Need some advice

Former Member

Hi. I've got a problem which I would appreciate some advice on, if thats ok.
A while ago I was in an abusive relationship with a family member. I ran away from that family member and my home and I haven't had any contact with them for years. I've been going to University now and things on the whole have been going quite well. A few things have happened recently. This family member knows where I am. A few days ago they approached me and they beat me up amongst the other things they did. I'm really scared of them.
I keep debating in my mind whether I should go to the Police. The Police have been involved before but have proved to be a bit of a waste of time. But I'm scared of what he will do next. I don't really know what to do.
I suppose I am looking for some advice.

Former Member

Do you want someoen to talk to or do you want something to be done about this? You could always try the Samaritans.

Former Member

If the Police have been involved go back to them make another compliant and ask for a restaining order, if the other person breaks this they can end up in a lot of trouble. If you want someone to talk to try the samaritains on 08457 90 90 90 or NAPAC through their website http://www.napac.org.uk/contact/

Former Member

freeallangels19 wrote:

If the Police have been involved go back to them make another compliant and ask for a restaining order

A restraining order would cost lots of money because it must be done through a solisitor. I want him to leave me alone. Not ever come near me or hurt me again.

Former Member

Get a 'bigger-than-them' to beat the living daylights out of the abusive person with a warning that if they ever come near you again your mate will slice their eye out or something, threats of psychotic acts of violence tend to work (suprisingly) on a lot of people, especially when they've just had reconstructive nose surgery with no anethetic.

Former Member

what about them womens protection housing places?

Former Member

*ally* wrote:

A restraining order would cost lots of money because it must be done through a solisitor. I want him to leave me alone. Not ever come near me or hurt me again.

Surely as you are at university you will qualify for legal aid for this - i'm sure there must be an organisation who can point you in the right direction to get help.

Former Member

*ally* wrote:

A restraining order would cost lots of money because it must be done through a solisitor. I want him to leave me alone. Not ever come near me or hurt me again.

You can get an injunction to stop someone coming near you and can get help with this if you cant pay for a solicitor. The police should be able to tell you how to go about doing this in your area or a domestic violence agency would be able to (many domestic violence organisations deal with violence from family members now as well as from partners).
There is information about injunctions and numbers you could call for advice on your rights here http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100330002 its written about domestic violence but I'm pretty sure it would apply in your situation too as it says it applies to relatives.

Also a good idea to write down every contact he has with you - when it happened and what happened as the police might need this information.

**helen**

Sofie wrote:

Do you want someoen to talk to or do you want something to be done about this? You could always try the Samaritans.

:yes: The Samaritans are a counselling organisation so Sofie is right to direct you towards them if you feel you'd like to talk to someone in confidence about what you've been going through. However, you may also want to consider Supportline as they actually provide emotional support and help you work out strategies for moving forward. You can call them on 020 8554 9004.

As Ballerina mentioned, there are organisations available to help women who have experienced domestic violence - Refuge provides a helpline in partnership with women's aid.

I can understand it must be hard to consider contacting the police again bearing in mind you didn't have a positive experience the first time round, but perhaps think about going with a trusted family member or close friend

I hope this helps.

Former Member

Sofie wrote:

But the family member beat her up & she's (understandably) scared.

:crazyeyes what happened here? did my posts get deleted?

**helen**

icey wrote:

:crazyeyes what happened here? did my posts get deleted?

Yeah - it just makes it less confusing for the OP to read the posts which actually refer to her problem