Stop caring

Former Member

Well, the ex is pretty over the hill now. I dont depend on her, and I've met someone new, not likea new relationship, a new friendship more like. Like flirting. Enjoying parties and all sorts. But it's my ex. You see, she's not doing herself any favours. You know she cheated on me with this guy? Well she's just cheated on him. In the glamorous way of going to Ipswich to meet up with a random off the internet and shag his brains out all night.

I can't stand it, the girl I went out with, who I cherished, turning herself into a slut really. There's nothing wrong with a girl sleeping with guys, but not unprotected, not randoms off the internet whilst she's seeing other people. It's not right. Its like she has no self respect whatsoever. But I kinda know that nothing I can do will make her stop.

So I guess I want to stop caring. I don't want to get back with her, this new girl is pretty cool thanks, but I don't want her to screw herself over. I knew this would happen, and it has, and I was talking to her friend and he said 'she'll be fine' but I know she's just digging a hole for herself.

I know it's not my responsibility or even any of my business, I mean we're not even close mates anymore after I went to her with a pretty major issue (grandad died wanted to talk to her she just ignored my texts). But each week she seems to have fallen from grace just a little bit more. It's like her life is going down the pan. Obviously, I wouldn't say this to her, but she knows it, but she wont stop her behaviour...

So how do I pack in caring what she's up to?

Former Member

it will probably take some time before you stop caring, you cant make yourself stop caring, but you need to keep assuring yourself that people can only learn from their own mistakes. Because its true.

Just keep your mind occupied with things other than her, and be glad that your well out of it so she's not carrying on like this with you.

Former Member

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Former Member

It doesn't bother me the actual things, if it was 'safe' and she had met a great guy it would be ok. But she's meeting up with all these weirdos - the first guy is a complete nutcase who threatened to kill himself if he lost her!! and the second guy is some internet random. She's not looking after herself, and even before we went out we were best friends, and I'm just genuinely worried about her. Even though everyone tells me not to worry, I can't help it.

Spose I wont see her soon when I'm off at uni and hopefully I'll forget about her. But she's got so much potential and at the moment she's really in the gutter, because she doesn't seem to be really having fun. She just seems to be covering up pain with pleasure but that ends up as more pain..

Former Member

its her own fault. Does the guy that she cheated on you with know about it?

If it was me i'd be upset but i guess you gotta think at least you got out before she got worse. Why can't she just be single if she wants to sleep about?

Former Member

She's young. Lot's of people go through this stage until they are bored. I cheated once too, I was 18. Life doesn't seem seroius then. She probably hasn't got under lying issues, just wants to live wild for a bit.
Leave her to it. Make it your business not to know. Live and let live. You'll stop caring much quicker if you don't know.

Former Member

I suppose you're right, just... frustrating that I can't do anything except leave it be if you get what I mean.

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

its her own fault. Does the guy that she cheated on you with know about it?

If it was me i'd be upset but i guess you gotta think at least you got out before she got worse. Why can't she just be single if she wants to sleep about?

Erm, he may find out today by her. I dont think he will though.

Former Member

it must feel worse for sure. i can understand that. I mean its one thing leaving you because she loved someone else, but this must feel like she just lied about that too. What a bitch she is, and I know and you know you shouldnt care, but obviously its gonna hurt. As long as you realise there IS nothing you can do about it. Shes NOT the person you thought she was, but shyboy it will get easier and soon you wont care at all anymore, but you just have to get through this time when there are still gonna be a few little unresolved issues in your head. Try to avoid contact with her tbh. you dont need to hear about her misdemeanors.

Former Member

im real sorry that happened to you shyboy.
I totally understand how you feel cause I have the sort of the same prob with a girl that some days I just wanna forget or just stop caring. Its not easy
what goes around comes around mate so dont worry.