How can you change who you are?

Former Member

I know that may sound a bit of a daft question, but with things like being possesive or jealousy or even getting in moods easily, how do you go about changing things which you don't like about yourself?

I know it can't be easy, and it is easier to look as though you don't mind whatever it is, but deep down its burning you up, what if you want to stop getting annoyed by things that cause those feelings?

Former Member

Make a concious effort to stop yourself or to try to change. It wont just change automatically. *You* have to do it. You have to put your mind to it, work on it. You could also try therapy as your actions could have some underlaying reasons.

Former Member

You have to focus on your actions that are the opposite to what you're trying to change. Like if you're jealous, you can't think thoughts like "I'm always so jealous, I hate myself for it and I'll never change". Removing the last part won't help either. If you experience something that does not cause these feelings you have to make it, in your mind, a really big deal. And the next time, and the next after that.

The trick is to spot it and I can promise you that it is very hard work. That's why you have to really want it.

I've done something similar with other aspects of my life and I know that eventually I am going to have to do this with jealousy and possessiveness. *le sigh* Staying away from the kind of relationships that provoke those feelings for now while I don't have time to sort myself out.

Former Member

I used to be a fairly jealous person. But now I've mellowed a bit, and I'm not really sure why. Could be I've just grown up a bit
I didn't really make a conscious effort to change, it has just gradually happened over the past few years.