talking to ex again

Former Member

This seems to be one of many posts about ex's recently, but anyways here i go...

About three months ago my ex and I broke up because I found out that he had been cheating on me, more than once. Apparantly, in the last couple of months of our relationship it was a fairly common thing for him to 'pull' someone else on a night out with the lads. I felt I had no other choice but to end it, and everyone I know advised me to do the same.

Up until a couple of weeks ago I had hardly spoken to him, but I decided to text him just to say hi and stuff. We had been mates for years before we went out so i thought it was a shame to lose all that. All was fine, then out the blue he text me saying he was still in love with me, couldn't managed without me and wanted me back. :eek:

I said sorry, but couldn't go back. I don't trust him anymore, it wouldn't work. He seemed to have excepted that pretty easily and now we're back to talking about once a week just about what we've been doing and things. But talking to him again has brought all the old feelings back. I miss him so much , but I don't think things could ever go back to the way they were. It's an impossible situation and I'm so confused Half of me just wants to see him and spend time with him, and half of me hates him for ruining everything, and not loving me, like I think i still love him

Sorry it's been a bit of a rant, just could do with some advice and some cheering up!

Former Member

don't go back there if he cheated

Former Member

Run away and don't look back. Seriously, I went back to a relationship that sounds suspiciously like the one that you describe (not that I think it's him or anything ) because he was "still in love with me" and after several weeks of stalking and talking I decided I was still in love with him and we got back together.

Then he cheated again (and again...) and fucked me up good and proper. Please leave it be, you deserve so much better and you can do so much better. Better yet, tell him to go fuck himself with a tent pole. That'll teach him to shit in his own nest.

If you need someone to scream at you whenever you have the urge, PM me your number and I'll perforate your eardrum

Former Member

innocent_kate wrote:

Up until a couple of weeks ago I had hardly spoken to him, but I decided to text him just to say hi and stuff. We had been mates for years before we went out so i thought it was a shame to lose all that. All was fine, then out the blue he text me saying he was still in love with me, couldn't managed without me and wanted me back. :eek:

talking to him again has brought all the old feelings back. I miss him so much , but I don't think things could ever go back to the way they were.

From personal experience, I've found that I have had to completely cut contact with my exes in order to get over them. I cut contact off from my ex of 3 years 3 months ago. I stupidly rang him the other night though when I was really really drunk I rang him drunk because I've been getting upset that we haven't been able to remain friends. He was my best friend as well as my boyfriend and I miss him as a friend. I miss our friendship. However, all the phone call confirmed is that it really isn't going to happen and its not possible. He can't be friends with me and its not fair for me to expect that of him. I thought after 3 months that he would have been ready to be friends but he wasn't so I don't know if he ever will be.

Its not nice having to stop having contact with someone you've shared so much with but I think in some situations, thats the best thing to do. Talking to my ex brought back old feelings but I know that I can't look back and things can never ever go back to the way they were.

It sounds like you know that you shouldn't go back with your ex, especially after he cheated on you. He doesn't deserve another chance to be honest. I think you should cut contact with him so you can get over him.

Sorry if this doesn't help x

Former Member

I was pretty tempted to go back to my ex. Things were really horrible between us before I ended it, but all of a sudden he was texting saying that he wanted to meet up and stuff. I ended up at his house, and one thing lead to another, when it really shouldn't have.

Got myself into a bit of a pickle there, and it was hard for me to deal with on an emotional level. I just kept thinking about whether we should get back together again or not before I even considered whether we should be friends or not.

It's just not sound, and a better idea to keep away if he treated you badly.

Former Member

A survery was done, and they found out that it takes 3 months of absolutely no contact with an ex to get over them

Former Member

Yeh i agree....get some more space between you and this guy. If talking to you is bringing back feelings for him, dont talk to him for a while. You can do better than get back with a guy that cheated on you

Former Member

thanks for the advice. to be honest, i think i kinda knew the answer, just really didnt want to face up to it

Former Member

innocent_kate wrote:

thanks for the advice. to be honest, i think i kinda knew the answer, just really didnt want to face up to it

Yeah... it can seem harsh. And it can be hard and confusing when your heart is telling you one thing and your head the other. You'll be fine though

Former Member

Love:TheRedOfTheRose wrote:

A survery was done, and they found out that it takes 3 months of absolutely no contact with an ex to get over them

Yeah, you definitely need that whole no contact thing for a few months. Even if you want to stay friends, I think it's best to agree to get back in contact after a few months have passed. Otherwise you'll end up trying to get back together, hoping it'll work this time, and it just ends up hurting more in the long run.