ex trouble

Former Member

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Former Member

My advice- don't read people's emails, um invasion of privacy? You either trust him or you don't. The emails give you no reason to distrust him, he says someone else looks hot- and? You reading his emails however does give him reason to distrust you!

Former Member

Ooh tricky. I did the same thing when I was 16, I went into my ex's account and read the emails he'd been sending his new girlfriend (she was a girl in our group and I always had a feeling they'd been just waiting for the breakup to happen).
I read them and wasn't happy but in my case, there was nothing I could say because we were no longer a part of each other's lives. You could subtly say, "you know that girl...whats her face, do you still speak to her?"
Alternatively, just leave it and let him be. It doesn't sound like he's doing anything wrong, people flirt. See how you feel about it in a few days - tomorrow is Valentine's Day! You've got him, she doesn't.

Former Member

^^^ much nicer advice, I'd go with the 'leave it a few days' rather than my meany reply of 'it's your own fault for snooping'. lol. And I'm not even in a bad mood; I'm in a very good mood actually.

Former Member

looking at somebody emails is a sure way of ending up feeling as you do. My advise is dont look at them again. Wait a few days see how things goes and syctherchick said bring it up subtly if you really feel the need. But ppl do flirt, i flirt loads with one of my female work mates and a few friends but its just flirting nothing will ever happen
I must admit i did this myself, but that was to get the proof wife was cheating, with one of her co-workers (which i got)

Former Member

You shouldn't have been looking in the first place. My advice is don't tell him what you have seen as it will break his trust in you and might mean the end of your relationship.

**helen**

Hi Kate,
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling insecure about your boyfriend and his ex since you read his emails - it's probably a good idea to learn from this experience if you can and take on board what the other's have said already. Have a look at our article on Snooping if you haven't already. I hope you start to feel happier about the situation soon

Former Member

Not telling him might be the easy way out to not have an arguement and other troubles, but at the end of the day do you want to be in a relationship where you keep secret from each other?

You did something you shouldn't have done, but it is done. Not telling him would mean you are not honest to him and therefor you can not be trusted.

If you tell him it show that you know you did something you shouldn't have done, but by coming forward with it you show that your are truly honest to him and that he can trust you.

Trust is based on honesty and true, not on lie and hidden facts.