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Trusting your girl
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
You have a girl and she tells you she is going out with her friends for the night. No problem there. This then becomes going out with one guy she is friends with, not as good but fair enough if they are friends. This then becomes going out with him, staying at his place, in student halls, in his bed with him, just the two of them alone.
Now, do you have the right to question her, if she has made it clear things are casual, the guy has a girlfriend she is friends with, the guy is her best guy-friend, he has cheated on his girlfriend loads, he has gotten off with your girl before and he has made it clear he wants to have sex with her?
I didnt have the trust and now, she is pissed off with me...and also that fact she couldnt go out in the end for some reason, but she places all her anger on me for not trusting her, thinking so low of her that she could ever possibly cheat and basically told me she is angrier with me then she ever thought she could be...I think i had a right to be wary about it all.
Was i wrong and does she have a right to be this pissed off and not talking to me? Should i leave her to cool off or try to talk to her today about it?
Now, do you have the right to question her, if she has made it clear things are casual, the guy has a girlfriend she is friends with, the guy is her best guy-friend, he has cheated on his girlfriend loads, he has gotten off with your girl before and he has made it clear he wants to have sex with her?
I didnt have the trust and now, she is pissed off with me...and also that fact she couldnt go out in the end for some reason, but she places all her anger on me for not trusting her, thinking so low of her that she could ever possibly cheat and basically told me she is angrier with me then she ever thought she could be...I think i had a right to be wary about it all.
Was i wrong and does she have a right to be this pissed off and not talking to me? Should i leave her to cool off or try to talk to her today about it?
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BUT, saying that, I am in a relationship and I have one particulary close male friend, whom I have known for years, out of pure respect for my fiance, I would NEVER sleep in the same bed as another man, friends or not and I certainly wouldnt expect my fella to be ok with it
I think it shows a total lack of resepct, and I think you should tell her that
Ask how she would feel if it were the other way round!
If a girl thinks it's alright to sleep in the same bed as another guy whilst they have a boyfriend, you need to get rid. NOW!!
this isn't the same girl as you used to see is it? who you couldn't trust?
I think youd be nuts and a complete mug if you WERENT questioning it
What's the point? You don't fight fire with fire. Either leave her or try to change that, i.e. have a talk with her that it's respectless and not ok, but that sounds as if you try to "pay her back".
It sounds like she's trying to be aggressive and angry to hide something. She's taking the piss out of you, mate, tell her to fuck off if she's gonna be like that. Especially as "casual" means "use you until something better turns up".
Nah, seeing a new girl, but this one i have known for a fair while before we started seeing each other.
I think you are all right, but it's the fact she says, things like, "When we are casual you (me) get arsey if there is someone else. But when i am being faitful you don't trust me!"
Now, i trust her through a lot, but she is angrier then she has ever been since she known me over this and all i did was tell her i didnt like her sharing a bed of a guy who has made it clear he wants to shag her.
Also, i didnt know she was been faithful as she always points out we are casual...so what am i suppose to think. If she hasnt changed her tune next time i speak to her, then i am going to tell her even the most trusting guy on Earth would question her after what she told me she was doing.
I don't blame you! I think that's well out of order. Even if she didn't cheat, you should be the one mad at her for being so brazen and thoughtless!
I have close male friends, and I would expect my other half to trust me enough to go stay with them, should I want to, but I wouldn't sleep in the same ROOM as them, let alone the same bed. I just think it's rude.
Sounds to me like she is getting all defensive about this because she is in the wrong and she knows it.
She is a girl in a relationship and SHOULD NOT SHARE THE BED WITH ANY OTHER MALE, regardless what they do.
If she can't accept it, you know what you gotta do.
I don't see the big deal. We used to share bed on our school project weeks (it was a special one tho, without teachers, but still everyday driving to school). Under covers ( ), and just with tees and boxers. Noone ever hooked up or was otherwise distinctive interested in the other one...
yeah, yeah... I know, I am weird, austria is weird...
(ofc everyone single as well)
She litterally just fucking said, "You don't trust me and that all there is to it...besides you are not even my boyfriend anymore so i dont care."
She fucking ended it because i didnt trust her, when she was the one who decided to share a bed with another guy after a long drunk night out during Freshers week! How Fucking Unbelievable!!!
eta: i think this because she refers to you as 'casual', shows a total disregard for your feelings and she doesn't respect you. these are not the signs of a girl who likes you and wants to be with you. she got mad at you when she was in the wrong and then flippantly dumped you. please please don't try and get back with this girl or talk things over because she doesn't give a shit and you could better.
Wait till she comes crying back asking you to be friends.
Then slam the door on her.
Youre well shot of her IMO.
OP, she was looking for an excuse, sounds like a bit of a gutless coward to me.
You do realise that if someone was to do that, it'd make them as BAD as this girl Bullseye is talking about?:rolleyes:
And why would you want to stoop down to her level?
As Sofie and FIend have already said, no no no - surely 'that way' would make the situation spiral so that they'd disrespect each other even more?
I agree with all of this :thumb:
Just out of interest, you mention she's recently had a Freshers' Week; are you at the same uni?
yea, we realized now that she does not want to talk, but you stated, you'd do that BEFORE you even tried to find a solution...
First of all, it doesnt work for me.
Second of all, the girl never says it is casual until they are pissed off and we are arguing!
Too much crap for me, singledom for a while i think...