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help a guy restore his faith in girls again?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do they really do that?, go to thier girlfriends and you get labeled as a chump?

    I really don't know what to think when it comes to girls anymore.
    I even question my own stance... I think why bother being nice and respectful to anybody anymore because they will only take advantage of you and take the piss out of you. (Note: this isn't a bitter saying about girls but how Being nice for me only gets you treated like crap by everyone). I know im not owed anything by anyone and peeps can be arseholes but somedays I just think whats the point?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Umm, would you describe yourself as sensitive at all?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no not totally sensitve anyway
    if that was a piss taking jab at me then your the last person to say something like that...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah. It definately makes things harder. Especially because everyone else seems desensitized to these kinds of things.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, no. I wasn't taking the piss. It's just some of the things you say sound like the things I said before the whole depression & anger thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok then I apologise, didnt mean to snap at you..
    just to make it clear I havn't got a grudge against anyone or anything. Its just at times I feel really fed up with everything and need to vent.
    basically my main fear is this: I can't be me anymore because im too soft/geeky/nice/wimpy/geeky/quiet to do anything and in order to even carry on in live just become dead on the inside or if not just stop being a nice guy and just look out for number one...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in your case did her mates get involved and try to fuck things up for you?

    One question: is it bad to be sensitive? cause if it is I will switch completly off if thats the case...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends. Being sensitive itself isn't a bad thing, it does mean that things like rejection will hit you harder but when you do find that special someone it's gonna be incredible for you.

    I wouldn't recommend switching it off though, eventually all that emotion you repress with come back and hit you much harder than it would of at the time. Plus, there's a chance that it could make you resentful towards others because you aren't allowing yourself to feel.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sensitivity is a great thing. Being sensitive to your own and other people's feelings and the dynamics of situations are qualities that a lot of people don't have and that are desirable of any empathetic human being. The problem is when you're over - or hyper - sensitive and take everything personally and as though everything is about you (in a negative sense). There's a fine line, though I have to say that while it's usually females who are the latter... it sounds as though you might be on that side of the line, too.

    There's no point in talking about "switching off completely" as that'd simply be you being someone you're not. Embrace the fact that you are a sensitive, sentient human being who obviously experiences life on a very emotional level for your own (perfectly valid) reasons. That will be attractive to a lot of women - and people in general - without a doubt, you need to retain that sensitivity and understanding and concentrate on working on the other aspects of your life that are lacking - like your self-confidence and aptitude for developing relationships. You have good qualities (believe me!) so don't obliterate them in some quest to become the cookie cutter "bloke" that you mistakenly believe every woman is seeking out. This will all come with time, you just need to believe that there are good parts to you and that when you start putting yourself out there and caring less about what other people think then you'll start to reap the benefits - maybe not immediately (or even soon) in terms of finding ms. right... but in terms of the way you view yourself and your entire perspective on life. You've stumbled at the starting block but it's a loooong, long race as anyone who's in it will tell ya ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    did she not share your feelings? but did you still speak to her afterwards? cause I was wondering if you still could speak to someone after this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I mean you did she not fancy you back but you still were able to speak to her.
    Only reason I asked is because for example a girl goes a bit funny so you 'disappear' for a while then come back gradually (not mentioning anything about love)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I bet..., not being able to see/chat to her?
    can I get your opinion my idea in my previous post please? or any other ideas what to do
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is an idea of mine that I could do if it does go wrong

    If the girl goes a bit funny I can 'disappear' for a while then come back gradually (not mentioning anything about love). At least I hope I could speak to her after without a tongue lashing.

    any other ideas?

    sorry to be a pest
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