If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
What do you talk about?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've never been great for meeting people, I've always managed in the end but I've never been one of those people who can talk to anybody within seconds.
Although it may be a case of god given talent for these people I'm sure there are certain things everybody can do to improve how they converse with strangers, I was wondering if anybody here had any tips?
What do you talk about? Do you focus on specifics or keep stuff very general? How do you liked to be talked to by new people? Do you enjoy people talking about you a lot? (I'm sure one of the best ways is just to ask 20 questions and let the other person talk )
Any helpful thoughts welcomed
Although it may be a case of god given talent for these people I'm sure there are certain things everybody can do to improve how they converse with strangers, I was wondering if anybody here had any tips?
What do you talk about? Do you focus on specifics or keep stuff very general? How do you liked to be talked to by new people? Do you enjoy people talking about you a lot? (I'm sure one of the best ways is just to ask 20 questions and let the other person talk )
Any helpful thoughts welcomed
0
Comments
- If you are out with some friends and they have brought some people along whom you don't know but forgotten to introduce you (used to happen to me a lot!) then smile and say "I don't think we've met before" or "I'm sorry but I don't think we've been introduced", offer your name and then go from there. The times I just sat there being quiet/shy and feeling awkward. Don't. It's easier than you'd think and a lot more fun if you just get chatting - they are more than likely thinking the same!
- As for what to talk about then I would have to say almost anything non-heavy will do. No, seriously! I met a girl this past weekend for the first time who was a friend of a friend. We were introduced (hurrah!) and I asked her how the journey was from her location to ours. After she answered me there was the start of that kind of pause where you know that you are both trying really hard to think of stuff to say next. So I just went a bit random and said, "Can I ask you a quick question?" She said "Sure." and so I asked "Do you like the colour green?" After looking at me strangely for a couple of seconds she started laughing and said "No, it's pretty bad isn't it?" That led to fashion (and how green is not cool), bad wallpaper and other opportunities for humourous comments. Bit random I know, but it broke the ice and over the rest of the weekend we became good mates.
- One final thing to think about if all else fails. People who do marketing jobs use this technique and whilst it might not lead to the most stimulating conversation you've ever had, it should help you keep one going with a stranger whilst you learn and improve. Basically, look for a KEYWORD(S) in every response and use that as your next statement. For example, I might say "Nice weather today, eh?" and they respond "Yeah, but not as good as when I'm BACK HOME." Key words are BACK HOME. Respond with, "Where's back home then?" and they might say "Brighton, ALWAYS hot there." You could then say something light-hearted like "Always? I don't believe that for one minute! You saying you get no bad weather at all?!"
Ok, I'm crap at giving examples but I hope you get the gist.
Going to shut up now, I'm only a lowly newbie and I've posted far too much already. Hope it helps you AntiPop.
I don't talk to them the first time I meet them but then I meet them again and I can't shut up. Tis quite strange!
thats not 100% true... you still have trouble talking to me on times
That's different, I can talk to people about crap whenever I want to, but when I talk about important things I go all shy and hold things back, I am not a very talkative or open person in that respect.
Surely your teeth aren't that bad!? And it is possible to smile and talk without showing your teeth too much. I think.
and AntiPop, - are u Primus fan? or it is just a coincidence?
That is why when people are drunk they find it easier to socialise because there inhibitions are removed which gives greater self confidence.