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Is Lonliness worth celebrating?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you sound really bitter.. you probably will meet someone and wont be on your own. people are really shitty, but not everyone, all the time. chin up:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loneliness is a bastard. Being shy ive suffered it most of my life, it took a great deal of time and a lot of courage to build my confidence, having it knocked back down again along the way. I've lost many a group of friends along the way, over the years, out of my control and thus ended up being alone until i made anew group of friends, this time though its been harder to do so ive had to learn to enjoy my own company to a degree.

    Now it's more hating being lonely in a " relationship " sort of way because i want someone in my life more than just having friends in you're life.

    So, no it's not worth celebrating imo.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    interesante

    a lot of the posters have said that they dont mind being alone in public. however, they also imply that they do have friends outside of this alone time and are not loners.

    how about the loners and lonely people that feel somehow ashamed of their loneliness? why would they think that there is a stigma to being lonely? is the stigma caused by their perception of their state, or by others perception of their state, or by their perception of others perception of their state?

    the question then continues on, as previously stated, to how do other people percieve those they know or think are lonely or loners, which isnt the same as someone who happens to be alone? do they feel compasssion, sympathy or pity?

    what would stop someone from approaching someone whom they think is lonely?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Iron Nic wrote:
    a lot of the posters have said that they dont mind being alone in public. however, they also imply that they do have friends outside of this alone time and are not loners.

    how about the loners and lonely people that feel somehow ashamed of their loneliness? why would they think that there is a stigma to being lonely? is the stigma caused by their perception of their state, or by others perception of their state, or by their perception of others perception of their state?

    What has been pointed out in this thread is that there is a difference between being lonely and alone. Loners and lonely people are thus not the same group of people. Being lonely is a negative emotion, the word suggests a person feels alone and can't do much about it.

    Loneliness is possibly one of the worst feelings I have experienced, and it can exist in any situation. Because it's a feeling it's a state of mind, which is why another person can be in the exact same situation and be loving it. It's something that the person in question suffers, not enjoys. Thus you cannot celebrate loneliness anymore than you celebrate being depressed. There's no stigma attatched to being lonely as far as I know. It's nothing people are ashamed to bring up or talk about, but lonely people often feel ashamed and helpless and it's them that don't like to discuss it.

    I think most people feel sympathetic to an extent for people that may be lonely because most humans do recognise this feeling in some way or the other. It's a very basic feeling, social animals feel it VERY strongly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loneliness is a state of mind, nothing else. It often follows that someone who is very lonely would also be alone, but you can be a busy social bee and still feel painfully lonely.

    I do think there is sometimes a social "stigma" attached to being alone; eat out in a restaurant by yourself and you will get some pitying looks. But that's more because the people see the lone person and assume they must be deeply lonely and unhappy, and then feel sympathy for that person that comes out as pity. It isn't a negative stigma in that the lone person is reviled, but pity isn't a nice emotion to be on the receiving end of.

    Lonely people often feel like failures for not having friends, and it is that that makes them hide away. They don't want everyone to see how much the world ignores them, they don't want everyone to see what a balls-up they've made of life. That's how they see their situation, anyway.

    I don't think loneliness is something to be celebrated, because it is a horrible painful humiliating emotion. But having the self-assurance to do things by yourself if you want to- that's worth celebrating.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if youre happy and comfortable in your own company then thats not lonlieness.
    People can be lonely in the middle of a crowded room.

    well said..:yes: ..if you like being by yourself that isn't loneliness...if you're with people you can't really connect with and dont understand you, you'd feel more lonely me thinks...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    Lonely people often feel like failures for not having friends, and it is that that makes them hide away. They don't want everyone to see how much the world ignores them, they don't want everyone to see what a balls-up they've made of life. That's how they see their situation, anyway.

    you are so right, it is frightfully embarressing being lonely. most of the time i just wanna hide, and i honestly cant see a positive thing about it. and although being on your own is something else, if you feel accepted by other people, you'd have no problem being on your own. being alone is different.
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