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agree. totally agree. it's called self-restraint. and i have some.
i used to be engaged. and then he moved a long way away to uni. i fell for someone else. big time. it would have been SO EASY to cheat then. the guy was up for it, and my ex never would have known. but i didn't. i had more respect for my ex, and for myself. i spent more time with the new guy, just as friends. to see if it was really something, or if i was just being stupid. when i got to the point when i knew it was something more, i left my ex before i even touched him. it's only fair. cause if i was feeling that way about someone else, i couldn't really have loved him anymore.
I know you didn't say it's right, but at the same time, there's a difference between having feelings for someone and acting on them.
Yes, I can. I've already been in the worst relationship situation I'll ever allow myself to be in, with my ex husband. I had opportunities to cheat and, in all honesty, I doubt anyone (except him) would have blamed me, but I didn't because I am in control of my own actions!
Yes, that's true. People do end up doing things they didn't set out to do at the outset, but they still decide to do them. Nobody holds a gun to thier heads. Yes, I do believe that some people grow up and change. But there again, many don't.
There have been times when I've "fallen" for other people when I was with my ex husband, but I ignored it and it went away. I didn't flirt with them and I didn't get into compromising situations with them. The one person who it turned out I developed REAL feelings for and not just a crush, I didn't touch with a bargepole for three years until we were BOTH free and single.
Yes, it's also called self control, self discipline, decency, scruples, morals and integrity! Not very fashionable words are they? They went out with the "If it feels good, do it" generation. Nice to know there are still some of us relics left though.
And that's the way a decent person does it. There's that word again. Sounds like it's from a 40's black and white, doesn't it.
At least you're honest and don't try to make excuses for it. That's something I guess. Thing is, how old are you? I mean, it's one thing when you're 15, 16, even 18....but it's another altogether if you're still doing it, a serial adulterer when you're like, 40, leaving a string of abandoned wives and damaged,confused children in your wake.
Keep developing those morals, the world needs more people with them.
Miffy, you do seem to have more experience than me, so I can't argue with that as for me, I can't bare the thought of being in a serious relationship myself so maybe that's why I can't see it your way. Maybe one day I will - Maybe my mind will change about the way I think about relationships. Who knows --
I've never been put in a position were I'm in a serious relationship and been given the opportunity to cheat but I still stand by what I say and except that you can Never say 'Never'.
As many things in life, you can never plan or guaranntee what you may do in the future.
You're 19! The last thing you should be worrying about is serious relationships, take it from me. One day the person will come along who will change your mind.
I was 19 at the time, actually it carried on past my 20th birthday because I recall I got a rather nice present from the girl!
Well at least we can agree on that :yes:
People need to take responsibility for their actions. Cheating isn't an accident, cheating is a definite action- it may not be intended at the outset, but there is intention there. the thought is "I have a girlfriend, but I want to screw this other girl, so sod my partner, I'm going to cheat". It is intended, unless you are date-raped or something.
People need to develop morals, even if the relationship is just a fling it's a bit off to start screwing somebody else without even letting your partner know. And yes, that is a tad hypocritical of me, but one lives and learns.
To err is indeed human, but if there was anything to a relationship at all then cheating wouldn't even enter the equation.
:yes: Zactly.
I got what was coming to me tho, cos i lost my bf and had my dairy read. Really screwed my head up. but i deserved it.
Now when danny told me he cheated on me i was heart broken, i felt like i could have died. But he wouldnt come near me cos he said he felt so bad so i stupidly told himthat i had cheated too a while back (big hairy lie) so that i could have a hug.
Now i'm with lee, I wouldnt even dream about looking at another guy in that way, let alone cheating on him. It took me so long to get with him. I had to steal him away from his ex. for two months me and him were going out behind her back.
Ive chatted shit sorry. but blah...its all relative
Sorry but I dont understand this phase would you mind explaining to me please.
Sorry that didn't make much sense, hard to explain! :eek2:
I think it's like 'to error is human, to forgive is divine'.
So it's normal to make mistakes, and better to forgive people.
That kinda thing I think.
cheated on by my 'gf'... just the once.. proper cut me up.. should have learnt my lesson.. !!
The sentiment is that everyone makes mistakes, but it takes a really good person to forgive those mistakes.