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Holiday Problems
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So my girlfriend and one her best girl friends are going on a summer holiday to a warm european resort somewhere for two weeks. Should I be worried?
It was planned months before we started going out but only booked 3 weeks into our relationship so although I didn't like the idea back then I felt i had no choice but to let it happen as we had not been going out long enough for me to insist I be there. She told me it was a girls holiday and she didn't really want me there as the friends bf would go and they always tend to argue therefore ruining the holiday.
Now I trust my girlfriend not to deliberately cheat or try to upset me but her friend is far less trustworthy and is likely to cheat. Thing is how can two girls who go on holiday, who love to get drunk, only spend their time sunbathing and drinking together. They will both probably look for other people to talk to and they are comfortable around guys and both look stunning so men will go after them. Then comes the problem that after two weeks how can you be sure that temptation won't be the get the better of them? Its only takes not even a kiss but an inappropriate touch when drunk and she'll break my heart and it will all be over. The amount of times how people do things accidently when they are hundreds of miles away from their normal lives worries me. She could accidently let me down or deliberately cheat on me, hell sleep with half the island, knowing full well that if she can lie convincingly then I'll never know.
Now I know that doesn't sound like a trustworthy bf and although I didn't like it I accepted it until a mate a work asked around and everyone asked said in my position they would be seriously upset that in a happy relationship their partner would want a holiday like that instead of going on one with them.
With a month to go, Its too late to stop her going and for me to be going along as well but what can I do to ease my fears? Why would she do this rather than be with me?
It was planned months before we started going out but only booked 3 weeks into our relationship so although I didn't like the idea back then I felt i had no choice but to let it happen as we had not been going out long enough for me to insist I be there. She told me it was a girls holiday and she didn't really want me there as the friends bf would go and they always tend to argue therefore ruining the holiday.
Now I trust my girlfriend not to deliberately cheat or try to upset me but her friend is far less trustworthy and is likely to cheat. Thing is how can two girls who go on holiday, who love to get drunk, only spend their time sunbathing and drinking together. They will both probably look for other people to talk to and they are comfortable around guys and both look stunning so men will go after them. Then comes the problem that after two weeks how can you be sure that temptation won't be the get the better of them? Its only takes not even a kiss but an inappropriate touch when drunk and she'll break my heart and it will all be over. The amount of times how people do things accidently when they are hundreds of miles away from their normal lives worries me. She could accidently let me down or deliberately cheat on me, hell sleep with half the island, knowing full well that if she can lie convincingly then I'll never know.
Now I know that doesn't sound like a trustworthy bf and although I didn't like it I accepted it until a mate a work asked around and everyone asked said in my position they would be seriously upset that in a happy relationship their partner would want a holiday like that instead of going on one with them.
With a month to go, Its too late to stop her going and for me to be going along as well but what can I do to ease my fears? Why would she do this rather than be with me?
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Comments
You're implying here that you probably don't trust her...
Thing is, all you can really do is trust her and act normally about it. I know it's a bitch, but you just have to take a deep breath and hope it turns out OK.
It's not easy though.
Whether she is in this country or anywher else makes no difference.
If she wants to be with you, then she wont. If she isnt bothered, then she will.
Personally, i think you're worrying too much.
By inviting yourself on their holiday you will screw up hugely. She has already told you she doesnt want you there, for one reason or another. If you go along, she'll not be happy, and you'll ruin her holiday, for your own selfish reasons.
Just trust her, if she comes back and has cheated on you, deal with it, either dump her or stay with her.
She might suprise you....
Just let her enjoy herself
Just be happy for her, let her go and have a good time. Keep busy while she's away and try not to think the worst.
If you make a big thing out of it or moan to her about it, she'll leave in the wrong frame of mind. Be pleased for her and she'll leave with a better frame of mind, and will have a better attitude about you while on holiday. You dont want her to have bad feelings when she's away.
To quote Meatloaf (as I often do) - you took the words right outta my mouth :thumb:. Excellent advice.
Well, I guess you just have to trust that she honestly just wants to go for a good, relaxing time - doesn't sound like she has any ulterior motives or bad intentions at all. Girls do like to have fun without getting it on with some guy, believe it or not.
If there's some kind of drunken mistake, which I suppose is something to worry about (since I'm worrying a little now too), then you just have to have faith that she'll tell you about it, be sorry, and make sure she never does it again. That's the worst case scenario, and even when you're drunk, you have some sense of right and wrong so I think it'll be ok.