If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Being friends?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Me again 
Well kinda in a pickle at the minute, not quite sure what the right thing is to do. Well im sure some of you know the situation i was in a while back with this girl from work i was seeing that all went abit pearshaped.
If you don't know heres an uber quick summary. Seeing a girl for about 3 months, she had just come out of a relationship, but she stopped things with me because she said she didnt want to become attached with someone again, last couple of months she kinda kept me hanging, i had fallen for her so kept feeling the way i did about her. Then she tells me that she decided a while back she only wanted to be friends but didnt want to tell me. Then she tells me she wants to be with someone else which well .. you can imagine how that felt.
Anyway the situation kinda went out of control, we just argued and argued. She wanted me to just suddenly be friends with her but she couldnt really understand how i felt knowing that i still felt alot for her and that she was now with someone else. Really is a horrible feeling and can't really seem to get rid of it.
Maybe i have been abit of a twat in the whole situation, i've found it hard recently to be around her ... like a work. I mean i don't want to ignore her or avoid her, just seems that i have been and shes told me that that is hurting her too.
I mean i still do really care about her and i want to be friends with her to make her happy, but i dunno if i do that it will just end up in more hurt for me. But then if it carries on like this i will lose her forever.
Could it work out as just being friends? Has been a really shit situation, guess i've learnt alot from it though. Next time i'll learn to be more careful.
Well kinda in a pickle at the minute, not quite sure what the right thing is to do. Well im sure some of you know the situation i was in a while back with this girl from work i was seeing that all went abit pearshaped.
If you don't know heres an uber quick summary. Seeing a girl for about 3 months, she had just come out of a relationship, but she stopped things with me because she said she didnt want to become attached with someone again, last couple of months she kinda kept me hanging, i had fallen for her so kept feeling the way i did about her. Then she tells me that she decided a while back she only wanted to be friends but didnt want to tell me. Then she tells me she wants to be with someone else which well .. you can imagine how that felt.
Anyway the situation kinda went out of control, we just argued and argued. She wanted me to just suddenly be friends with her but she couldnt really understand how i felt knowing that i still felt alot for her and that she was now with someone else. Really is a horrible feeling and can't really seem to get rid of it.
Maybe i have been abit of a twat in the whole situation, i've found it hard recently to be around her ... like a work. I mean i don't want to ignore her or avoid her, just seems that i have been and shes told me that that is hurting her too.
I mean i still do really care about her and i want to be friends with her to make her happy, but i dunno if i do that it will just end up in more hurt for me. But then if it carries on like this i will lose her forever.
Could it work out as just being friends? Has been a really shit situation, guess i've learnt alot from it though. Next time i'll learn to be more careful.
0
Comments
If she's being ignorant of your feelings then I'd just leave it and if she wants to be mates then she can make the effort.
You really don't need people like that in your life.
Well to be fair to her she has made some effort i guess. She has tried to see me and tried to talk about it but i dunno its like she expects me to leave my feelings and be friends straight away. I just find it hard being around her at the minute, then when i say that she thinks its because i hate her etc. She is even thinking of leaving work because apparently im making it hard for her, i mean come on hard for her! I have to see her and this other guy together all the time at work but im not leaving and its fucking horrible to see that especially with how i still feel.
Just dunno what to do.
You just need to tell her that you don't hate her, you're just really upset that she broke up with you because she wasnt ready for a relationship, then moved on straight away to some other guy at work, and you need time to cool down, and get your feelings under control, because you still feel for her, and you need to calm down from that stage.
Just ask for time I guess. Have a good talk with her.
God, girls are bitches sometimes.
GoodFella I felt awful reading that because I have basically just done the same thing to a guy...well apart from I'm not seeing anyone else at the moment.
All I can say is my point of view on my situation, hope this helps.
I was seeing someone for a few weeks, I broke up with him because I wanted to go back to being friends. He is keeping his distance from me at the moment because he says he still has feelings for me. I totally understand why he is staying out of the way but it does hurt because I miss him being around, equally I can't have a go at him for ignoring me because he's upset about something that I did and he is justified. He tells my sister that he is still angry with me but at the same time still likes me and wants me to change my mind.
It sounds like she still cares about you as a friend and is worried about giving you false hope. I hope everything works out for you and its really nice that even though you are obviously frustrated you havnt come on here and slagged her off.
Good luck with everything! x
Thanks again though