My partner did a secret porn film of us!

Former Member

Whilst trying to find some info in my partners brief case, I saw a video tape - so there's me thinking :chin: it was a typical porn video and just for for the sake of it and a bit of a giggle I had to have a peek of what was on the tape!

As soon as the tape started rolling, I stared in disbelief :eek: - yes I was right, it was a porn movie - but it was US two having sex :shocking: :impissed: !!!! He had secretely hidden his camcorder (3 years ago) whilst we were having sex and he never even told me about it! I couldn't believe he had kept it quiet for such a long time and with him knowing I'm paranoid of my body and I hate being filmed made me even more angry! I mean what's the whole point of it? cause it ain't like we hardly see each other!????

So when he came home, I couldn't help myself from confronting him. He began to deny it, but as soon as I told him I had seen the tape he went quiet - and then started making out it was my fault. So yes, it was my fault for snooping around and if I hadn't been so flippin nosey in the first place this never would have happened, but if he would have been honest with me from the beginning I wouldn't be so angry!

If someone had done this to you, how would you feel? I don't know how to react - do you think I'm being a bit over the top about the whole issue or would you feel the same?

Can you please give me your opinion before I go mad !!!

Former Member

I'd be appalled, that's such a huge betrayal of trust!

I definitely don't think you're overreacting about this. What was his excuse for filming you?

Former Member

If he considered watching the two of you having sex to be such a turn-on, it might be a compliment. However, he really should have told you at the time. Either that, or learn to hide his porn videos better.

Former Member

Is this an act of voyeurism? Seeing as one party did not know about the filming.

Former Member

i'd be pissed if that were me. :yes:

Former Member

I would be pissed off and ask him why he did it first.
He had no right to fimlk you without asking first.

littlemissy

God, I'd be so pissed off and really angry that he is blaming me. Don't stand for any of that shit. Gah.

I'm angry for you :mad:

Former Member

That's a betrayal of trust, I'd definatly be pissed off, flattered, but pissed off. No, you're not over reacting. How did he make out it was your fault?

Former Member

Chop off his balls and his penis and feed em to the dog thats if you have a dog of course

thats out of order, big time. id go mental.

Former Member

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Former Member

Lorenna Bobbit much!n (To pink glitter's post)

Former Member

Is it possiable to have people prosecuted for filming without permision? I could have swore I read that in the sun once.

Former Member

HIT wrote:

Is it possiable to have people prosecuted for filming without permision? I could have swore I read that in the sun once.

I'm pretty sure it is.

Former Member

At one point of view i will be pissed off, but another i would take it as a compliment. But still he had no right to go and film you two with out permission!

Former Member

Knee High Stripy Socks wrote:

Lorenna Bobbit much!n (To pink glitter's post)

am i being slow? i dont get it lol

Former Member

She cut of her husband's penis because he cheated on her. (Sorry for going off topic)

Former Member

Knee High Stripy Socks wrote:

She cut of her husband's penis because he cheated on her. (Sorry for going off topic)

He later became a porn star. So cutting off his penis might not be the best idea after all.

Former Member

He also lost all his money and turned to drink and drugs and beating up women.

Homemade porn should be agreed upon...then you can both play up for the cameras!

Former Member

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Former Member

sophia wrote:

I think this is probably a dumping offence tbh, although you have been together a while so you might be more inclined to forgive him. I'd find it hard to forgive though.

Just to make you feel better, a friend of mine was going out with a guy who did the exact same thing to her...and then put it on the internet. So it could be worse. Incidentally, she's still going out with him, the fool.

You got the link to that?

Seriously, I agree. It's a pretty low thing to do. Sex is a very intimate thing for quite a lot of people, particularly in a relationship, which requires a lot of trust. To discover your partner recorded you having sex without letting you know is bound to damage that trust.

Former Member

If someone did that to me, they'd be for the high jump.

It would take a lot to get my trust back and I'd still be paranoid as hell if I slept with them again.

I'd also be freaked out as to why a 3 year old tape of us having sex was in their bag/briefcase. Well, less freaked, more curious as to why they've been carting it around with them.......

Former Member

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Former Member

What if someone did it secretly, but then told you straight afterwards and said they wouldn't watch it if you didn't want them to and would record straight over it if you said so? Would that be bad?

Former Member

sophia wrote:

Well quite. How many of his mates do you think he's lent it to?

Most of his home city has probably seen it.

Former Member

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Former Member

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Former Member

sophia wrote:

A bit less bad. Possibly forgiveable. But still, why did they do it in the first place? And why are they telling me straight afterwards, if they feel so guilty about it why not just not do it?

Well from a filmmaking point of view, it'd probably make a better video.

Former Member

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Former Member

Aww, shot myself in the foot there, didn't I?

Former Member

sophia wrote:

Hmm, good point, memo to self -- never get into sexual relationship with a film maker. (Or amateur photographer, learned that one the hard way )

I've always been wary of anyone interested in photography.

Former Member

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