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What do I do now???
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, sorry if this is a long post!!! I meet up with an old friend last night and I also fancy her and well there story is below:
We went to a bar we always go to and at first couldn't find a seat but I spotted a nice comfy seat in the corner, all very intimate. We talk alot as we usual do about all kinds of stuff. I was glad she had split from her bf, she was wtih him last I saw her but wasn't happy with him, but I sunk a bit when she said she was knd of seeing an ex of hers tho didnt seem to think owt more would happen and he had gone on holiday for 2 weeks so. Also sunk a bit when she said she may have pulled a friend of friend on a night out but couldnt remember, she didn think she had and the guy hadn't acted like she had when she saw me next.
So anyway eventully I think I hugged her for some reason and our hands meet and she said how cold they were so we held hands and she was stoking my hands for awhile while I had my arm around her for long time. After a lot of chat including her inviteing me to see rocky horror at the threatre and me saying I'd take her to paris. I complimented her a lot,stroked her leg (but not crudely like), told her that I liked her and I would be into her for her not owt like just sex (but I didnt put it that way) and generally did a lot of talking but she didnt pulll away. She said she doesnt make the first move unless she is drunk and or certain the guy really is into her. So I eventuly just said "******, look at me" while slightly stroking her cheek and went for a kiss. She responded!!! We kissed for a bit and then cuddle dup with her leaning on me. Not long after that she had to go coz she was picking up her brother. I walked her to a her car and we kissed again, twice, we kissed and then broke up and talked a little and then I kissed her again and it was even more passionate this time.
I got home and I txt her, but she didnt reply and then I txt her again coz I would normally txt her at this time to remind her I was on tv, and did so. She txted me back just b4 I went to bed and said sorry she didnt reply sooner but her inbox was full. She said she had a lovely time and had fun but had to go to bed and then said see you soon. She also said that b4 she left that night. So that was great!
But today, I was in town. I said the night b4 that I would be and we could meet up if she wanted (b4 we got kissing) and she said she was busy tho and I said cool. I txt her on the way in just in case but said I knew she was busy. No reply to that tho. I rang her later today coz I was still in town near her finish time but no answer tho she was at work. I txt her on the bus saying I just rang coz I was in town and that but it was ok and hope she had fun tonight with a smile, coz I didnt hwant her to think it was a dig. See last night she was organising a night out with her mates so I knew i wouldnt see her tonight.
She just txt me now saying sorry she didnr answer/reply. Her phone was on silent at work and always is. Said she hoped I had a good shopping trip and see you soon x
So I am kinda wondering now what to do. Coz we have known each other years so not like normal dating I guess but then again she may want her space and I dont want to come accross as too inot her desperate like. But I know she dumped her last bf because he never made and effort. So now I am confused, do I ask her out again or wait for her to do it? Trouble is she is ultra busy coz she works weekedays all day, then gigs on saturday (she is a singer) and then rests or does stuff with family on sunday. So I am wondering what to do now.
I am also a little intimidated. She is gorgeous and has been with top guys, like her agent, older guys, the lead in the school musical. She has been with more guys then I have girls, in fact she got a bit of a reputation in high school/6th form but that was unfair and i never judged her on it and at the same time she never judged me, I am not the easiest of guys to know. She is so warm and friendly and beautiful. She could have any guy and I am just this guy thats not had a really serious gf b4 and not the best physically (not sure she knows that tho) and u know, just a bit unsure.
I wanna take it further with her but dont wanna a) scare her off b) lose her to another guy c) disappoint her d) turn into a nutter about it e) not blindly holding on with hope if I dont have a chance.
sorry this has gone on so long. Any advice?
We went to a bar we always go to and at first couldn't find a seat but I spotted a nice comfy seat in the corner, all very intimate. We talk alot as we usual do about all kinds of stuff. I was glad she had split from her bf, she was wtih him last I saw her but wasn't happy with him, but I sunk a bit when she said she was knd of seeing an ex of hers tho didnt seem to think owt more would happen and he had gone on holiday for 2 weeks so. Also sunk a bit when she said she may have pulled a friend of friend on a night out but couldnt remember, she didn think she had and the guy hadn't acted like she had when she saw me next.
So anyway eventully I think I hugged her for some reason and our hands meet and she said how cold they were so we held hands and she was stoking my hands for awhile while I had my arm around her for long time. After a lot of chat including her inviteing me to see rocky horror at the threatre and me saying I'd take her to paris. I complimented her a lot,stroked her leg (but not crudely like), told her that I liked her and I would be into her for her not owt like just sex (but I didnt put it that way) and generally did a lot of talking but she didnt pulll away. She said she doesnt make the first move unless she is drunk and or certain the guy really is into her. So I eventuly just said "******, look at me" while slightly stroking her cheek and went for a kiss. She responded!!! We kissed for a bit and then cuddle dup with her leaning on me. Not long after that she had to go coz she was picking up her brother. I walked her to a her car and we kissed again, twice, we kissed and then broke up and talked a little and then I kissed her again and it was even more passionate this time.
I got home and I txt her, but she didnt reply and then I txt her again coz I would normally txt her at this time to remind her I was on tv, and did so. She txted me back just b4 I went to bed and said sorry she didnt reply sooner but her inbox was full. She said she had a lovely time and had fun but had to go to bed and then said see you soon. She also said that b4 she left that night. So that was great!
But today, I was in town. I said the night b4 that I would be and we could meet up if she wanted (b4 we got kissing) and she said she was busy tho and I said cool. I txt her on the way in just in case but said I knew she was busy. No reply to that tho. I rang her later today coz I was still in town near her finish time but no answer tho she was at work. I txt her on the bus saying I just rang coz I was in town and that but it was ok and hope she had fun tonight with a smile, coz I didnt hwant her to think it was a dig. See last night she was organising a night out with her mates so I knew i wouldnt see her tonight.
She just txt me now saying sorry she didnr answer/reply. Her phone was on silent at work and always is. Said she hoped I had a good shopping trip and see you soon x
So I am kinda wondering now what to do. Coz we have known each other years so not like normal dating I guess but then again she may want her space and I dont want to come accross as too inot her desperate like. But I know she dumped her last bf because he never made and effort. So now I am confused, do I ask her out again or wait for her to do it? Trouble is she is ultra busy coz she works weekedays all day, then gigs on saturday (she is a singer) and then rests or does stuff with family on sunday. So I am wondering what to do now.
I am also a little intimidated. She is gorgeous and has been with top guys, like her agent, older guys, the lead in the school musical. She has been with more guys then I have girls, in fact she got a bit of a reputation in high school/6th form but that was unfair and i never judged her on it and at the same time she never judged me, I am not the easiest of guys to know. She is so warm and friendly and beautiful. She could have any guy and I am just this guy thats not had a really serious gf b4 and not the best physically (not sure she knows that tho) and u know, just a bit unsure.
I wanna take it further with her but dont wanna a) scare her off b) lose her to another guy c) disappoint her d) turn into a nutter about it e) not blindly holding on with hope if I dont have a chance.
sorry this has gone on so long. Any advice?
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Comments
Believe it or not, there are far worse looking guys than you out there... Don't worry about the fact she's been with "top guys", maybe they were just the men she happened to meet at the time. I mean with what she's doing, those are the people she'll most come in contact with.
Well...for starters, doesn't sound like she was ignoring you any of the times you didn't get a response back straight away....she was being honest and explaining each time why it took so long to get back to you - good sign I reckon - means she wouldn't want you to think she wasn't interested! But I know how it feels when you're interested in someone and you text them.....aalways feels like it takes about a hundred times longer for them to respond than it actually does!!
Also....I'd say just keep doing what you're doing, to be honest! You didn't jump her (!), you talked first, took it slowly, and took your cues from her....and if she regretted kissing you at all, doubt she would have kissed you a second and a third time, so good signs too!!
Don't know how long it's been since she split up with her boyf, but that might be a reason she wants to take things slowly, so keep doing what you're doing & take your cues from her...try and set up some times when you can meet up in town or whatever (if possible - I know you said she's busy) and take it from there...she's obviously comfortable with you, so that's a good place to start from!! Sorry I don't have any really solid advice...but sounds like you're handling it right anyway tbh. Good luck!! :thumb:
I know where your coming from though. Like having thoughts at the back of your mind that she’s been with really top of the range blokes and you dunno how you’ll measure up. I think so long as you don’t start getting paranoid about it then it’s good, rather that than be over confident, y’know?
I think you should just see how things go. See what happens and enjoy yourself. Like HanHan says, you’re doing all the right things so keep it up.
Good luck with it anyway, let us know how it goes :thumb:
I reckon stick it out with what you are doing. Do not go chasing her too much, wait for her to give you the signals like you have been doing. Wait for her to get intouch with you so you know she wants to see you, then take it from there.
I am sure she will get intouch with you and ask you to meet up as soon as she is available when you go to pick her up and take her out, it will all work out for the best.
Thats what I am gonna do, waitr for her and then if she doesn't contact me for a bit, contatc her and orgainse another date.
Its a tough balance to strike, coz she dumped he rlast bf coz he never made the effort but I know if you calling and txing all the time you scare them off.
Thing is there is another little complication. See a a couple of years ago my mate liked her and hung out with her a lot. I told him about me and her what happend this and he was cool about it, I mean he has moved on and is having a thing with a girl at th emoment and also said he was only in lust with this girl I went out with so its cool.
But he talked to her alot and knows a lot of things about her and has old me stuff and it makes me confused. See shehas told him about the times she has cheated on her bfs, some them long term kinda guys. I knew she had cheated b4 on guys but it didnt bother me, nuch like it didnt bother me she had been with more guys then I had girls. I never judged her on it. Thing is he also said she is a good lair and has amditted she is. Also that she used him when she was bored and then diguarded him when she didn't need him. Also I knew she cheated with a bf of one of her friends, I knew she did it once but turns out she did it a few times and she is still friends with this guy.
He advised me too not let her lose contact for too long, not to back up too much coz he did that and never got with her.
Also in a convo b4 when I asked mentioned him and her, she said they never had a thing and my friend says differently.
Also once, years back at the end of 6th form I could have pulled her but I didn't for a couple of reasons, apperently he mentioned this to her once and she said it wasn't true and now she says she never had a thing with him yet he says otherwise so I dunno u know?
I mean I do trust her and I dont judge her on the guys she has been with or if she cteaed or whatever. Part of that I think is why we get on, coz I never judge her but I mean if I do get with her, this will be on my mind.
Also the whole caravan thing. He said that I need to get her into me b4 she goes to the caravan or else I should forget it, coz once she is there its out of sight, out of mind. I do know she has a lot of fun there and attention from guys.
To top it all off, its her birthday at the end of this month so there is that to consider and also its Valentines day!!!
I definately wanna see her gig. I will suggest that when I seer her.
sorry think I did anothe rlong post lol.
As for your mate, i reckon if he is cool with you too, which it sounds like he is, he is telling the truth. Maybe he considers their friendship as something that happened but by her standards, what happened with them doesn't count as more then friendship you know? I mean, lot's of people consider kissing or snogging as nothing at all, but to others, it does mean something very serious.
I reckon they are both telling the truth about themselves, but from their own point of view in what they see a relationship as, if you understand my point.
I know they never had sex and didn't snog. He said he kissed her, lips but she didnt kiss him back. He went out with her and her firneds/family loads tho and he said she told him she wight or would get with him and then never did, and they would go out and she would get off with another guy or blow him off to get with an ex of hers.
I just don't wann lose out on her by not contacting her or contacting her to much.
anyway, I did txt her tonight just to say good luck with the gig, no reply a syet and will wait till she contact sme b4 I suggest a date or will wait a few days to suggest a date.
Wasn't till I saw your quotes, then saw you were from Leeds I figured who you were, then double checked the profile to be sure.
You know who I am lipsy??? shhh!!!!
Just to update, she replied this morning thanking me for my txt and saying what she was up to tday and asked what I was up2. No reply to that one as of yet tho.
I guess I'll have to figure out my next move this week.
advice appreciated.
i figured out who you was aaaages ago
I do as well. Actually, I think I know who Bullseye is but am not 100% sure.
Its cool, lets just move on from the knowing who I am lol.
Aye, taking time.
I did txt her again ysterday, just asked how her day was ad then b4 I went to bed, said I hoped it was ok and she has a good day today and I hope to talk soon.
nop replies to those as of yet.
I am thinking of 2nd date at the mo and I am wanting to do summat different then drinks at night but were both busy in the day and weekends in town in the day are packed.
Can you drive? Could be nice to go out for a drive in the country, for a walk and maybe some food in a country pub. Or go to a funfair that's a good date. But if you like each other it doesn't really matter what you do, you'll still have a good time.
I aitn txting today unless she txts me.
I can't drive
I wanna go ice skating in the public rink in town, but as I said b4 its time, coz I'd imagine its packed on saturday. Maybe a night thening tho? meal to if its not too heavy?
How old are you?
Ice skating is good. It's good to go on some dates that don't necessarily involve alcohol. If you want to go for a meal but not make it all formal you could go to a buffet style place where you serve yourself (they are usually quite cheap too)
I had driving lessons a few years ago and then stopped coz I couldn't afford them, but now with my dyspraxia I could probably only learn in an automatic anyway which is fine except the lessons, car, insurance etc costs a bomb and I can't learn to drive in pass quick I mean they say it takes like 50 lessons and thats over a grand on its on.
Yeah, her last bf didnt drive I think and she said she didnt mind driving to see him but with her living at home and me aswell, getting out easy and opportunites for fun, not driving limits it you know?
aye ice skating and a meal is the diea I have come up with but putting it into action u know.
could be seeing her tonight or thursday, depends on if she has owt else on.
she didn't wanna ice skate tho
Tbh mate, if you have dyspraxia you want to stay away from anything where you can risk breaking an arm. jk
Maybe cinema and a meal?
I have never been ice skating tho and I thought at night, in the city, it would be all romantic. Specially if I catch her falling or she can laugh with me falling over, you know..movie style.
yeah I like cinema and a meal. Some say to stay away from the cinema coz u dont talk much.
well she ddint see me last night so just hoping for thursday now. Asked what she might wanna do like.
thing is next wednesday is Valentines day and I have been invited to go aon a tv show that i regualrly do, but its gonna be on Valentines day this time and probably much later, like starting at 8pm instead of the normal 5:30pm so gotta onder what i am doing there.