think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think Kermit is suggesting that at all. Someone earlier commented that we might have a troll and Kermit says hope not as people who make up and lie about stuff like this are shits.
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    Originally posted by Kermit
    I'm referring to what the King of Glasgow said earlier on. Nothing else.

    Who knows if he is lying or not, he should at least not be ungrateful for the advice we give.

    Sorry if that offends anyone, that's just what I think.

    ok.

    sometimes it is hard to take advice, even if you know it is the right thing to do. you can have all this advice in front of you but making that step is difficult. surely you understand that?

    it was a brave step him coming onto the boards to even admit that he has a problem but its another big step to actually do anything about the problem. start getting onto him if you want if/when he turns into another luby/hellfire when they just ignore all the advice given hundreds and hundreds of times. til then, give him the benefit of the doubt.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i thought u wudnt put nothin up about what i told u but i guess i cant trust you after all so bye the lot of you

    I think it was this comment that made us sit up. All we had done was offer some advice and support, without really knowing much about his situation. This comment seemed a little out of place. And lying or trivialising something as serious as rape really shouldn't be condoned at all. Why else would he say this, unless he or we have our wires crossed about something. I really hope he isn't lying about it, and yeah, there isn't any proof.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by littlemissy
    ok.

    sometimes it is hard to take advice, even if you know it is the right thing to do. you can have all this advice in front of you but making that step is difficult. surely you understand that?

    it was a brave step him coming onto the boards to even admit that he has a problem but its another big step to actually do anything about the problem. start getting onto him if you want if/when he turns into another luby/hellfire when they just ignore all the advice given hundreds and hundreds of times. til then, give him the benefit of the doubt.

    I agree completely.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And this really should be moved to relationships, or health, but not sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheKingOfGlasgow
    I think it was this comment that made us sit up. All we had done was offer some advice and support, without really knowing much about his situation. This comment seemed a little out of place. And lying or trivialising something as serious as rape really shouldn't be condoned at all. Why else would he say this, unless he or we have our wires crossed about something. I really hope he isn't lying about it, and yeah, there isn't any proof.

    He was referring to something I said.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheKingOfGlasgow
    And this really should be moved to relationships, or health, but not sex.

    :yes:
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    Originally posted by TheKingOfGlasgow
    I think it was this comment that made us sit up. All we had done was offer some advice and support, without really knowing much about his situation. This comment seemed a little out of place. And lying or trivialising something as serious as rape really shouldn't be condoned at all. Why else would he say this, unless he or we have our wires crossed about something. I really hope he isn't lying about it, and yeah, there isn't any proof.

    yes, i understand but IF he is telling the truth right now he will be quite scared and paranoid which came across in his post.

    i do understand what you guys are saying, honestly. rape is one of the scummest things on this planet and i hate it when people lie about it. but i think that this guy is a bit scared and we should give him the benefit of the doubt.

    IF he turns out to be a troll then you can all tell me "i told you so" or stone me or something.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by littlemissy
    sometimes it is hard to take advice, even if you know it is the right thing to do. you can have all this advice in front of you but making that step is difficult. surely you understand that?

    Yes, but that wasn't my point.
    ya a lil bit but i dint need u puttin it up as well
    i thought u wudnt put nothin up about what i told u but i guess i cant trust you after all so bye the lot of you

    both seem a mite ungrateful after we spent time finding those resources.

    There's ignoring it, and there's throwing it back in someone's face.

    I don't know or care about trolling. I just don't like rudeness- if you don't like the advice, just ignore it, or ask more specifically for something.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Yes, but that wasn't my point.



    both seem a mite ungrateful after we spent time finding those resources.

    There's ignoring it, and there's throwing it back in someone's face.

    I don't know or care about trolling. I just don't like rudeness- if you don't like the advice, just ignore it, or ask more specifically for something.

    You're going to make the guy feel like no one cares. That's not really what he needs just now by the sounds of things.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I totally have given him benefit of the doubt, if you read my posts at the beginning of the thread. All I'm saying is that the last comment made seemed a bit out of place, you know. It must be hugely difficult for him to admit this has happened, he has done it now, and we've tried to help him. I'm kinda thinking along the same lines as Kermit, but innocent until proven guilty and all that, I just hope he isn't lying, because it can be that kind of behaviuor that makes real rape victims less able to speak out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Madgal99
    You're going to make the guy feel like no one cares. That's not really what he needs just now by the sounds of things.
    And no he's not. If you read the thread all you will read (bar the etiquette points) is help being offered to him. Really, if we can't help fighting among ourselves, how can we help people who might actually need our help? It always seems that we get caught up in our own arguments and lose sight of the original question.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He probably went about this whole thing the wrong way but like people have said, he needs to be given the benefit of the doubt. The 'out of place' comments were directed at me as well. I just think even mentioning he may be lying will make him think no believes him. It's very discouraging hearing that someone thinks you could possibly be lying.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheKingOfGlasgow
    And this really should be moved to relationships, or health, but not sex.

    I wasn't trying to offend by moving it here - it's more that this is where I can read it most as it's one of my boards (and relationships isn't) - I can move it to health though if you think it's better.

    As for the troll issue, I really think that some of you need to give people the benefit of the doubt rather than assuming that every newbie is green with yellow spots.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Like Kermit said, I think the idea of sex and rape in the one forum isn't that great an idea, and it's not really a sex related thread. Oh, and I wasn't offended by it being in sex. And sorry for thinking he might be a troll.
    It's very discouraging hearing that someone thinks you could possibly be lying.
    Yeah, I know, again apologies.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Originally posted by Kermit
    both seem a mite ungrateful after we spent time finding those resources.
    I can't say much about the subject, but: The two phrases Kermit quoted with that suggest to me that he doesn't know how the boards work. He thought he was saying it to someone in specific, and he thought that that someone told it to everyone else. That would explain why he feels betrayed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zalbor
    I can't say much about the subject, but: The two phrases Kermit quoted with that suggest to me that he doesn't know how the boards work. He thought he was saying it to someone in specific, and he thought that that someone told it to everyone else. That would explain why he feels betrayed.
    well that would certainly explain it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    too much 'you need help' advice here. there's too much people pushing other people's problems onto professional carers or volunteer listeners. wot happened to neighbourly care.

    while you are not alone, your problems 'are' very personal to you and if i were in that position i shouldn't imagine i'd find talking about it with other male victims very helpful - alltho any decent girlfriend should understand and spare all the time you need.

    has it ever stopped you doing something in your life?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and can i just say i expected better from posters here.. you've completly missed the point.. theres a person with a real problem here and the best you can do is to talk about whether this post is in the right cataogory.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheSovereign
    and can i just say i expected better from posters here..
    ha ha
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree, this thread made me feel quite sad that so many posters here are such complete arseholes. More concerned with maintaining their clique. Flaming when its inappropriate and unneccesary. If you want to help, then thats really admirable, but dont do it and then moan because you didnt get the gratitude and praise that you wanted back.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    I agree, this thread made me feel quite sad that so many posters here are such complete arseholes. More concerned with maintaining their clique. Flaming when its inappropriate and unneccesary. If you want to help, then thats really admirable, but dont do it and then moan because you didnt get the gratitude and praise that you wanted back.

    :yes:

    i think someone's been scared off by the looks of things....a bit sad really.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I tried to help :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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