Advice needed please, (like a guy with a gf)

Former Member

Hiya

I've just come onto here for a little bit more advise really. Sorry if this is a bit long i've tried to shorten it.
Well basically there's this guy at work I like Ashley, I've liked him for a while, recently he's been a lot more flirty with me, like putting his arm around me and just being a bit annoying too like poking me and covering me in water just messing around. Everything was fine I was flirting back, and then I told my friend about it and she said he had a girlfriend which also happens to be my manger, so this upset me a bit as I dunno mabye I'm a bit traditional but I think if you have a girlfriend you shouldnt be flirting with other girls.
Anyway I was at work when I found out about him seeing someone I must have looked upset as ash was like cheer up whats the matter, later i was walked past him to go on my break and he put his arms out like give me a hug and i said no you have a girlfriend, and started to walk off then he just grabed me and squezzed me. On my break i was talking to his friend who said he wasent happy with his girlfriend, and said it was fine for him to hug me but i dont really argree with that.
I'm just not sure what to do now, i like him and i would really would like to get to know him a little bit better as i only see him in work, i would love to go out with him properly but i just think even if he split with his girlfriend there would be a bad atmosphere in work and she could make my life really hard, and i could end up losing my reputation and end up being someone who goes after people who are unavalible and after all that i dont know if i could trust him not to do that to me.

Errrgghh i'm really confused i'm not sure what to do, part of me says i should keep far away like most of my friends say and then i think why not i like him i'm not looking for a long term relationship as i'm going to uni in September and i know relationships where simliar things like this have happened and there still together and other which have fallen apart i dont no i'm not sure i think i'll just see how he acts when i'm next in work and see what happens,

Thanks for reading, any advise would be appreciated.

Thankyou

Former Member

Personally, I say listen to your head. It's doing a fine job at pointing out that someone shouldn't be looking for female companionship when they're already in a relationship.

Too many people these days are happy to be looking elsewhere whilst in a relationship. To me, it shouldn't be like that. He should either tackle the problem and try to make his relationship better, or end it and move on.

You can't help liking him, and that's cool . But it might be best to sit on the fence for a while and see what happens between him and his partner. It's also worth keeping in mind that if he is acting like this now, what would he be doing if you and he did make a go of things, and he began to feel unhappy? Do you think he would suddenly find some morals, and do as I've said above?

Most people don't change, in that respect. But some people do.

Don't nark your manager . Don't worry about being friends - lots of people have friends of the opposite sex. but from the sounds of things, he might not be looking for a friend at the moment, he might be seeking out potential future partners - which isn't a terribly nice thing to do when you're with someone.

I guess I don't really have any advice, other than to sit on the fence for a bit and figure out how you'd like to handle it. Good luck .

Former Member

Dont do anything, he has a gf you've said it yourself. If he's not happy then he can end it with her first, but dont pressure him or anything, just leave well alone.

Former Member

Hiya

No one probably cares but this guy, has now told me hes split with his girlfriend which is good for me, but i do feel really sorry for the girl.
But today i was watching him and he's just been flirting with everyone, and it really has put me off him almost completly, i mean i know hes single and he can flirt with whoever he wants but i just dont really like thoese types of guys. Well anyway just to say i'm going to keep clear and try not to chase him although i find this difficult, but everyones going out fri so i'll try to avoid him and not drink too much i think thats a good plan what does everyone think?
Cause i dont think hes going to change even if we were seeing each other, hmmm oh well :no:

Thankyou for the replies sent allready

Former Member

Good for you . For what it is worth, I think you're looking at this with the right perspective .