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God Father

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
My friend just rung me out of the blue today and asked me if I want to be his Son's God Father .. I was very honored to be asked but totally shocked cos his son is like 8 or 9 or something!!

I'm not even Christian .. I said I'd be happy to be his God Father but I'm not even sure what's involved ..

Is it a religious thing? .. do you need to be Christian?

Anyone a God Parent - what's involved?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My nephew is also my Godson.

    Yes, it's a religious thing, although it's getting more of a trendy thing these days. Your Godparents are supposed to help your parents to bring you up in the way of the church.

    Needing to be Christian depends on the denomination - my nephew was christened in a Catholic church, and his Godfather needed a special dispensation from the priest as he was C of E. Some are fussier than others - you'd need to check.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ive got quite a few godparents, none of us are religious either. I thought they were there incase anything happened to your parents then they'd be allowed to take you in. :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    ive got quite a few godparents, none of us are religious either. I thought they were there incase anything happened to your parents then they'd be allowed to take you in. :confused:

    :no:

    The clue is in the name. GOD-parents. And i don't get why you would be christened if you aren't religious. I don't mean die-hard religious, but it's all about choosing a faith for your child and saving them from original sin and whatnot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As far as I'm concerned, if you can't honestly keep any of the promises you'll be asked to make, you shouldn't be taking on the responsibility
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    basically you shower them in present at b-days times and christmas and other 4get any brothers or sisters he has. sure ul be bankrupt but the lil kids will love ya
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote:
    :no:

    The clue is in the name. GOD-parents. And i don't get why you would be christened if you aren't religious. I don't mean die-hard religious, but it's all about choosing a faith for your child and saving them from original sin and whatnot.
    i don't either - just to be traditional i guess. Probably more because my mums from a small village in the country and her family knew the local vicar well so i think she felt a bit pressured. He did my parents wedding and both mine and my brother christenings.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    As far as I'm concerned, if you can honestly keep any of the promises you'll be asked to make, you shouldn't be taking on the responsibility

    What duties would that be now?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a Godmother to my cousin's son and I have to say that for my family being a Godparent is a question of religion and whether you have a particular faith. Both kaffrin and Ballerina are right for different reasons; kaffrin for emphasizing the religious duties of a Godparent and saying that it is dependant on your faith and Ballerina for saying that Godparents are also there to help the parents in raising the child and in the event that anything should happen to the parents they would perhaps take responsibility.

    I do take the religious aspect seriously as I am Roman Catholic, my Godson was christened RC and I was chosen partly because I believed in the Roman Cathollic Church and was a practising Catholic (though I am not anymore, I still do have a strong faith). However, his Godfather was chosen not for religious reasons but because he was seen as someone good to look after him and help him to grow as a person. The reasons for choosing someone to be a Godparent can vary greatly between families but if you've been asked then I would say it is a great compliment and a wonderful responsibility, particularly if you do not have any children of your own.
    Oh yeah, and you do have to fork out a bit more for presents but it's fun! Personally I like the excuse to be able to spend more time with my Godson compared to just being a random relative!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lisalashe wrote:
    basically you shower them in present at b-days times and christmas and other 4get any brothers or sisters he has. sure ul be bankrupt but the lil kids will love ya


    The father is Anglican, and there's no other brothers and isster he's an only child and I'm pretty sure it's gonna stay that way!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    Because it's a ceremony that marks the arrival of a new baby into the world, which I think is important even if you aren't religious. I'm not religious at all, but I would want to have some type of christening-type ceremony (although the whole thing would be secular) to celebrate the arrival of my child with my family and friends, and I also think the concept of Godparents is a nice one, even if you aren't religious.

    Things like a naming ceremony and a party are fine, but why do the whole church/religion thing if you know you are never going to set foot in that church again? I just find the whole deal really odd. It's like when totally unreligious people want to get married in a church.

    And being a godparent doesn't mean you would automatically become the child's guardian if anything should happen to the parents, iirc, although you can specify that if that's what you want for your kids. If anything should happen to my godson's parents, he would be looked after by his maternal grandparents, not his godparents.
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    kaffrin wrote:
    Things like a naming ceremony and a party are fine, but why do the whole church/religion thing if you know you are never going to set foot in that church again? I just find the whole deal really odd. It's like when totally unreligious people want to get married in a church.

    I agree with this completely.

    As it happens, I don't have godparents. They aren't part of the christening ceremony in the Free Church. I had a designated "person I would live with if something happened to mum and dad" but that was just my parents wishes being known.
    And being a godparent doesn't mean you would automatically become the child's guardian if anything should happen to the parents, iirc, although you can specify that if that's what you want for your kids. If anything should happen to my godson's parents, he would be looked after by his maternal grandparents, not his godparents.

    True, also.

    It would be quite difficult for godparents to look after the child if the godfather is the dads brother and lives in Sheffield and the godmother is the mothers best friend and lives in Edinburgh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i hadn't seen my god mother for about 19 years until i saw her at my nans funeral the other month. she didn't even recognise me (i didn't her either). i just went up and said "hello god mother". :razz:

    in my case they've been a bit pointless.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i hadn't seen my god mother for about 19 years until i saw her at my nans funeral the other month. she didn't even recognise me (i didn't her either). i just went up and said "hello god mother". :razz:

    in my case they've been a bit pointless.


    See - that's it I think if someone agrees to be someone's God Parent they should make the effort to see the child once in a while, send them a Birthday card, etc
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    Oh right well in that case I agree you with completely. I would certainly want some type of ceremony for the birth of my child, but I wouldn't have a religious on because it would be both pointless and hypocritical. For the same reason I wouldn't get married in church either.

    My sister is the secular version of a godmother to her friend's daughter, which she basically understand to mean she is there as a guide and mentor to her, but obviously wouldn't take care of her if anything happened to her paretns.

    Crossed wires! No, I'm not saying non-religious people shouldn't celebrate the arrival of their babies, and give them role models and mentors, just questioning why they'd want to use a religious method of doing it.

    What you've described sounds lovely, much nicer than forcing a traditional christening when you are not into the whole thing :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    See - that's it I think if someone agrees to be someone's God Parent they should make the effort to see the child once in a while, send them a Birthday card, etc

    i used to get a card off them at christmas. she was good friends with my mum then they drifted apart and we moved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have Godparents, mostly because my Mum's side of the family is quite religious. They're only 10 or so years older than me, I think it was done as a way to involve them more and make the family feel closer.


    PS. I cannot believe this thread has gotten so long without someone saying "You make him an offer he can't refuse".........
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    What duties would that be now?
    That would probably vary a little bit. I suspect the major one would be to promise to teach a child love jesus honour God and be a good christian. If you don't do any of those yourself you probably shouldn't be promising to help someone else to do it.

    As I'm sure you well know.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    That would probably vary a little bit. I suspect the major one would be to promise to teach a child love jesus honour God and be a good christian. If you don't do any of those yourself you probably shouldn't be promising to help someone else to do it.

    As I'm sure you well know.

    And modern parents really expect that off their Godparents?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It really does depend on whether they are asking you to be a religious and moral guide for their son or to be a named memeber of the extended-not-by-blood family. Either way it's an honour to have been asked but, like you are doing, you ought to be sure of what they are expecting from you before you agree. If they are asking for a religious mentor and you are not religious, you could always decline for those reasons but ask if you could be a 'named significant person' in their son's life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a god mother to my little sister.

    Don't know what I'm supposed to do like.

    I don't even know my god parents.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    And modern parents really expect that off their Godparents?
    If they don't expect that, then they won't have to promise to do that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote:
    :no:
    . And i don't get why you would be christened if you aren't religious. I don't mean die-hard religious, but it's all about choosing a faith for your child and saving them from original sin and whatnot.

    Very often it was done for for social/family reasons (mother in laws wield large amounts of power). This might not be so common now though.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,269 Skive's The Limit
    I'm a god father. My mate died from solvents, shortly before his son was born, and his missus moved away after his death so I don't really see them.
    I put a bit of cash into a savings account for the kid though, and I send presents and shit, but that's about it.
    Maybe when he's a bit older I'll take him out, tell him stories about his old man.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know this may be a bad thing to do, but I will get my children baptised and they will have godparents, but I wont raise them as a Catholic family.

    I was raised Catholic, but not strictly, but any last bit of belief I had was destroyed by the bitch RE teacher at my school. I hate her.

    Yeah :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was christened even though my parents weren't religious. It was more down to nagging from my grandma! God parents are a lovely idea I think.
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