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What To Do?!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I posted a while ago about someone i started seeing who cheated only after a few weeks. Later thinking on it i realised that i had already brought something bad into it from my previous relationship! And really i guess i was partly to blame for setting this bad tone!
I took him gay clubbing and a guy tried it on with him. I got jealous, so when a girl approached me i kissed her. This occured a while before he cheated.
He has said that he has never wanted to build something before with a bi person. That im the first bi hes met and that it confuses him.
I know i was probably just asking for it the way i acted in the beginning, but i generally dont act like this and believe that if you are in a relationship with someone and cheat then you may as well be single.
He apologised to me and i blanked him for a week pretty much, but in the end i chose to give it another shot. Im even possibly travelling pretty far this holiday to stay with him for a few days.
Im just really confused now! Have i taken him back too quickly? Should i just leave it? So many questions going round my head! Ive made mistakes too before though. And i have realised that i have to clear up a few issues from my past relationship still. This i am genuinely planning on doing and have told him this. I apologised for the way i acted too and have explained some things to him about the confusion in my previous relationship.
I just cant feel paranoid if im going to be with him! I have problems trusting people as it is.
I spoke to my ex about the situation. I think he reckoned im mad. Maybe i am, but then i guess its kinda stupid to take advice from an ex who caused me so much confusion anyway!
After hanging around the gay scene for a long time with my ex boyfriend i just cant get out of the habit of it. I feel at home there now. Thing is when i met my ex i was actually looking for a girlfriend. I remember my ex once saying that we should stay away from the gay clubs to save our relationship. Now i feel ive become like him and im telling myself that in order to make this work i need to stay away from them.
Most people have told me stay well away, find someone else, but i was instantly attracted to this guy when i met him and had this 'feeling' about him.
One part of my brain is saying go for it, take a chance! The other is saying your mental, stay away! I just feel insane, like im constantly going round in circles!
I took him gay clubbing and a guy tried it on with him. I got jealous, so when a girl approached me i kissed her. This occured a while before he cheated.
He has said that he has never wanted to build something before with a bi person. That im the first bi hes met and that it confuses him.
I know i was probably just asking for it the way i acted in the beginning, but i generally dont act like this and believe that if you are in a relationship with someone and cheat then you may as well be single.
He apologised to me and i blanked him for a week pretty much, but in the end i chose to give it another shot. Im even possibly travelling pretty far this holiday to stay with him for a few days.
Im just really confused now! Have i taken him back too quickly? Should i just leave it? So many questions going round my head! Ive made mistakes too before though. And i have realised that i have to clear up a few issues from my past relationship still. This i am genuinely planning on doing and have told him this. I apologised for the way i acted too and have explained some things to him about the confusion in my previous relationship.
I just cant feel paranoid if im going to be with him! I have problems trusting people as it is.
I spoke to my ex about the situation. I think he reckoned im mad. Maybe i am, but then i guess its kinda stupid to take advice from an ex who caused me so much confusion anyway!
After hanging around the gay scene for a long time with my ex boyfriend i just cant get out of the habit of it. I feel at home there now. Thing is when i met my ex i was actually looking for a girlfriend. I remember my ex once saying that we should stay away from the gay clubs to save our relationship. Now i feel ive become like him and im telling myself that in order to make this work i need to stay away from them.
Most people have told me stay well away, find someone else, but i was instantly attracted to this guy when i met him and had this 'feeling' about him.
One part of my brain is saying go for it, take a chance! The other is saying your mental, stay away! I just feel insane, like im constantly going round in circles!
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Comments
Yeah i guess thats true. Im just not sure if its worth explaining anything more to him or not. Should i risk confusing him more?
Hi Fairy,
It sounds like you feel very confused indeed and understandably considering the tough ride you have had with relationships in the past. Before jumping back into this relationship it's worth considering whether or not you want this relationship for the right reasons.
Take a look at this article on rebound relationships You may find that you want to spend time getting to know this guy better and even hang out more as friends for a while before getting into anything serious as it sounds as if you are both a bit unsure of each other.
:yes:!!
Only you can decide whether the gay scene is a positive thing for you or not - perhaps its just an environment where you can hang out with friends but not boyfriends.
Perhaps you could show this new guy TheSites article on Bisexual myths to help him understand where you are coming from and to reassure him that the incident when you kissed the girl isn't a recurring habit.
Take your time, get to know him better and perhaps talk to him about taking things slowly. Then if you decide he is not right for you then it will probably be easier to move on.
Good luck
I'm likin your attitude - take it easy :thumb:
well if thats true then yo u are in the wrong, though he shouldnt have cheated on you later on in the relationship.
I'm just trying to understand what happened.
I hope it works out for you.
Yeah is very confusing i know lol! Cheers though. Ive no idea what will happen next...guess its kinda exciting in a way. The whole thing actually makes me laugh when i think about it. Dont know if i can be bothered though! There is a language barrier as well, which doesnt help. I still like the guy, just havnt decided if i have the energy for it all really. He probably thinks im nuts.