Sex with a new partner

Former Member

I've got a new boyfriend who I've been seeing for about 2 months (I've known him for about 4 years) and I was wondering how long into a relationship a couple should wait before having sex. He has a very high sex drive and we engage in oral/manual sex quite often but I was wondering how I could initiate sex with him as I want to up things another step. I found a box of condoms in his cupboard with the cellophane wrapper still intact that's been there for about a month so I have an idea that he's prepared and ready (and that he's not getting anything off anyone else lol). I don't want to rush into anything in worry that sex would push things along too quickly but at the same time I believe we are both ready and we both trust each other a lot. I am not very confident in the bedroom so any tips would be helpful!

Former Member

well since youre already sexually active with him orally and manually,im not sure what the big deal is about having vaginal sex.
its all sex.

Former Member

My bf and I lost our virginities together after nearly 3months fo being together. In hindsight and an outsiders opinion, maybe a bit soon, but we are still together and it didnt screw anything up.

People go by different rules for themselves then they do for society. I thought the way my best friend lost it was weird and too soon, and one of my friends said for me it was too fast too, but she lost hers to her bf at the time after nearly 2months, but her excuse was "ive done things with other guys before that, you've only had the one guy"
what a load of shit. Theres no time rules, and who cares if people pass judgement, who are they to judge cruelly?

Former Member

i started talking to my gf online in march of 2004. we had only spent 8 days total together at her house when we met the first time in june and then the 2nd day she came to my house in august of last year we had sex for the first time. we both feel it was a bit early as really we had only seen each other in person for 10 days total. we had known each other for over a year and a half though. it didn't screw anything up. anyway, um, yeah, i don't think there should be any rule. just talk about it and make sure you are both ready and want to level up.

Former Member

exactly. its entirely your choice.

Former Member

if you want to initiate sex just sit on his willy.

on a more serious note, there's no set time. me and my ex were going out for about a month before we had sex.

Former Member

Agree ^^^

There isn't a set time. I had sex within 4 months of my relationship (my first time too) Some people would wait longer, others not.

Guess it depends on who you are and how the relationship is going. (If there is one)

Former Member

lucifer devil wrote:

if you want to initiate sex just sit on his willy.

Hee! You crack me up.

Loads of people have already voiced my opinion - it's your own decision and since you seem to have made it then all's hunkydory. As for actually initiating sex, it's really not much of a task... it depends if you want to discuss it with him beforehand. If not, then next time you're intimate just go for it!

Former Member

lucifer devil wrote:

if you want to initiate sex just sit on his willy.

You're getting feisty in your old age.

Former Member

Cruel2BKind wrote:

You're getting feisty in your old age.

lol, sorry i can be a bit umm..what's the word at times!

i'm not feisty.

Former Member

You could always just say something like "have you got any condoms" im sure he will get the idea and will be more than willing to oblige :yes:

So long as you feel comfy with him then 2 months is a decent enough amount of time to wait before doing it, im sure he wont think its too soon and even if he does whats the chances of that bothering him

Former Member

I don't think it matters in the slightest. I never understand all this "have i made him wait long enough" stuff. Surely if you wanna have sex with someone and you feel ready then you do it. never seen the need for analysing it, its all wierd mind games in my opinion.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

If yo aint showin me you ma gurl! playin yo games yo ass is out! fo sho!

lol

(feelin loved up)

I think I speak for everyone when I say, WTF?!

Former Member

I think he ment that, he doesnt like it when i girl makes him wait without a good reason. If she isnt showing him that she is really his (by riding him like a pony) then she'll end up dumped.

Former Member

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Former Member

Zella wrote:

I think he ment that, he doesnt like it when i girl makes him wait without a good reason. If she isnt showing him that she is really his (by riding him like a pony) then she'll end up dumped.

Yeah I know, but he's like...as gangsta as the Fonz. No wonder they make him wait with that patter. :razz:

**helen**

rainbow brite wrote:

its entirely your choice.

:yes: Have to agree there. Also take a look at TheSite's article on sex with a new partner It sounds like you're pretty comfortable with your new partner, but you may find a few handy tips here to help boost your confidence

Former Member

I waited 3 weeks, that sounds sooooo bad, but we fell in love and hes moving to wales on saturday and we both knew wed regret it if we didnt have sex before he went.
I dont care what anyone else thinks all my freinds know im open about my sexual stuff. It looks like he is ready, you could either talk to him, or when ur fooling around ask him if he has any condoms and hell get the hint!
How old are you btw? and are you a virgin?
xxx

Former Member

I would tend to have sex with someone before I started going out with them. I find relationships tend to develop from a kind of casual relationship as I'm quite a laid-back person and prefer to do it that way. Then, if I really like them, and the sex is good, then I'll think about getting into a relationship if that's what they want.
I have done it the other way round and waited over a month before sleeping with someone, turned out they really were awful in bed and it really broke the relationship..as crude and shallow as that sounds.

It's totally an individual choice, but if you're both ready, I don't see a problem. Making such a big deal of sex just builds it up too much and makes it seem planned.

Former Member

Pink Soda wrote:

Making such a big deal of sex just builds it up too much and makes it seem planned.

:yes:

Former Member

jenni3089 wrote:

I waited 3 weeks, that sounds sooooo bad, but we fell in love and hes moving to wales on saturday and we both knew wed regret it if we didnt have sex before he went.
I dont care what anyone else thinks all my freinds know im open about my sexual stuff. It looks like he is ready, you could either talk to him, or when ur fooling around ask him if he has any condoms and hell get the hint!
How old are you btw? and are you a virgin?
xxx

I'm 18 and he's 19 and we were in the same year at secondary school. I'm not a virgin and nor is he before we got together and I knew he was good in bed from what we did before having sex. Well I slept with him a couple of days ago and it just happened cos we went to Ministry of Sound and got drunk then went back to his so I think that helped! It has been a regular occurance since lol

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

The world won't end if you have sex with your bf straight away or never, it does NOT matter. Who told you it did!?

Just do it when you feel ready, do other peoples opinions actually matter?

Alright alright.. I was only asking for a bit of advice. Don't get your Y-fronts in a twist. :razz: