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Should I go to the funeral...?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Basically my mum text me last night and told me my Uncle had died (my great uncle). He was a bit of a dodgy guy, had some dangerous friends and stuff and also talked a lot of crap to my family. He was what you consider the "black sheep". He really upset my dad a few times by slating his father.
Thing is my family are refusing to go, and they are almost the only family.
Because I'm a lot younger than them I only remember him as the nice man that used to call me "Wee Jimmy" and give me humbugs and buy me those cool Kinder Egg things (You know the animals with the see through tummys filled with the mini eggs with poseable arms!).
I really want to go to the funeral (if I can find out anything about it or even get there, I think it will be in Peterborough) but i'm scared I'll annoy my family.
They were all let down really badly by him in the past.
All I can think of was that this elderly man (in his 90's) died, alone in hospital and I hadn't even taken any notice of his existence for the last 15 or so years.
Should I go? Risking my family being annoyed at me (And then having to break to them i'm actually seeing the guy that they don't like who dumped me a few months ago and we're moving in together!!!!) or do I actually just be a flipping adult and go and say goodbye to someone who I only have fond memories of (even though when I was 3 I had bike stolen and even though he wasn't even around I accused him of stealing it....and my rocking horse lol)?
Thing is my family are refusing to go, and they are almost the only family.
Because I'm a lot younger than them I only remember him as the nice man that used to call me "Wee Jimmy" and give me humbugs and buy me those cool Kinder Egg things (You know the animals with the see through tummys filled with the mini eggs with poseable arms!).
I really want to go to the funeral (if I can find out anything about it or even get there, I think it will be in Peterborough) but i'm scared I'll annoy my family.
They were all let down really badly by him in the past.
All I can think of was that this elderly man (in his 90's) died, alone in hospital and I hadn't even taken any notice of his existence for the last 15 or so years.
Should I go? Risking my family being annoyed at me (And then having to break to them i'm actually seeing the guy that they don't like who dumped me a few months ago and we're moving in together!!!!) or do I actually just be a flipping adult and go and say goodbye to someone who I only have fond memories of (even though when I was 3 I had bike stolen and even though he wasn't even around I accused him of stealing it....and my rocking horse lol)?
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Comments
Not only do I think that you should go, so should your Dad. It was his brother after all.
I'd probably go but it's your decision, bearing in mind you have to live with the rest of your family and their reaction.
Maybe you could have a sensible discussion about it with your dad?
My dad *would* have gone but he lives in Bangkok so it's expensive and not really possible.
So...I'm off to Peterborough on Friday. I've now got to think of something to wear. I don't really want to wear black..
Thanks everybody for your advice.
I really feel for you. My granddad has disowned my mum for being gay. He's told her he doesn't want her at his funeral and I just don't know what I'd do in your situation now. If my mum's not his daughter anymore then how can I be his granddaughter?