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Uni Sucks :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello all (and good afternoon - it's so sunny!)

I need to vent some steam.......

My life feels like it's falling to bits. Well, more accurately it is!

I've posted on here before so this is a running problem. Last year i failed completely at uni and had to resit the year. I was mega depressed, didn't contact my family or friends (well the few that i had), and wanted to disappear, in what wa the lowest point in my life. My dad drove up to see me at uni, as he was so worried (understandably), and i tried to explain to him that i was depressed but he just didn't get it.

I decided to retake the year, and i'm in the same position again. I've failed it all, i've lost my girlfriend, as a result of worrying about things too much and being too serious.

I've never known what i want to do in life, so i thought i'd find that out at uni. Instead i've failed for the third year in a row. I can't tell my parents, they won't understand, and i just want to do them proud. I thought i was ok about everything but i realised today that i don't want to be at uni and feel much happier at home.

I'm so confused, i feel like a failure.. I sometimes feel incredibly suicidal and then i'm fine (and yes, i know i should be talking to a counsellor and not a computer, before anyone says that!)

I'm just so fed up. I fell in love with my (ex) girlfriend and now i can't have her. I feel like i'm destined to failure and don't know what to do with myself.

Yours in desperation

vard

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never been to uni but what I do know is that uni isn't for everyone and there are other options available. Were you unhappy before you went to uni?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello

    I've always been a little unhappy. I was bullied at school and have always found it hard to make friends. I feel awful at the moment, almost suicidal:(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe that sort of environment stresses you out. I'd really advise telling someone..Is there someone at your uni that you can talk to?

    I'm naff at giving advice but here are a few articles which miiight help. If they dont apply you can always do a search for those which do :)

    http://www.thesite.org/workandstudy/studying/exams/failingyourcourseyear

    http://www.thesite.org/workandstudy/studychoices/whatcourse/isuniforyou

    http://www.thesite.org/workandstudy/studychoices/whatcourse/alternativestouniversity

    Hope it helps
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankyou

    Merci:)

    I'm going to counselling tomorrow, so hopefully that'll help:)

    have a lovely day
    x
    vard06
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And you. I hope you're a lot happier soon.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time at uni.

    Hope the counselling helps (let me know, cause I'm thinking of going myself).

    If it's not through your uni, you could always see if your uni does a counselling service. They'll be experts at dealing with students, so might be able to help a little more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Guten Tag

    Hey,

    Off to counselling in half an hour. Will let you know how it goes. Thanks for all the kind words, folks!


    vard06
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck with the councelling! Don't expect anything magical to happen right away, but keep at it because ultimately, you have got to want to change in order to change. I'm sure you can do it. :)

    Both of my brothers at some point decided not to go to uni because they didn't have any direction and money seemed nicer at the time. Now both have recently started university, with one doing a computer tech degree (wants to specialise in AI and robots) and the other in experimental animation and they're both loving it. In fact, they've both received scholarships because they're doing so well. What they have in common is that now finally they both have a direction and know where they are going. It makes all the difference to most people.

    What I'm saying is that leaving university does not mean that you are a failure or can never go back. Where I am now, some of the best and most ambitious students are those who have been working for a while. I'm sure some of them must have felt like failures in the past. However, I think some of them just needed time to figure out what they wanted to do with their lives. I know that I am not quite sure what I'm doing and it's hard to pour my heart into what I'm studying when you I really envision where it's going to take me.

    Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and what we need to do is learn from them rather than dwell on them. If we start being too afraid of the mistakes we end up not learning anything new, we're stuck at the same phase in our lives, desperately clinging onto things that seem 'safe' and 'secure'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First off *hugs* and don't let it get you down too much.

    I went off to uni at 18 not really knowing what I wanted to do, but wanting to make my mum proud and as both my brothers had already graduated straight from school it was expected. I did a year of a maths degree and after failing gave that up, changed uni's and course and tried again. 8 weeks into that course I was desperately unhappy and hated it, so yet again I quit. I then spent 2 years working, being told by my family that I was a drop out and was ruining my life, my friends weren't much better as most of them were well on their way to getting a degree by that stage. After working for a couple of years I'd got a grasp of what I wanted to do in life and have gone back to uni. I'm pretty much a 1st candidate now, because I'm old enough to concentrate on the work and I'm there because I know what I want to do and where I want to go. With only 1 year left of my degree my family is now very proud of me and where I've got so far.

    What I wanted to get across by telling you that is basically that no matter what you do in life you have to do it for yourself. End of the day it's your life and your family will always love you whatever you do. It sounds to me like you aren't in the right environment at the moment for you to decide what you want with life. Maybe a few years away working in possibly different industry sectors will show you what you want to do and give you the incentive to get any education that's perhaps needed in the future.

    It's also only natural to feel happier at home. We've got the surroundings we're used to and the support of the only people we can really rely on when we're young there. When everything else is going wrong in life that's where we want to be, with people who'll mother us slightly and take some of the pressure away. Just as a thought, do you live close to a uni at home, that you could transfer to?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    university is a strain when you feel like crap. it can be an extra pressure on top of everything else that is going on in your life. and i know from personal experience where you are coming from. ' tho. it's good that you are talking about it with a professional. have you thought about may be intermitting your studies and taking some time out from university and returning when you feel better able to cope with the demands of acedemic life? - in the long run that might help and also give you some space with a little less pressure.
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