friends?

Former Member

Hi

maybe this topic has already been discussed somewhere here (i'm new so tell me if it has ) but just wondering what everyone thinks about whether or not two people of opposite sex really can be "just friends"??
Also, if you do take it further one time with one of your friends (e.g. sleeping with a close friend when drunk or something), can you go back to being just clsoe friends or will it forever be awkward?

:wave:

Former Member

2 of my best mates are male, i used to go out with one of them and the other has been with my best mate for coming up to a year

Former Member

You can be best friends with people of the opposite sex, and you can do so without wanting to screw them.

It's something a lot of men just don't get.

Former Member

guys always want more than just friendship. in my expereince anyway.

Former Member

I have a lot of female friends an dI must admit that the thought of having sex with them has crossed my mind but thats as far as it would go, just old thoughts.

Former Member

Felix Da Housecat wrote:

I have a lot of female friends an dI must admit that the thought of having sex with them has crossed my mind but thats as far as it would go, just old thoughts.

:yes:

I wouldn't get involved with a friend. Well, unless I fancied them...i do occasionly fall for female friends. When that happens though I usually quickly realise that nothing more than friendship will happen. Usually i try to be honest about it to. I feel that if they are my friends then they wont mind.

Former Member

One of my best friends in the world is a girl and, despite the fact she continues to get fitter by the day, I think my window of opportunity disappeared about 5 years ago. Then again, I probably wouldn't want to as it would completely shaft our friendship.

Former Member

i'd say that i have more female friends than male. i've thought about one or two in more than friendship but i know that it would never happen, as it would feel strange after and as thunderstruck said shaft the friendship. Apart from two of my male friends I find it easier to talk to my female friends.

Used to have great fun at uni, going to the union with 10-15 sexy young ladies and me being the only guy. I'd always get a few blokes either try to start a fight or ask what my secret was. and some of the girls buy me a drink and ask for my number. but all i was doing was having a laugh with friends.

Former Member

I think if both parties have a partner that they are in a serious relationship with, then there is no problem. But I am usually a bit suspicious of girls and guys being really close friends, mainly because it always seems to be the case that either one would like to jump into bed with the other if they were given the opportunity, or that they were previously boyfriend and girlfriend, and usually at some point one ends up having a massive crush on the other.

I'm not saying there is *always* something sexual involved but I would feel uncomfortable being really close to someone who thought about getting me into bed. I do have male friends but would be wary about getting really close as I'd be afraid I was giving them the wrong message or something.

Former Member

yes you can "just be friends".
I am lucky to have 3 such friends that are female and i've known them for about 10-12 years now. 2 became mates after their relationships were on the rocks (and finally ended) - they were keen for a male ear and even tho' they're good looking girls (too good for me if i'm honest) nothing happened.
we've all been good friends since and i have attended one of their weddings with the 2nd one nrxt year.
A third girl i had a fling with whilst she was still attatched but I refused to go the whole way with them through guilt. That person has remained a good mate for about 5 years now.

I had a great mate about 15 years ago that i had a plutonic relationship with right up until she emigrated to NZ. We went for it just before she left - it was the most memorable night ive ever had and ive never seen her since !

Mates i've gone the whole way with I don't really got on with anymore...

I'm currently in a reletionship and my partner has no worries about me going to dinner with someone of the opposite sex that i've known for 10 years (and vice versa)

Former Member

yes, of course they can just be friends. but like lipsy said, i tend to get the feeling they want more. but i guess that's just in my experience. most of my male friends are people i've been seeing or something.

Former Member

Absolutely, I am a girl with mostly male mates, because, lets face it, they are so much easier to get on with and talk to, in my experience anyway!! I only have a couple of good mates that are female, and they are lads girls too, so it's all good I think guys are, in general, far better craic, and just easier all round to get on with...

What really annoys me about opposing gender friendships is that the two of you are always stuck in different rooms if staying anywhere together...it's like hello best mates here...nothing is gonna happen!! It's so goddam annoyin!!

I've never taken it any further with ANY of my guy mates and they would never dream of tryin it on with me, they are all protective and look out for me, which is cool

Former Member

one of my best female friends i had feeling for when i first meet her at uni. She was/is this attractive completely mad girl who lived in the flat above mine in halls. we were always going out for drinks with our other friends. But after a few weeks i decided that i only wanted to be her friend. I'm very protective over her, and she is of me. never really liked any of her boyfriends but that could be cause they treated her like SHIT, unlike her current one whos a great laugh. not seen her for about 6months but when she found out what my wife had done she was on the phone. i'm now spending most of the christmas and new year holiday peroid with her and her boyfriend.
Ok yes i had feelings for her and wanted to sleep with her when we first meet. but now i would never think about her like that, ever when we're shopping in ann summers for a new vibe or underwear, which she tries on and asks what i think.

Former Member

I have quite a few female friends and I've snogged a few without it being to awkward, just a laugh like. Don't think I could sleep with one though.

Former Member

flighty wrote:

whether or not two people of opposite sex really can be "just friends"??

:yes: = the obvious answer. unless you only think that people of the opposite sex are only good for f**king and then the answer would be :no:

...

as for the awkwardness - it totally depends on the people involved.

Former Member

I would be more than slightly worried if people were only friends with the same sex for the sake of friendship. It just doesn't seem natural. Men and women can be friends. Some may be after sex but in most true friendships, they are not.