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Bullying Boss

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is partly a rant and partly a call for some advice. I'm really worried about my boyfriend. He works for a small company which employs just a handful of people plus there is the boss. The boss is only in his mid 20's and is from what I can tell a complete control freak. The business is really lucrative and therefore the boss is really wealthy. My problem is that this guy sounds like he is bullying all his staff...perhaps not continously but targeting different people at different times.

When my boyfriend had been there for just a few months he had his review. The boss was happy with his work, but told my boyfriend he wasn't a team player and that his job was at risk from this. The bf not really understanding what was meant by this comment asked how he could be more of a team player...the answer he was given was to make more cups of tea for people. In my opinion this is an extremely trivial thing, not a sackable offence, however this is what the bf had to do in order to keep his job.

A few months ago they went on a team building day, with go karting and such like. My boyfriend being a complete car fanatic loved racing around the track and ended up winning. The boss had been watching from the sidelines with his girlfriend...when the lads had finished racing my bf went over to the boss to tell him what a great time he was having. Before he could say anything the boss walked straight up to him and shouted in his face..."you inconsiderate bastard!" The boss was upset because the bf hadn't let someone else win. Again I think that this is really shocking behaviour, I wouldn't expect that from someone I was related to let alone my boss. This really upset my bf and caused him a lot of stress.

They have all just gone on a company holiday, just two days before the holiday my boyfriend was really sick with a stomach bug. I called the boss to let him know that my bf was sick and wouldn't be in work the following day, that was fine not a problem, the boss offered to move the flight if need be, again this was fine a nice thing to offer, but I simply mentioned that in case it was flu the bf would not be over that in a few days, but that would take a few weeks. To my shock this guy starts arguing down the phone with me saying that flu doesn't take 3 weeks to get rid of and get over! I explained that I've done workplace first aid training and know from experience that this can certainly be the case. He responded I have been trained in the medical profession and I know how long it takes to get over flu. I honestly couldn't believe he was arguing about something so pathetic. I can off the phone fuming...he made me feel so stupid!

Anyway my bf did make it on holiday, he drove another workmate up to the hotel they were staying in before the flight and met everyone else there as well. I spoke to him yesterday to find out if he was having a good time and feeling better. But just as I suspected the boss has been a complete nightmare. My bf and his workmate were told to be at the hotel by 2.30, and for whatever reason this came up in conversation, and the boss said that he told them to be there by 2.15. Not that it was neither here nor there as they were on holiday at this point. Anyway........the boss tells my bf to come outside, and this guy starts shouting in his face, threatening to send him home, saying things like "i'll pay for your cab to the airport and you can sort out your own flight home and i expect you in the office on monday morning as per your contract." He also threatened the other guy that my bf gave a lift too. They basically had to say the boss was in the right and they were in the wrong

This guy is seriously controlling he does this sort of thing all the time, to all his staff, he is always shouting at his staff and shouting at people down the phone. I know that he has had some sort of anger management as he used to knock his ex gf around! But my biggest worry and what makes me feel most uncomfortable is that we have bought a house which we will be moving into shortly, this house is not in the local area and not a well known place, yet my bf's boss has decided to buy a house 20 doors down the road. That means he will be drinking in our local, making friends with our friends and basically this feels like a complete invasion on our lives. I feel like this person is really quite psychotic, he has to be the best, he has to be right, he has to be the one listened to, he has to be the one in control.

So basically I'm worried about my boyfriend being stuck in the south of france and i'm worried about his future as an employee of this company. I think he will leave if it gets too much, but the problem now is that even if he does leave, this guy will always be there living down the road, its really worying me, even though it might sound like something quite small! Sorry to going on about this for so long and thanks for reading this far. I don't know what I want in terms of comments, has anyone else experienced bullying from a boss perhaps?


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, but Radio 1 are doing a thing about bullying at work, they have a page here http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/work/rights/sticky_bully.shtml
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Pink_Angel wrote:
    its really worying me, even though it might sound like something quite small!

    It's not a small thing, as your work takes up a considerable part of your life.
    I've not experienced bullying from a boss, but have worked for a small company that I was happy to leave.

    If I were him, I'd look for (and hopefully get) another job, and leave as soon as I could.

    What industry does your boyfriend work in?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He works in the computing industry, the company is mostly made up of quite young men in their 20's and this one girl...who is the bosses girlfriend. The radio one page is good I might advise him to start keeping a diary of events.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gawd thats terrible :eek2: He sounds like a right nutter.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    Gawd thats terrible :eek2: He sounds like a right nutter.
    I know! :crying:
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