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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey.. I'm new here.. was given this link because I'm "out of control" and need help..so yes..
Basically my parents went through my stuff, read diaries, saw I'd written about getting stoned, went through my room, stole my baccy and rizla, am now acting all disappointed and like I'm a problem child and stuff..
Well I don't think they had the right to go through my stuff, and I don't really think it's any of their business that I smoke weed..
I would have told them if I didn't know the blinkered attitude they have towards drugs and I knew they'd fly off the handle.
Do you know of any links that will show them that I'm not some problem child for smoking weed with my friends? Or has anyone else had a similar experience with parents and got through it?
Because I am resorting to lying to them about it now and denying it, but still having to refuse to get a drugs test because I shouldn't have to, I don't think..
I know what drugs I want to try..cannabis, poppers, alcohol, shrooms, and I'm pretty sure that's it.. And I haven't tried shrooms before, but the others were fine.
Do you think it's a personal choice?
I'm just mad because they're treating me so bad and I just want to move out now..it's causing me so much stress!!!
Or do they have the right to go through my stuff and take anything they find away because it's illegal and they're my parents?
I'm worried they'll stop me camping at Reading now, because they'll be worried.. How can I prove to them that it's not that bad?
Basically my parents went through my stuff, read diaries, saw I'd written about getting stoned, went through my room, stole my baccy and rizla, am now acting all disappointed and like I'm a problem child and stuff..
Well I don't think they had the right to go through my stuff, and I don't really think it's any of their business that I smoke weed..
I would have told them if I didn't know the blinkered attitude they have towards drugs and I knew they'd fly off the handle.
Do you know of any links that will show them that I'm not some problem child for smoking weed with my friends? Or has anyone else had a similar experience with parents and got through it?
Because I am resorting to lying to them about it now and denying it, but still having to refuse to get a drugs test because I shouldn't have to, I don't think..
I know what drugs I want to try..cannabis, poppers, alcohol, shrooms, and I'm pretty sure that's it.. And I haven't tried shrooms before, but the others were fine.
Do you think it's a personal choice?
I'm just mad because they're treating me so bad and I just want to move out now..it's causing me so much stress!!!
Or do they have the right to go through my stuff and take anything they find away because it's illegal and they're my parents?
I'm worried they'll stop me camping at Reading now, because they'll be worried.. How can I prove to them that it's not that bad?
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Comments
Realistically your their son/daughter and they are only looking out for you, you live in their house and you obey their rules, that's the reality of the situation, i know it's not good but you are only 15, you can hardly expect them to just let you sit and smoke your head off can you? well actually some of my friends parents don't mind it at all.
I don't smoke it in their house, I don't smoke it in excess generally, I don't harm others, I'm not stealing from them to "fuel" my habit.. if it was alcohol then they'd probably understand more, and in my opinion that's worse.
I hate the ideas people have about cannabis.
Also the law states that if you are under 18 new guidlines state that you can be arrested if the old bill catch you with it.
At the very least (even if its not serious) its gonna be a bit stressful for your parents havin to come and pick you up from the nick.
This is exactly what i didnt want to hear @ 15-16 but its the truth:)
they have nurtured you from being a helpless baby ...a no nothing toddler.
they read the stuff abot drugs and youth ...drugs and crime ...you can't possibly expect loving parents to react in any other way ...can you?
:yes:
then telling them ...yesterday i was smoking weed and none of you even noticed ....
Treat your parents with respect, NEVER shout at them, swear at them...etc. This will really not help the situation.
Its not totally surprising that they dont want you doing it, to them your probably still that little kid they dont want going off into the big bad world.
I smoked from the age of 14, and I kept it hiden from my parents, apart from getting caught once.
I'm not sure they will ever be 'cool' about you doing it, you may want to try and explain your situation, but whether they will ever be happy about it, only you can tell.
As for going through your stuff, well its their house isnt it. But then it doesnt exactly promote trust between you. Trust works both ways, if they want to trust you then you have to trust them too. And that means them not poking through your stuff all the time.
Being a teenager is hard, good luck with it.
I really want to have a discussion with them and try explain it, but from previous discussions I know they will never change their mind and just fly off the handle.
I guess all I can do is count myself lucky that they didn't find out a year ago.
I see your point about keeping it in their house though..I may think about that as I dont want them getting busted for my personal decision.
However, I dont agree with the "when you become a parent..." statement, as I dont believe they care about me in the slightest, only about how they deem themselves to have failed as parents if I am doing what they suspect. If they did care then they would not have done many of the things that they have done and I would not be the way that I am now.
it'd be chucked out before it got to court.
I barely spoke to my parents and them to me for about 4 years even though we were obviously living in the same house. It certainly wasnt exactly the happiest of families.
My dad found stuff of mine once and said;
"You mum said that she would leave if any of you (I have siblings) were doing this, do you want to split up the family?"
So yes, I can understand the point about them doing things that make them appear to not care about your point of view.
However, its not quite as simple as that, I now, quite a few years later, actually get on with my folks. Their parenting skills were shit, but that wasnt really their fault and they did actually care.
All I can say is that it does get easier and better, just stick it out, all that stuff about those being the best years of your life is bollox.
bongbudda, that is good.. everyone keeps repeating these are the best days of my life and if that was true then the rest of my life will be absolute hell! im glad it gets better with parents too.. i do want to get on with them, they just cant accept im growing up, and cant accept any ideas other than their own.
Most people I know had a crap time of it during their teenage years, its only when you get to about 17 or 18 when it starts getting better.
As for your parents, well you being a teenager is difficult for them too, up untill now you have been a child. And as that they can treat you as such, you have to remember that there is a good deal of re-adjustment for them too. They have to learn how to communicate with you as an equal.
Its taken years but I do get on alright with my folks now, to be frank I doubt I would be that bothered if they just dropped off the earth. But they are pleasant enough.
Get a lockable box and put stuff in there, you have that right......they have a duty as parents to care for you and they are only trying to keep you safe.
Do they smoke? have you ever talked to them openly about their view of drugs....it's possible that they have a very scared and closed attitude to drugs?
The best option is to hide it better. I found the battery section of a plugged in radio was good or taped to the bottom of a draw.
I wouldnt be bothered at all if they dropped off the face of the planet to be honest, although I'd feel bad for my little sister I guess.
I was debating a lockable box but I think they'd only try get into it.. I have no trouble hiding weed and they can't find it, but it's diaries and journals and letters they've been through and I can't hide.. they went through my stuff because apparently I have an air of hiding something from them and apparently they'll stop at nothing to discover what this "something" is..
I guarantee they'll get into at least one of them.
Just play the whole thing up.
i wish i had a home video system to aim on these lockable boxes though!!!!
Look here, you got drugs but in which way you got them? If you buy it you buy it for your parents money. They have full right to search in your things, ban you from having this or that, command you to do whatever they wish- because all things you think are yours are actually THEIRS. They worked, they paid. You do nothing but enjoy things that are a result of their sweat, blood, long working days, enduring rude bosses, stupid colleagues, so on.
But if this is true, ( this IS true, right?) where YOUR rights are?
Remember- There are no rights except property rights.
Remember-There is no freedom except financial freedom.
Try to earn your own money. They are yours, really, absolutely, because they are a result of your sweat, blood, efforts…
In this case you are free to ban your parents from your drugs!
The whole case becomes not a pity story about a poor girl exploited by stupid parents, but a serious conversation, a mutual agreement, a “court of peers” where both sides are equal.
LabRat is right, this is indeed a heavy political question, does this teenagers puff fall under the right to reasonable privicy? Or perhaps this is indeed a legitimate search and seisure.
Hello Bong, cheers! Hols were lovely thanks, the weather in Devon was gorgeous!
and I don't think LabRat needs any encouragement.......
Anyway, I'm on a mission this summer to see as much of th UK as possible, oldies destinations included!
Even if it was reasonable for them to take away my drugs, they havent found them and so are busying themselves with the rest of my life and reading my stuff and sending me to psychiatrists and similar.. they're overreacting and making my gcses even more stressful than they should be.. they're also making me look incredibly unfit! Yes..I blame them for my abnormally high heart rate at the moment..i went to the gym and it was 150bpm or something!!
I dont know what to say apart from good luck, as I say, try and maintain youself restraint and act well and then they will end up looking neurotic and silly. Well hopefully anyway.
I am denying it and you're right, they will end up looking neurotic and silly, just like they did at the GPs
Then you can come back each week and say things like, hmmm yes, I feel I'm making real progress, I had a good break-through this week.
It would also bitch your parents to the doctor, which could be enjoyable.
I'd go and enjoy it, but then maybe your not like me.