My Mind

Former Member

About a month ago I went down to see my father, we haven’t been close as he left my mother when I was about 5 and we don’t see and speak much often. All was fine, On the last night he had a couple of sips to drink, his new GF was their at the time. He started pulling me about with my arms, and he told me I must get a job in a month or he will stop the benefit funds he has been paying my mother. Now I got upset and his GF was telling him that it was not the way and that I am a good kid and so on. The following day we made up put I still get angry and upset, we drove to my mothers house and dropped me off, he was about to go around Europe with his GF, he said he would pop in on the way back and see how I was. About 2 weeks later he sent me a Postcard and said that he will be home in a few days, days passed and turned to be a fortnight, and he phone me up last night and said he had been back for a few days and that he was going away for a bit (normally month or two). He also wanted me to spend X-mas at his place and his mum (my Nan) but I said possibly and may stay up here (I have always stayed up here for X-mas). He also enticed me down with a X-Box 360 but I said ill have to tell him later.

I haven’t got any grades to my name (GCSE: F, E, D and one C) I have never know what to do as a carer, so I have been working part time for a supermarket (12hours a week) until I know what to do, my whole family wants me to get a proper 9-5, 6days a week job. But I tell them that it is hard for me and I don’t know what to do and don’t want to be stuck in a job I don’t like and would hate. I have been slowly working a few hours here (24+ hours extra this month). Ok I can work at the supermarket for a few hours at a time but it kills me if I spend longer that 5 hours.

The bigger thing that is on my mind and people will hate me for.

As some of you may know I wrote along time about this girl I liked etc, liked her for 5 or so years and didn’t have the balls to ask her out for reasons etc.
I still haven’t asked her out but I am deeper in love, I know its getting out of hand myself, I have images of me and her at dates/wedding/sex/birth of baby/things couples do and could see us together. When I even sleep I put a pillow on my arm and pretend its her. I know there is a problem and I know I am in love but I feel something bad will happen.
I want to ask her out but again I cant due to shyness and of my weight size ( I want to loose all of it by July) but then it would be too late as she might be going to Uni.
Also when we walk together to work all we say is 'High' and shut-up for 25mins, she meets a friend then cant stop talking.
My mum and my grandparrents think their is somet going on

Former Member

ok about the job. why dont you try staying at the supermarket fulltime?
and consider becoming a tradesmen. house painting is pretty easy once trained up.
about the girl if u dont do something soon you will regret it, my bf just broke up with me but for 3 weeks i tried to fix things, but i know if i gave up 3 weeks ago i would always have that doubt in my mind if i did all i could. So i fought for him, but i lost and now it hurts more than before, its like my heart has broken twice, but the point is i wont regret not trying. So take a chance life is short and u only have one go at it