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Sorry.another thread bout girls..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well........valentines is coming up and again I`ll most likely be alone as usual.. :crying:
But...theres a girl at the library who works there who I find quite attractive to say the least..........
Problem is I reckon shes older than me(at least early 20`s)and Im only 18 in march.
Reading through this it already sounds like a lost cause (plus Iv only seen her there twice).
My mates view whos seen her is that shes waaaaayy out of my league and I wouldnt stand a chance which is most likely right.
Oh well,I probably wouldnt say anything to her anyway and I guess I can cope with being alone again for valentines.
Its my 17th one so I should be used to it by now!!
Would any of you guys do anything......I dont want to look stupid because I go there quite often.
But...theres a girl at the library who works there who I find quite attractive to say the least..........
Problem is I reckon shes older than me(at least early 20`s)and Im only 18 in march.Reading through this it already sounds like a lost cause (plus Iv only seen her there twice).
My mates view whos seen her is that shes waaaaayy out of my league and I wouldnt stand a chance which is most likely right.
Oh well,I probably wouldnt say anything to her anyway and I guess I can cope with being alone again for valentines.
Its my 17th one so I should be used to it by now!!
Would any of you guys do anything......I dont want to look stupid because I go there quite often.
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Comments
People always give the "if you don't ask, you'll never know" advice, but I don't think that's very useful, especially when you're low on confidence. It's find it's better to just chat to people you like to see if you have anything in common first (you can usually tell fairly quickly whether you'll connect) then use the "if you don't ask, you'll never know". If you take the approach of just asking out anyone you like the look of because "what have you got to lose" then you either lose all your confidence because 99 times out of 100 they'll say no for one reason or another, or you'll go out with a string of people for a few dates each because you didn't get the time to get to know them before deciding you liked them, and realised after a short while that you didn't connect.
I reckon it can also be quite intimidating (for some girls) to go out with someone they've only spoken to once or twice, just the two of you. Maybe you could mention an event or club you're going to this weekend, and ask her to come with her friends. Then ask her for her number so you can meet up when you get there. That way if it turns out you don't get on amazingly well, you both have an easy escape. But I don't think suggesting a romantic valentines meal is the right way to go (by the way, clubs on valentines night are the perfect place to meet single girls).
I totally agree with your advice, I would never agree to a date with someone who I didn't know, even if they were the most gorgeous person on the Earth.
I think chatting to her (without being too forceful about the fact that you fancy the pants off her) is the best thing to do. As for the 'she's out of your league comment' I think that is total bull and very unhelpful, your friends are probably saying that cos they like her.
I once went out with a guy that I didn't really fancy (just going off how attractive he was) but after a few dates I fancied him so much because he was just so funny and great to be around. He got better looking each time we met. I don't believe there are 'leagues' of people and I would never rule anyone out.
It is one of those "what's the worst that can happen scenarios" and the worst that can happen is that she ridicules you mercilessly - if she did/does that then I think it would give you a fair idea of the kind of person she was, and you'd then feel you had a lucky escape. I'm sure she wouldn't react in that way, anyhow, it'd be far more likely that she'd be pleased or feel embarassed and awkward. I see I'm With Stupid's point, but shy bairns really do get nowt in this life. She's not going to initiate contact with you, unless it's to accost you over some overdue book fines.
The only thing I do have reservations about is your age. I know people say it's nothing but a number (and two, three years seems like nothing), but I think a lot of 20 year old woman would be very hesitant to get involved with an 18 year old. Obviously it varies in individual circumstances, though. I'd also tell your friend to can his "out of your league" comments, because that's unhelpful at best.
As far as I'm aware, you only live once...
Even the guys that are good at chatting up girls will admit that even somewhere like a bar, 9 times out of 10 you won't be able to get a strangers number. Even when you've got it, that doesn't neccesarily mean that you'll get to go out with her (she might just give it you cos she's drunk or to get rid of you). And once you go out with her, it won't often end up being someone that you really connect with. Someone who's lacking in confidence would have killed themselves by this point. :eek:
Though you may be a bit young for this girl, you never know until you try. But keep your cool and take whatever answer you get on the chin!
That's debatable. He had the patter though, which was what won me over.
I probably never would've agreed if it'd been in a bar, you're right about the chances of success there, I think! Or at least the chances of number leading to date leading to relationship.
Vicky's right, "Mr Death" - be cool and take it on the chin, whatever happens...you couldn't ask for more straightforward advice!
Think you're missing the point a bit though. You shouldn't approach girls with the thought that it will lead somewhere, that you'll go out with her if only she's interested. That's putting far too much pressure on yourself and you're already placing her above you...no one wants to go out with someone beneath them and if you consider yourself beneath her then why shouldn't she?
You go out and chat to girls, have a laugh, get to meet people. Your not trying to connect with every pretty girl you talk to - your having a good time and if in the process you start talking to someone you get on well with and she seems interested you ask for her number or drag her into a less well lit area of the bar/club
But you're right, it's all about increasing your circle of friends. Obviously the more friends you have, the more chance that one of them will introduce you to your next girlfriend.
In this specific case, if you didn't want to ask her to go somewhere with her friends (like I suggested earlier), I reckon you could still have a chat, find out what clubs she goes to and make an effort to go to them (I don't know where you live. Obviously this wouldn't work in London or somewhere). Then if you see her out, you can approach her without any issue and if you don't then you'll still have a good night out and might meet someone else you like.
I'm in awe, I'd turn into a heap of jelly. I wish I was that spontaneous but I just couldn't date someone I had only just met. Hope you have a great time!
The mention of "dating someone" has made me nervous now, haha. I'm just looking at it as a few drinks and a natter, I'm glad to meet new people, and in terms of men - the bar is set fairly low after the last one.
Oh, and cheers, I hope I have a great time too! :thumb:
If you don't buy a ticket, you won't win the jackpot.
Iv been laid up in bed all week with tonsilitis so all Iv attracted is strepsils!!
I dont think I`ll bother with miss library though and just wait till Im 18 and go to bars and clubs.........only problem is Iv only got 1 friend and no money.... :banghead: then again Iv still got no confidence.
Must try to work on that though somehow................ :chin:
I was told by one place theyd phone me up for an interview......filled in an aplication for another and all the job centre has is jobs in great farking yarmouth!!! :banghead:
Im in luton.............
you'll find that things improve then.
Its really bugging me cos Im soooooooooooo BORED and just want to go out and do stuff and meet people......
Very true
trust me, she'll probably be flattered and yeah, she might say no, but hey at least you would've tried!
and don't worry about the age gap....this really sweet 17 year old asked me out (and i'm 21!!) i was pretty flattered because he was a really nice guy. it didn't even occur to me that he was 4 years younger than me.the only reason i said no was because i was seeing someone else at the time..
if you can handle 'no' as an answer then yes, definitley you should go for it, because there's also a chance that the answer will be 'yes'!!