how to help a friend abt his family situation

Former Member

Hey

I am looking for some advice on how to help support a friend of mine.

He has always told me that he had some problems with his dad, but just a couple of days ago told me that his dad actually hits him, and says things to him like he is 'worthless shit' or he 'deserves a broken nose' and he threatens to kick him out of home. He also said that his dad treats his mum like this too.
His dad works from home so is around all the time and the atmosphere in the house gets so bad that my friend does not like to leave his room even to make lunch or something in case his dad starts at him again. He tries to get out of the house when he can but his dad often makes an excuse not to let him leave the house.
There is an older brother also living there who receives the same treatment but no younger siblings.

My friend is 18 and about to start university in 2 weeks time. He is not working so doesnt have the money to move out and pay rent somewhere. His g/f's mother has mentioned that perhaps he could move in there but i think he is a bit worried about how this would effect the relationship with his g/f and what might happen if things didnt work out. I think he is also worried about leaving his mum in the situation.

I am just wondering how i can best support him in this situation. since he is 18, it is not like social services or anyone like that would get involved. so far i have just tried to empathise with him about how much it sucks and offer to listen any time he wants to talk about it.

Former Member

It sounds very much like your friend is suffering from physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his father, and although he is 18, in the eyes of social services, with regards to child abuse, a child is anyone up until their 19th birthday. So social services should do something, especially if this is something that has been on-going. Anyone can make an anonymous referal to social services about suspicions of child abuse, and they are then obliged to investigate the claim. How does your friend feel about the situation, would he be prepared to talk to social services himself? You sound like a very loyal and supportive friend, which is something he needs right now.