Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

military

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
---

Comments

  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Posts: 13,332 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Nope but I gotta mate who's in the MEchanised.

    Whassis to do with relationships? Worried about him being unfaithful? Trust me, he's just as worried about you doing the same! Just keep the trust there, keep loyal.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My boyfriend was in the army as a soldier.

    The worst thing about it was that he never knew in advanced when he would get the evening off work or the weekend off so it was really difficult for planning things together.

    He didn't have to do the war thing though as he is Brazilian and they aren't exactly a politically active country.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My fella is in Iraq at the moment. Doesn't get back til May. How shit is it? :(

    He phoned me tonight... and like, when I got off the phone I had a little cry on my Dad. It's just rubbish.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My fella is in Iraq at the moment. Doesn't get back til May. How shit is it? :(

    He phoned me tonight... and like, when I got off the phone I had a little cry on my Dad. It's just rubbish.
    I can't imagine how bad it must feel to have a loved one go off to a war zone for work.

    Hope things go ok :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote:
    I can't imagine how bad it must feel to have a loved one go off to a war zone for work.

    Hope things go ok :)

    I hope you never have to! I've just spent a week in tears since he went back. It's daft, if I let myself think about it too much I get upset - but I can't think of anything else!

    Thanks mate x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One of my bro's is in the Army and is back for 10 days R&R from south of Basra (he get's helicopter'd from Basra to the base and has to sit on his helmet!!!)... What you have to remember is that they signed their name and accepted 'the Queen's Shilling', it's hard to accept but they knew the responsibility that they would have when they signed up.....

    If they go about their job in a responsible manner then they minimise the risk, it's never 100% safe but they're trained for it and it's expected of them. I myself am not in the forces but my dad was, my mom was, my other brother is a Royal Marine Commando and my sister is in the RAF.. They have all been out in warzones (well except my mom as she was in the Navy eon's ago)..

    It's not easy to accept at times but you have to be supportive of the life they chose, if they know your upset then it might play on their minds and distract them.. Put on a brave face Katelynx and everyone else and support your boys/girls... :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't say I've been there but I can say that my country (Greece) being small and surrounded by quite a number of nations who are a little less than friendly has a law that obliges men to go to the army.
    We have to go there either right after school (if don't go to a uni) or right after the uni. So, naturally, I have quite a few friends who are currently in the army.

    Those that don't have gf's well when they get out.... you know clubs and stuff and whatever comes up - if you know what I mean.

    Those that do have gf's are another story. You see when you're in there you get everybody yelling at you, if you screw up you take the whole unit with you - thus they'll hate you - and so on.

    This kind of pressure is unbearable if you don't have someone out there who cares for you and who you care for. Most guys are really worried what their gf's are doing out there but from my experience most remain faithful. Thing is if a guy has a gf and he's in the army he'll think of her every 5 minutes at least.

    What plays out worst is gals dumping their guys while the latter are in the service. Quite a few have killed themselves. While we don't like to admit it we're very dependant on the women in our lives - especially gf's - and sometimes this dependance is the only thing keeping you sane in a place where you have to go through the same sh!t every day etc.

    OK, enough ranting from me - I don't have something constructive to say.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I appreciate my guy signed up knowing his duties. He also signed up almost 5 years ago - before the Iraq conflict had started. Personally I don't think our troops should still be there, but they are and he is. It's tough shit. But it doesn't make it any easier for anyone involved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea, my boyfriend's in the army now aswell. He hasn't be on any operational tours yet though so I'm so glad we haven't been through it yet. But having a loved one go off to war must be awful, and I have every sympathy for you! :( . It;s nice to know someone else who has a guy in the army though!

    Thanks sugoruyo for that side of it, I do tend to concentrate on my side of it more, worrying about what he's doing, if he's met anyone else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well there's a whole lot of other guys -and gals too actually- to meet there. Now if they just become buddies and play football and video games together or they choose to get steamy in the showers is another business.

    Thing is if you're there for him emotionally he shouldn't need his friends to play that role and thus.... well you know - it's happened quite a few times in my knowledge.
    Remember army is an emotionally stressful experience.

    However if he does actually get it on with someone else don't be too fast to judge. Just keep in mind that sometimes the pressure becomes too much for some people and they may need to blow some steam one way or another.
    Others do drugs, others drink - a lot, others smoke -a lot, some get in fights, some others do sports, while some choose to drive fast - although that's not much of an option in the army, and generally do quite extreme things - including having sex with someone other than their "official" lover.
    That doesn't mean that they're "cheating" in the usual way.
    While it should be avoided it's something that happens and if you're a straight guy in the army and there's a good looking gal in the camp that seems to be interested in getting down 'n' dirty with you when you really need to get some pressure off your chest it's quite hard to resist - in fact he could even be thinking of you.
    This is a bit far-fetched but it's actually not that far from reality.

    All the training, same stuff every day, same people all day/every day -no privacy, the control of the higher ranking officers and everything else just messes with your head before you know it. It can cloud your judgement pretty fast so when it happens you don't actually think about it, it just happens. Then you slowly come to see the results of your actions and realise that.... OOOOOPS! :( I screwed up - if she finds out she's gonna dump me... and quite rightly so.

    Just giving another perspective - I've heard quite a few army stories. In fact some from people who went to Kossovo and such and it was really hard. So be careful how you treat him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I still think that's cheating. You get pressures in all aspects of life whatever your job or lifestyle, so being under those kind of conditions is no excuse for it. But I understand that some people might take it as an opportunity to cheat, as there's little or no chance of their gf or bf back home finding out. Which is something I worry about quite a bit, because I find it difficult to trust people, however much he reassures me, I always have that element of doubt.

    What do you mean, 'be careful how you treat him'?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They might very well be under pressure...but at the end of the day cheating is cheating, end of. IMO it cannot be justified by saying "my job is stressful, it's my way of letting off steam!"

    My job is stressful, i'm dealing with sick kids everyday...but i dont think that means i need to cheat on my boyfriend...anybody who does cannot love or respect their partner that much :grump:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to bump this thread! I was just in the search about military schools and found this thread. Actually, I've no desire to join the U.S. military, but I've always admired certain traits that members of the military have, and wished I was able to have the same.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is a UK based website, so will likely be very different to views regarding the US.
This discussion has been closed.