If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Take a look around and enjoy reading the discussions. If you'd like to join in, it's really easy to register and then you'll be able to post. If you'd like to learn what this place is all about, head here.
Comments
I agree with some of your points (like engagement is not necessary to prove love and that in some case it is done due to insecurity) and specially like the fact that you point out that it is from your personal experience and do not generalise the all thing.
Yeah, when my friend did get engaged at 16 after being with the guy for 8 months, I just congratulated her and let her get on with it. At the end of the day, whatever your opinion is on the matter, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Your friend is hardly going to turn around and say "wow, thanks for that, you've made me see that actually I shouldn't be getting engaged at my age and now I'm going to break the whole thing off". Best advice is to just be there to support them, even if you don't agree with it.
A friend of mine got married at 19, she's now 23 and divorced with 2 kids.
Yep but it has nothing to do with the fact she got married at 19, it just didn't work out that's all...
You don't actually know that. She rushed into it, and agrees with it herself.
The age is not especially relevant but I think people should have a life and be independent before marrying.
I look back now and can see why i never should have married - i just went along with it too.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
NMM is right. its nothing to do with age - people make stupid decisions their whole life.
True I don't know that for sure...
Being married doesn't stop you from having a life or being independent...
Different peple different way of doing it...
As I said some people get amrried in there 20s and 30s and still get divorce...
There is no way of doing it that will guarantee you the result...
I have to say I disagree with that. If someone is married, they can't exactly take a job/study in another city/country/travel round the world easily, as they have to consider their spouse.
If someone is single, they have more freedom.
Here again different people, different way of doing it...
Some people do get married and still have their freedom and still go in an other city/country/travel for their job ad study...
Getting married doesn't mean you have to stop living for yourself at all, it just mean you have smeone to love and to give you support when you need it...
my mums friend got married when she was 19 and is now 41 i think and still happily married
i don't wanna get married till my late 20s anyway.
I don't think I wanna get married at all, I'd like loads of kids I think and wouldn't want to be an old mum but I always kinda see myself as more of a single mum. :chin:
If your goal is to be a single mum, don't have kids... Single motherhood is when you have no choice as a perfect environment for kids consist of one dad and one mum so they can have the influence of both gender... If parents are good parents obviously...
Yeah I didn't mean its my goal in life...I'd rather have a steady relationship and have children but when I think about the future it doesn't look like thats gonna happen.
Ok cool, I did got the wrong idea there then, sorry...
Its alright, its my typing. I usually write in a jumble...much like how I speak. Need to engage my brain a bit more I think. :rolleyes:
No worries, same here tbh
I haven't seen her for ages but her partner was a total prick. I heard that they broke up shortly after because he was a serial cheater. Schmeh.
I laugh when I hear about 16/17 year olds getting 'engaged' because it's so far fetched to believe that you'll still be 'in love' years down the line. Marriage isn't for children - adults are barely able to deal with it lol.
Ilora x
Well i dont entirely agree with that, my mum and dad got together when she was 16, married by the time she was 19 and had 24 years of marrige together before they split up, and i know this is the case also with a lot of my friends parents that got together young.
Some people do make it, obviosuly not all of them but some do
I don't see the point in 16 years getting engaged when they have no intention of following through with it, as someone else said it just seems to be the thing to do after you have been together a while, and something else that everyone else seems to be doing.
People ask me and my boyfriend when we are going to get enaged after being together 3 years, and some of our friends are like ohhh well we got enaged after 8 months /two years/ whatever and you've still not done it, but we're just like, we're ok as we are doesn't mean we love each other any less but we've both said that in the near future we would rather get a house (and a dog ) together because the whole marrige thing isn't really important to us at the minute, don't see the point in doing something that wouldn't be happening for a few years yet.
aye, most of the people i talk to think there's something wrong with me cause i've been with mr. kaff 4 years and we aren't engaged. not sure why the problem would lie with me and not him :chin:
anyway, i think getting engaged young is less stupid than getting engaged when you've not been with the person long. everyone seems like the one when you've only been with them a year or two.
of course, you can have been with someone 10 years before you marry and it still not work out, but at least you'll have known enough about them beforehand to make an informed choice.
relationships aren't all-or-nothing. just because you don't get engaged after 10 seconds doesn't mean you can't stay happily together and get engaged in the future when you've got some knowledge to back up your feelings.
Each to their own though. I'd be terrified of proposing, what if things went pear shaped. I only want to do the whole propsal / marriage thing once. Having said that, the same goes with the sex thing yet that's come and gone. But either way, just my insight into things.
The getting engaged is fine it's just when you actually decide to tie the knot you need to know it's for real and not just the first flutters.
Even my ex NEVER felt like "the one" in the same way that my boyf does now, and that lasted 9 years.
knowing that someone is right for you is more than just feeling like you love someone.
i dont know, they're just 'rings'. not special wedding / engagement rings, just rings that kinda have the same style and we wear them all the time and its special to us two. they also serve as a reminder in some cases