Stress

Former Member

Recently, I've been so stressed it's really getting me down. I've had some problems sorting out my final year for university, and have been landed with a tutor and project I don't really want with a subject I'm not completely interested in.
Anyway, I work hard, did well in my second year, and hopefully will be ok but the thought of it is really stressing me. My parents are quite pushy and expect alot of me, and make me feel incapable of anything half the time. I feel like I do everything to please them but it's never enough.

It makes me constantly stressed and nervous concerning anything to do with uni. Lately, in the past week or so, I've had awful heart palpitations and haven't been able to sleep much. My brother has similar anxiety problems but takes drugs to control that along with depression medication and beta blockers to control his heart.

I don't think the doctor will give me beta blockers, so I would really just like some tips to relax. I have a month until uni begins, so I really shouldn't be worrying about things but I can't help it. I'm fed up of having a dodgy heartbeat, feeling sick and wanting to cry half the time. I talk to my boyfriend about it but he doesn't go to uni and doesn't understand so I just end up lashing out at him about anything. We're going to a festival at the weekend with some of his friends and I really want to enjoy it without being stressed out.

Anyone got any advice? Thanks guys

Former Member

well.... i absolutly hate to say this...
(i hate recommending uni counselors because of my experiences!)...
but if you do want to talk and work a way through your anxiety, there will be a counseling service at uni.

having said that though, maybe you need to deal with the issue at hand yourself and tackle your parents about always wanting perfection from you. talk to them about how their constant high expectations are making you feel. how its messing up your uni work. how pressured you feel. i'm sure if you try and make time to talk to them about it, they'll understand as its probably just about them wanting you to be happy and do well. i'd say getting drugs like 'beta blockers' from your gp would be a waste of time because it hardly solves the problem at hand tbh.

also wrt your tutor and project, i had this problem last year! you need to talk to your tutor or any member of staff in your area of study and tell them the problem. if you deal with it now, before it gets too late you should be able to get it sorted out before the start of the next acedemic year - change your tutor and subject to one you like - i mean your project is a big piece of work and if you're doing something without the right support or your doing something you have no interest in, your not going to be very motivated to work on it.
hope that helps a bit.
keep your chin up.

Former Member

otter wrote:

also wrt your tutor and project, i had this problem last year! you need to talk to your tutor or any member of staff in your area of study and tell them the problem. if you deal with it now, before it gets too late you should be able to get it sorted out before the start of the next acedemic year - change your tutor and subject to one you like

Well...I did go and speak to the uni but it seems I can't really change unless I email one of the tutors doing the projects I'd rather do and basically beg them to take an extra person on.
It's my own fault really, I didn't think I'd get the most popular interesting projects, so I put some other ones at the top of my preference list instead. Turned out I did well in my exams, got my first choice and could have got one of the popular ones.
I think I will just accept the one I've been given, it could have been worse. It's not relevant to what I want to do in the future, but I'm sure that's the case for many people.

I have kind of spoken to my mum about how I feel about how I feel but she can't take any criticism and turns it round to being my fault. She's already blamed me for the project thing and I just feel awful.

Former Member

Email and beg, you won't lose anything so it's worth a shot. Give them some godo reasons, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Former Member

Scary Monster wrote:

Email and beg, you won't lose anything so it's worth a shot. Give them some godo reasons, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Yeah true, the only reason I'm holding back is because I don't really want to offend the project tutor I've been given. I mean, I know he probably won't find out, but just didn't really want to seem uninterested or get on the bad side of him before I've even started, especially since I've spoken to him.

Former Member

Pink Soda wrote:

Yeah true, the only reason I'm holding back is because I don't really want to offend the project tutor I've been given. I mean, I know he probably won't find out, but just didn't really want to seem uninterested or get on the bad side of him before I've even started, especially since I've spoken to him.

he won't give a toss really what you do
time to get down on your hands and knees and grovel me thinks
you won't have lost anything if you give the grovelling a try (except for a little self respect may be )