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should i get her to complain?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
my sister-in-law has had problems of a sexual nature for a long time, well i say a long time but shes only 18, shes been in a relationship with my brother for a few years and they've never had sex because shes scared to, after a lot of hassle from my brother (which i by no means approve of) she decided to go to the doctor, (i must point out that the visit to the doctor was also prompted by her having to have an internal check up and her freaking out and refusing to have it done) however, when she saw the doctor she asked if he could arrange some councelling for her he told her that there was no point in councelling as talking about it is a complete waste of time he prescribed diazapam and told her she has an anxiety disorder that runs in her family (hes the family doctor and there are 5 in total on diazapam - her dads addicted to it) as if that wasn't bad enough he then said failing that she could always let her boyfriend restrain her to just get it over with!! i was appalled when she told me this, but i'm wondering is there any point in trying to get her to complain, is it just her word against his?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think if she complained they would take it seriously and look into it. I would definitely complain. Not only has he not listened to what she wants (counselling) bvut he's basically suggested her boyfriend force himself on her. That is so sick and out of order. What a shit and unsympathetic doctor.
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    I would raise an issue with how she has been treated. And I would also change GPs, if possible, for a second opinion. How a doctor can just prescribe diazapam just like that is beyond me.

    EDIT: I just read to the bit about the diazepam. The last bit is absolutely scary chickens. *Definitely* complain. As high as you can get. And don't get fobbed off at any level. That doctor is dangerous.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :crazyeyes
    fucking hell. that doctor needs to be struck off.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would raise an issue with how she has been treated. And I would also change GPs, if possible, for a second opinion.

    I would also do this.

    I would personally complain. Surely the girl would have a say in what she wants? (as in, councelling or something else)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    get a complaint in, and take it as high as you can. That's a fucking disgrace.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok, so you all agree with me, i mean i knew doctors were quick to hand out anti-depressants, but for a sexual problem! ridiculous! but i really want to complain in case he ever trys to get some other poor girl to let her boyfriend 'rape' her, if she decides she doesn't want to complain is there any way that i can? and does anyone know the procedure?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think you could complain on her behalf, as you're not her guardian, but its important that she does complain.

    Your surgery will have a complaints procedure. You might be best off PMing Man of Kent to see how to do it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What the doctor said was out of order I do hope she complains.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Definitely try and get her to complain, although if she's really not happy about it then don't push it, she's the most important one at the end of the day.

    In future she might find that someone at a family planning clinic is more helpful.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm appalled to hear that you sister in law has had such an awful experience with her doctor. I agree with the previous posts about a complaint being raised and also a change of GP. I think the advice she was given is horrendous and for someone so nervous about sex, I can't understand why he would have suggested putting herself in such a vulnerable and traumatic situation, not to mention the possible consequences it could have created for her relationship with your brother. I think some sort of counselling would be an excellent idea and hopefully her new doctor can help with this.

    I have found this list of helplines from the BBC website, there are several different organisations that she could call if she so wishes, I assume that they might be able to organise some help for her as well.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would like to thank everyone for there advice i will see my sister-in-law tomorrow and i will show her your replies, i have advised her to complain and change doctors and seeing that so many other people have said the same thing will hopefully help her come to a sensible decision, thanks!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah definatly suggest to her to complain and maybe gently try and persuade her; but don't stress her out about it if she doesn't want to. She should definatly change GP and get a second opinion though.
    Most important thing is just to be there for her; sounds like you care a lot about her and that support will be a great help when she's having problems, with doctors or otherwise. :thumb:
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