Jealousy Issues.

Former Member

Ok heres the basic story, im with a very good looking girl in my eyes and i just ave huge jealousy problems when she is in a club with me and lads start ogling her. i know this really shouldnt be a problem and i know people are gonna say well she is with you so thats all that matters but it gets to the stage were it starts to spoil my night. she tries to assure me that she is gonna get that but at the end of the day i havent really ever been out with a really pretty girl and im just finding it hard the attention she gets. (I Dont want attention at all, im the kind of guy to be out of the spotlight). she doesnt get fazed by this but it really does piss me off to the maximum. I Love her to bits and hopefully she is the one. i am just frightened on spoiling what we got and ruining us. so the question really is has anybody else had this problem and if u did how did u sort it?

Former Member

In a sense, the fact she gets a lot of male attention is a good thing. It just goes to show how much other guys think of her. The fact she's with you, however, should be giving you a real ego boost in that sense. Rather that than being with a minger who no other guy would touch with a barge pole. As for your jealousy, well, it's precisely that, your jealousy. These are differences that can be easily overcome and if you do love her to bits, you will.

Former Member

There's no easy answer I'm afraid. You're just going to have to trust her. But more importantly, you're going to have to get some more confidence. You need to genuinely think, "actually, why would she want to go out with any of these guys in this room when she's got me?"

I guess there's a reason hot girls are attracted to confident guys. But yeah, it could ruin your relationship if you're not careful. It would be very easy for her to go off with someone else if her current boyfriend is insecure, and constantly complaining about her flirting with other guys or other guys looking at her.

Former Member

I'm With Stupid wrote:

There's no easy answer I'm afraid. You're just going to have to trust her. But more importantly, you're going to have to get some more confidence. You need to genuinely think, "actually, why would she want to go out with any of these guys in this room when she's got me?"

Agreed completely. Even if you don't feel confident in yourself and/or your relationship when you're out with her, you need to learn to fake it or I'm pretty sure it'll start to effect things between the two of you. She wants to be with you - I know that's so easy to say and so hard to believe when you feel threatened - and you need to stop insulting her taste and intelligence by assuming she hasn't picked out the best fella for herself. I'm sure that's the way she feels

It's always difficult when you're going out with a hottie, but you just need to have a little more faith in her and in your relationship. Be flattered that other people appreciate what an attractive person she is, and then smile smugly to yourself since you're safe in the knowledge that she's going home with you.

Former Member

Roachford wrote:

Ok heres the basic story, im with a very good looking girl in my eyes and i just ave huge jealousy problems when she is in a club with me and lads start ogling her. i know this really shouldnt be a problem and i know people are gonna say well she is with you so thats all that matters but it gets to the stage were it starts to spoil my night. she tries to assure me that she is gonna get that but at the end of the day i havent really ever been out with a really pretty girl and im just finding it hard the attention she gets. (I Dont want attention at all, im the kind of guy to be out of the spotlight). she doesnt get fazed by this but it really does piss me off to the maximum. I Love her to bits and hopefully she is the one. i am just frightened on spoiling what we got and ruining us. so the question really is has anybody else had this problem and if u did how did u sort it?

You need to get over this jealously otherwise it will eat you up. I know you don't mean it that way but its kind of saying you don't trust her which she will resent in time.

At the end of the day she is with you, be proud. Those guys want her but she is with you, you are the one that gets to go home with her. Good luck.

Former Member

briggi wrote:

It's always difficult when you're going out with a hottie, but you just need to have a little more faith in her and in your relationship. Be flattered that other people appreciate what an attractive person she is, and then smile smugly to yourself since you're safe in the knowledge that she's going home with you.

Exactly. If I was going out with a real hottie, I'd be pinching myself every five seconds and going "I can't believe she's with me!". Jealousy's a dangerous thing. As I've discovered in the past, it just leads to resentment and disaster. Spend more time with your sexy girlfriend.

Former Member

thankyou everyone for ure posts. its just hard, im not the most attractive guy in the world and im sure she could have most of the blokes, just when people feel threatened they do silly things, i am gonna try and stop it cause i really dont want to lose her, she means soooo much to me. Thanks Peeps

Former Member

Roachford wrote:

thankyou everyone for ure posts. its just hard, im not the most attractive guy in the world and im sure she could have most of the blokes, just when people feel threatened they do silly things, i am gonna try and stop it cause i really dont want to lose her, she means soooo much to me. Thanks Peeps

You ARE the most attractive guy in the world to her, thats why she is with you. :yes:

Former Member

Yup, yup, yup and more yups!!

Jealousy sucks, I know it does. In my last relationship I started out feeling incredibly jealous of all the pretty girls. My ex was a gorgeous guy and got a lot of female attention. The fact that I knew he had had stunning blonde American girlfriends before me didn't really help. The jealousy just got worse and worse and eventually I became absolutely green any time I saw him talking to any girl, whether she was interested or not, pretty or not. I was even lividly jealous when he turned the music channels over to watch Girls Aloud.

I just had to think about it, and reassure myself (I have low self-esteem also) that he was with me, and that he thought that I was pretty. And that was that. I'm not the most stunning creature in the world, and I know that there were plenty of girls he could have run off with. But he didn't. Relationships aren't built on appearances, and he understood that. You and your girlfriend aren't together because you'll look good on the front cover of a romance novel. You're together because you have a relationship in which you both really care about each other. And this is the most important thing. Remember it. It's not easy, but if you reassure yourself often enough, you'll find that soon enough you won't need to be telling yourself anything, and that your confidence will grow too!