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individuality crisis
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, basically, i have this friend who is turning into me, its little things like the way she wears her bracelets to the guys she likes and the music she listens to.
i didn't notice it at first and the things i did notice i found quite flattering, but it only occured to me this weekend what was going on.
on friday we went shopping and i bought a magazine, there was an article about my favourite band so we were reading it and discussing the lead singer, she said that she doesnt find him attractive at all end of story. i am head over heels for this guy.
the next day, we see them in concert and on monday she's talking to all her other friends about how gorgeous this guy (the lead singer) is, so im confused and ask her about it, she started getting all defensive etc.
then i started listening to her speak, she's started saying all these little things and picking up loads of strange vocal mannerisms that i have and it freaked me out.
at first i thought it was all just coincedental and then the more i watched her the more i saw there were too many things that were similar for it to be me being big headed.
basically, how can i make her stop without confronting and upsetting her, she's really emotional, has a history of turning to bulimia when she gets upset and recently i've been working with her lots to make her see that she doesnt have to.
the thing is, i just wanna be me again, and have only me being me! help!
i didn't notice it at first and the things i did notice i found quite flattering, but it only occured to me this weekend what was going on.
on friday we went shopping and i bought a magazine, there was an article about my favourite band so we were reading it and discussing the lead singer, she said that she doesnt find him attractive at all end of story. i am head over heels for this guy.
the next day, we see them in concert and on monday she's talking to all her other friends about how gorgeous this guy (the lead singer) is, so im confused and ask her about it, she started getting all defensive etc.
then i started listening to her speak, she's started saying all these little things and picking up loads of strange vocal mannerisms that i have and it freaked me out.
at first i thought it was all just coincedental and then the more i watched her the more i saw there were too many things that were similar for it to be me being big headed.
basically, how can i make her stop without confronting and upsetting her, she's really emotional, has a history of turning to bulimia when she gets upset and recently i've been working with her lots to make her see that she doesnt have to.
the thing is, i just wanna be me again, and have only me being me! help!
0
Comments
A few to try:
Pirate
Drunken irishman
French
Caveman
slow American
See if she picks up on this and starts mimicing you then switch back one day when you're talking to someone you both fancy. she'll probably feel really stupid afterwards and realise that maybe copying you is not the best way to go
and lets face it, that doesnt really help now does it?
(maybe)
She copied everythin i did, wore and said.
She stole my dave and chicken words, and most of you know on here that they are MY fave words!
I used to write things on m fags just to make them look different, and then so did she.
she even turned up to my house in my clothes...that i didnt lean her:eek2:
I told her to stop being me and get her own personallity....didnt work tho.
With people like that it dnt really work....try changein your handwriting and see id she does it too... get a new hairstyle, buy some new clothes...and stop telling her the things you really like. instead tell her the opposite then in convo with your mates when she says how much she likes such and such say well bla bla is crap and i like oogiwhatsit
Is she going to freak and lose self esteem if you have a talk to her? Perhaps you need to start seeing less of her, try to get it through to her that she can have other friends and follow other trends.
make her see that it is ok to have your own style and your her mate so you will accept her no matter what.
Try not to be too hard on her, but it is an awful thing to have to put up with. Try and tell her that she is useful and good, that people will like her as HER and not as you, and see how it goes. Try the soft approach first, but if that doesn't work you'll have to be more blunt.
Maybe one thing you could do is if you ever go out shopping with her help her try and build her own personality up, direct her towards clothes and music that looks good on her, but isn't the saame style as you.
ignoring her is really hard too, she's in all but one of my lessons and if i like dont say hello to her or something she gets in a tiss and starts asking me whats wrong. arghhh i cant take this
i agree with this, next time you're out shopping or something suggest something for her, "this would suit you" or something?
but yeah, imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery, and you're obviously doing something right, cause this girl choose you to model herself on.