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attraction and relationships?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
simple question can you have a succesfull relationship with somone if you get on amazingly but youre not attractedto them?
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I think there has to be atleast a small attraction there otherwise long term it wont work out. Although i think looks are the first thing that attract you to talk to a person in the first place so there has to be something.
I remember my friend once saying to me, you can't shag a personality, there has to be an attraction there.
I disagree, not necessarily
Well in most cases it is, unless you meet under other circumstances. As an example, many women in a club check out who they think is good looking and then try to chat them up.
I know in my case i wasn't attracted to my boyfriend right away, after getting to know him the attraction to him became more apparent. But either way, i think there has to be an attraction for a relationship to be sucessful.
IMO, that makes them your best mate, not your other half.
Many people see their other half as their best mate though.
Which is fine if they are both.
You can like someone as much as is humanly possible, but if you don't fancy them then they'll never be more than your mate. In real terms.
When I first started talking to the boy, and the whole time I was friends with him before we got together, it was his personality that attracted me to him, rather than the way he looks (although that helped XD). The fact that I could talk to him easily. There have been people I found attractive physically who I didn't find attractive mentally and vice versa, and I broke up with both of them. Needs to be a good mix, imo.
I think it is normal for relationships to change and the attraction to be more of a slow burn than a raging fire, but if the fire goes out completely, I think people tend to get dissatisfied and the relationship is on its way out if it cant be re-kindled (unless of course theyre both happy with no passion)