If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Friend or Boyfriend to be?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
There's a guy...let's call him Jimmy... Jimmy and I have known each other for just over two years now. Quick run down - we met via e-mail (he worked on a local radio station) then we met in person one day and he thought I was hot and I quite liked the look of him too. So we started a friendship via e-mail, txt and now and then I'd see him at radio events around town. At one event I sat with him and when he was to leave he told me he had a dilema...he wouldn't tell me what it was but a couple of weeks later I got it out of him that is was that he fancied me. So I told him I fancied him too, but he said he just wanted to keep it as mates and if anything happened it would happen.
For a couple of months I tried to make something happen...which in turn basically drove him away from me. We went through a bad 3 or 4 months where we hardly spoke to each other, then things got back on track again and a few months later he had got himself a girlfriend. So again things went bad for us as it felt like he was pushing me away or the gf had told him not to speak to me...anyway we basically stopped speaking to each other and he moved up north with his job and his gf moved up to be with him about 2 months after. This was about a year ago now.
About four months ago we started talking again on MSN and about a month after we started talking again we became good friends again and I apologised for treating him how I did and he apologised for being a prick to me too - from then on we got on extremely well - we had convos bout his relationship that seemed to be breaking up (something we never used to talk about). About a month later his r/ship did break up and apparantly his now ex-gf hated me cos he would confide in me bout their r/ship.
Anyway...he was back in town 2 weeks ago and we hung out three times together, did random stuff like we used to before he moved away. After hanging out twice I was txting him one night about a guy that was being a jerk to me and how I just wanted a guy that appreciated me and I was saying how I'd like to be with him (Jimmy)...but he kept saying he wasnt good enough for me. So at this point he knew how I felt about him, and had felt about him for two years.
The third time we hung out we went and played pool together. During our first game he was joking round with me cos I was playing real badly and he gave me a one-handed arm-round-my-shoulder kind of hug (first time he ever hugged me in two years) then took his shot, then came back over to me and put his hand on my back and said something like 'that's how it's done'. Then during the second game it was my shot and he was standing behind me and smacked my arse, which made me stand up and look at him - he said it was the pool cue - so I went to take my shot again...and he did it again. In the end he did it three times (of course I didn't mind).
He's gone back up north now but will be moving back here early next year for a job back on the local radio here. I really like him and at the moment he's the only guy I can see myself in a relationship with as I know I'd be happy with him. What I'm trying to figure out tho is what he did when we played pool any indication that he too wants a r/ship or was he just doing that cos he knew how I felt bout him? He still keeps saying he's not good enough for me and he says I'll find the right guy in time... Is he saying that cos he doesn't want me to be with him - or is he saying that so I'll like him more?
I don't want to ruin our friendship because it's the best it's ever been - we talka bout things we never used to talk about and we do stuff together thats lots of fun, even if it's just going for random drives at night. I don't want to lose him by making a move on him...but I also don't want to miss out on being with him. It hurts me to see him with someone else.
Help - what should I do? Make a move when he moves back home, or leave it as the great friendship it is? He's my best guy-mate and I don't wanna get hurt.
For a couple of months I tried to make something happen...which in turn basically drove him away from me. We went through a bad 3 or 4 months where we hardly spoke to each other, then things got back on track again and a few months later he had got himself a girlfriend. So again things went bad for us as it felt like he was pushing me away or the gf had told him not to speak to me...anyway we basically stopped speaking to each other and he moved up north with his job and his gf moved up to be with him about 2 months after. This was about a year ago now.
About four months ago we started talking again on MSN and about a month after we started talking again we became good friends again and I apologised for treating him how I did and he apologised for being a prick to me too - from then on we got on extremely well - we had convos bout his relationship that seemed to be breaking up (something we never used to talk about). About a month later his r/ship did break up and apparantly his now ex-gf hated me cos he would confide in me bout their r/ship.
Anyway...he was back in town 2 weeks ago and we hung out three times together, did random stuff like we used to before he moved away. After hanging out twice I was txting him one night about a guy that was being a jerk to me and how I just wanted a guy that appreciated me and I was saying how I'd like to be with him (Jimmy)...but he kept saying he wasnt good enough for me. So at this point he knew how I felt about him, and had felt about him for two years.
The third time we hung out we went and played pool together. During our first game he was joking round with me cos I was playing real badly and he gave me a one-handed arm-round-my-shoulder kind of hug (first time he ever hugged me in two years) then took his shot, then came back over to me and put his hand on my back and said something like 'that's how it's done'. Then during the second game it was my shot and he was standing behind me and smacked my arse, which made me stand up and look at him - he said it was the pool cue - so I went to take my shot again...and he did it again. In the end he did it three times (of course I didn't mind).
He's gone back up north now but will be moving back here early next year for a job back on the local radio here. I really like him and at the moment he's the only guy I can see myself in a relationship with as I know I'd be happy with him. What I'm trying to figure out tho is what he did when we played pool any indication that he too wants a r/ship or was he just doing that cos he knew how I felt bout him? He still keeps saying he's not good enough for me and he says I'll find the right guy in time... Is he saying that cos he doesn't want me to be with him - or is he saying that so I'll like him more?
I don't want to ruin our friendship because it's the best it's ever been - we talka bout things we never used to talk about and we do stuff together thats lots of fun, even if it's just going for random drives at night. I don't want to lose him by making a move on him...but I also don't want to miss out on being with him. It hurts me to see him with someone else.
Help - what should I do? Make a move when he moves back home, or leave it as the great friendship it is? He's my best guy-mate and I don't wanna get hurt.
0
Comments
Even if things don't happen between you, at least you have a good friend. Friendship is important.