Pregnant and don't know what to do

Former Member

I feel like a complete slapper. I have been having an affair with a married work colleague for the last few months. This is something I am so ashamed of but I guess I'm a weak person and I seem to allow people to use me. I tried to stop it every week but every week he came round and I stupidly gave in. I have now stopped the affair but realised my period was late so I took a pregnancy test.Guess what? It was positive.

I've got no-one to speak to about this, the only friends I have are work colleagues and there is no way I could tell them. My family would never speak to me again either.

I've been looking on the internet about abortions and have read up on the legal reasons that they can be given. I'm worried I wont be able to have one as I dont really fit any of the criteria.
Advice please?? :crying:

Former Member

Hello roo79, I don't know what to say really, as I've never been in a situation like yours. However, I think you need to take one step at a time. Trying to solve everything and by yourself is a pretty difficult thing to do.

First, have you considered going to a family planning clinic? I believe they will be able to offer you help such as talking about your options and offering support such as counselling if you need it. At the very least you'll have someone to talk to. Also I would consider going to the doctor's to have it confirmed. I'm no doctor, but as far as I understand, its a necessary step to take to be certain that there is an actual pregnancy, and also to check on your own health. The doctor should be able to advise you on your options as well.

Also, is there really no-one you can turn to for help, at least for emotional support, any relative, a friend? I know you said your family isn't an option, but sometimes in really critical times families surprise us... I don't know, maybe you can reconsider this at some point?

Um, what about the father of the baby? If you think he'll give you more trouble than support then by no means involve him, of course that's your choice but remember he is as much responsible as you are for the pregnancy, so if at any stage you need his help you're completely entitled to ask for it (again, only if you think it'll help you).

Also, don't beat yourself up over what happened, encouraging guilty feelings at this point won't do you any good. What's done is done and consider this: if its difficult enough to deal with this situation on your own, its gonna be even harder if you're carrying around a huge rucksack of shame/guilt on your shoulders. You don't need the extra weight, so do yourself a favour and stop scolding yourself. On the contrary, if you're by yourself in this, be your own ally and just focus on what's best for you now.

Lastly, there are some articles here on The Site that might help, a mod can usually link you to it.

ETA: I found this one , it has links to other places that can help as well.

I hope everything turns out well enough, and take care.

Former Member

are you in britain?
I dont see why you wouldnt be able to have a termination. its almost always possible to get one if youre within the time limit. mental health is subjective. They dont force you to go through with pregnancies you dont want.

Former Member

Yea they near enough give anyone who wants one an abortion as long as your sure about it but its a hard thing to go, and not a nice experiance, you will need some support though it!

Former Member

Technically you still need a good reason to have an abortion, but in reality as long as you don't leave it too late you can have one at your doctor's discretion