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Guy Friend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just a quickie to check I've not been mean and nasty.
Got a text just now from a good friend of mine, used to know him vaguely but since I've been ill we've been talking on msn loads and been out for drinks a couple of times with other friends. He's been round here once to watch a film (we were supposed to be going for a drink but I was shattered and didn't want to go out) and then we went to the cinema on Monday (his idea, kind of, went to see Music and Lyrics, which he didn't think he could go to without a girl being as it's a chick flick).
Text said:
Now he's a lovely guy, no questioning that, and I like him as a mate a lot, but I'm really not interested in more than friends. Now feeling kind of guilty that I might have given him the wrong impression. Apparently I can be an outrageous flirt without really meaning to or even realising. Was tempted to ignore the text but then figured that would be really harsh so sent a really waffling one back.
Do you think that was reasonable? I know I sound like some 13 yr old, he said this and I said that, but I've screwed up along these lines in the past and hurt a good friend, don't really want to do it again.:banghead:
Got a text just now from a good friend of mine, used to know him vaguely but since I've been ill we've been talking on msn loads and been out for drinks a couple of times with other friends. He's been round here once to watch a film (we were supposed to be going for a drink but I was shattered and didn't want to go out) and then we went to the cinema on Monday (his idea, kind of, went to see Music and Lyrics, which he didn't think he could go to without a girl being as it's a chick flick).
Text said:
Sorry if I wake you but I'm drunkk so that is a good excuse! I like you a lot and want us to be more than friends. omg I can not focus properly a xxx
Now he's a lovely guy, no questioning that, and I like him as a mate a lot, but I'm really not interested in more than friends. Now feeling kind of guilty that I might have given him the wrong impression. Apparently I can be an outrageous flirt without really meaning to or even realising. Was tempted to ignore the text but then figured that would be really harsh so sent a really waffling one back.
'I don't leave my phone on any setting that will wake me over night anymore unless I fancy working at half 6 the following morning! You're a great guy and a good friend but I'm not looking for anything more. Really sorry if I've implied otherwise apparently I can be an outraeous flirt without noticing. Sounds like you've had a good night. x'
Do you think that was reasonable? I know I sound like some 13 yr old, he said this and I said that, but I've screwed up along these lines in the past and hurt a good friend, don't really want to do it again.:banghead:
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Comments
However, it will be uncomfortable the next time you see him, and the longer you wait, the more uncomfortable it will be. If I were you, I would make plans to see him quite quickly so you can resume your friendship.
But no, you weren't mean or nasty. You were fair.
Maybe I should have left it until I was well and truly awake to reply, although saying that I think he knows there's someone else I'm interested in/with. Shouldn't be too bad though, as he's never going to know who I'm with because it's another one of that group and we've decided life will be a lot easier if we keep it quiet and that way we'll hopefully get a private life.
Am hoping that the group of us that I know him through will be going out for a drink in the next week or so which would be quite handy, see him and nothing be too awkward.
Feeling slightly guilty for going to the cinema now, may have given him the wrong idea.
So I'm off the hook.
Hmm sounds like he's trying to save face now that he has sobered up! I don't think you were mean or nasty at all. It is better to say what you feel from the start rather than giving him the wrong impression because you don't want to hurt his feelings. You did the right thing.
Men do my head in at times, making me feel all guilty for possibly leading them on when I'm not interested. I'm not pretty or attractive in the slightest either. SO very confusing
I don't think going to the cinema was leading him on, I've gone to the cinema with friends of the opposite sex and it wasn't anything. Mind we were good friends so we both knew it wasn't anything. Don't worry too much it's all done and dealt with now.
See boys, this is why you don't tell someone you like them by text. Either make a move or don't make a move. Don't ask for permission first.
Me either, but if he wants to believe that and think I do then it's fine by me. You'd think we'd have grown out of this by now.
I'd far far far rather have had a text than a move made, that would have been far far more embarrassing and likely to wreck a friendship, or at least tone it down for a while.
I thought we were good mates and knew the deal otherwise I would never have gone. S'all good now though, but I won't ask him if he's got anywhere with this other Jen yet.