Opinions please

Former Member

Its my 21st birthday soon and a few weeks ago i invited my friends from home (im at uni and only see them when i visit home) to go out for a meal and then have a fancy dress pub crawl.

So i find out when everyone is available and they all said friday night is best for them.I sort out my fancy dress outfit and arrange for us to meet up at 7pm, go for a meal and then have plenty of time to go pub crawling.

And what happens today? None of them can make it out before 8pm which means we dont have time for a meal.

and what else....they're not dressing up!!

I really dont get it. When your invited to a *fancy dress* occasion, and you say thay yes you would like to come, your also agreeing to dress up, no? and if you dont want to dress up then you decline the invitation, yes? You dont just casually say the night before that your not dressing up, which is what they have done, i find it SO rude!

Im feeling so let down, am i being unreasonable for feeling this way? Should they be making the effort? These have been my friends for about ten years. Im in the frame of mind to just call it all off and not bothering with them any more.

Any opinions welcome about these issues, cheers

Former Member

Yeah it was a bit rude, especially as it's for your birthday. Just let them know that you are that nobody seemed to make any effort with regards to the costume. When friends let you down it's horrible. Just make sure you let them know that you are upset by it or whatever, so that they won't be like that in future.

Just go out and try and have fun. Oh, and happy birthday for whenever it was/is.

Former Member

how rude!

I would be well annoyed!

Former Member

If they did not like the idea of the fancy dress or that they could not make it until 8, then they could have told you when you first asked them, that way you could have changed your plans and not be let down at the last minute.

Anyway Happy 21st Birthday :birthday:

Former Member

my mates let me down all the time. well, the ones i have known for years. the best friends i have seem to be people ive met online and see only occasionally. i only see my "real" friends occasionally too now cos they never bother with me anymore....

if i were in your position, id call it off but that's not the best thing to do cos you'llmaybe end up just sitting on your own thinking about how shite your friends are to you and get depressed (that's what i'd do and have done )

Former Member

I lot of people don't like doing fancy dress, especially out on the town where the risk of getting your head kicked in by locals increases exponentially. Maybe you could tone it down and just get everyone to come weraing a funny hat or something...

And I don't see why you can't have a meal at 8?

Former Member

Kentish wrote:

I lot of people don't like doing fancy dress, especially out on the town where the risk of getting your head kicked in by locals increases exponentially. Maybe you could tone it down and just get everyone to come weraing a funny hat or something...

And I don't see why you can't have a meal at 8?

we can have a meal at 8 but by the time we have eaten there wont be time for a pub crawl because they are all pissing off home early

As for people not liking fancy dress, if they didnt like the idea then why reply to my invitation with "yes i'd love to come, will look forward to it, im coming as < insert fancy dress idea >"

I had no problems with people not wanting to do fancy dress, in fact if a single person had said no to fancy dress then i would have changed it to a normal non fancy dress pub crawl. But i invited everyone three weeks ago and they tell me the night before that they are coming in normal clothes.

Former Member

That's gotta suck hun. I can sympathise with you tho - anything I plan to do with my friends usually falls through. I even told my mates to keep my b'day weekend free 3 months before hand and they were all 'yeah i'll be free'. Come two weeks before hand and they're busy all of a sudden - even tho I always keep whatever weekend free for them when they want me to go see them. Now a days I just don't bother organising anything.

Former Member

Blah wrote:

we can have a meal at 8 but by the time we have eaten there wont be time for a pub crawl because they are all pissing off home early

As for people not liking fancy dress, if they didnt like the idea then why reply to my invitation with "yes i'd love to come, will look forward to it, im coming as < insert fancy dress idea >"

I had no problems with people not wanting to do fancy dress, in fact if a single person had said no to fancy dress then i would have changed it to a normal non fancy dress pub crawl. But i invited everyone three weeks ago and they tell me the night before that they are coming in normal clothes.

I understand your disappointment, but you can still enjoy a pub crawl in normal clothes and celebrate your birthday with your friends. Maybe they've been busy and not had time to sort out a costume. There's nothing worse than a piss poor attempt at fancy dress.

Former Member

Kentish wrote:

I understand your disappointment, but you can still enjoy a pub crawl in normal clothes and celebrate your birthday with your friends. Maybe they've been busy and not had time to sort out a costume. There's nothing worse than a piss poor attempt at fancy dress.

Yep i can still enjoy my birthday in normal clothes, and fair enough if they hadnt had time (3 weeks notice in fact) Im just extremely pissed off that they couldnt at least let me know.

Call me old fashioned but i find the whole thing really rude.

It doesnt help that a similar thing happened last year. i arranged for us to go out then about an hour before i was leaving to meet them i get a text saying that they cant come out to meet me and the others but are going to the pub (which they go to twice per week anyway) if i would like to come! The cheek of it!

Im especially miffed this year though because its a special birthday, i wanted to celebrate this one as past birthdays have backfired

Maybe i need to accept that they're just not the sort of friends i need and that i need to make new ones.

Or maybe i need to learn to stop arranging stuff with them because i will get let down.

Former Member

It does sound like you need better friends tbh.

Former Member

Kentish wrote:

It does sound like you need better friends tbh.

yes.

If you've committed to someones special event you don't just change your mind half an hour before and all arrange to meet somewhere else - it's rude. They don't sound like very good friends tbh.