If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Essential support for under 25s
Essential support for under 25s
Take a look around and enjoy reading the discussions. If you'd like to join in, it's really easy to register and then you'll be able to post. If you'd like to learn what this place is all about, head here.
Comments
Hi Schnook. My previous relationships have lasted no more than 3 weeks and have got nowhere at all so you could say this is my first actual succesful relationship so far. If i did explain to her that i feel inadequate and insecure i rekon she will be understanding. The thing is shes not one for discussion, i will go into a speech about how i feel and she will be like "well i love you and thats all that matters, i dont want anyone else. so what we doing 2moro?", she will just change subject.
...And dont worry Schnook, you will find someone one day and it will be the best feeling in the world. For now, try to enjoy being you. Thank you for your advice
I think its sometimes misread as being nasty, and I'm not.
That is a bit of a shite thing to do, but at the same time I think you are over-reacting somewhat.
When the wife is with her mates, who've known her since she was 12 or 13, they all have a laugh about exes- who was the cute one, who was the nobhead, and so on. It's just a giggle with them, and if he was a cute lad with a big cock its something else to giggle about. Just as lads will talk about an ex who was really fit and a right goer in bed, so will girls. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you, or thinks you inferior.
I sometimes giggle about girls I've been with before, saying they had a nice arse and lovely boobs, or whatever. It's just a laugh and a joke, although of course there is an element of bragging- people are proud of pulling stunners, even if they don't actually like them at all.
As you say, she says she loves you. He is the ex. You need to concentrate more on that, and less on the fact he was good looking and with a big cock.
If you've asked her to be more considerate (at least do it when you're not in the room), and she isn't being, then I think that's a bit off really. I don't think she's being a bitch, but she could be more considerate of you and your feelings.
That's fine. I don't really think it would be appropriate either.
If you know what it is that upsets you, then you are some of the way to stopping it being a problem.
I would also add that if the problem is that she was a bit of a player for a while, then I think you are being very silly for being upset by that. You've been together a while now, if she was going to play away she would have by now.
Do you know that, or suppose that?
If it is something that if causing you a lot of bother then you need to discuss it like adults. Relationships will not succeed unless the two partners are willing and able to communicate with each other openly and like adults. Don't be accusative and argumentative, say that you are upset by her bragging about her exes all the time, and you'd rather she did it when you weren't there. And broach the subject of what it is that is troubling you, and explain why it is troubling you.
You are over-reacting and being daft and silly, but if you don't talk about it with her it will cause problems.
Its not that she was a player its other things that i cant really say.
I know i should talk to her about it but its not the kinda subject thats easily approached or discussed. I dont want to upset her by turning it into a problem but i dont know how long i can go by trying to ignore it.
Fair play i guess.