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being hungry but not wanting to eat
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
I keep feeling really hungry, but really not fancying eating anything. I didnt eat today till about 4pm, and then i had 2 small slices of pizza and couldnt eat anymore - usually id have another slice, and something with it, and maybe a yoghurt after.
Now im really hungry again and ive had a slice of toast and honey, which I only ate as it was the only thing i could even vaguely feel like eating, but now im still hungry but i just dont fancy ANYTHING. Things just dont taste that great. They taste the same as ever, but im just not getting any pleasure from it, so would rather not bother.
The other thing is, I keep thinking, hey, I wonder if ill go below 8 stone.
I do go through bulimic phases sometimes, but its not been that bad lately. I did do it a few times a few weeks ago, but not at the moment.
This is a bit unusual for me, as ive always thought id make a really shit anorexic because i just love food, but i dont want to force myself to eat, because then i wont be able to see whether i can get under 8 stone.
Im not sure why im writing this really
Am i fucked up?
Now im really hungry again and ive had a slice of toast and honey, which I only ate as it was the only thing i could even vaguely feel like eating, but now im still hungry but i just dont fancy ANYTHING. Things just dont taste that great. They taste the same as ever, but im just not getting any pleasure from it, so would rather not bother.
The other thing is, I keep thinking, hey, I wonder if ill go below 8 stone.
I do go through bulimic phases sometimes, but its not been that bad lately. I did do it a few times a few weeks ago, but not at the moment.
This is a bit unusual for me, as ive always thought id make a really shit anorexic because i just love food, but i dont want to force myself to eat, because then i wont be able to see whether i can get under 8 stone.
Im not sure why im writing this really
Am i fucked up?
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
0
Comments
thing is, i think i look abit thinner, but i don't really weigh any less
the last 3 days I just havent eaten much. I am still eating a bit, but its fuck all really.
if it is would you eat something if it was the thing you want?
if you wouldn't, are you using 'don't fancy anything' as an excuse not to eat anything?
I am sort of half worried because I recognise the `oooh maybe i can get below 8 stone` feeling all too well.
The lack of appetite is real, but im still feeling hungry.
Itd be easier if i wasnt getting pangs.
Im probably silly to write this, but its a bit late now.
I think i am just a bit fucked up. I just cant seem to go without this ED for more than a few months, and the stupid thing is, even when im eating loads, my weight never seems to fluctuate more than a few pounds so im not even sure what its all about.
its been a year today since i was ditched and i'm still not over it
Adults tend to be more pragmatic about things.
Ive never felt as free.
I dont think my ed has come back, but its like it always sits on my shoulder a bit, just waiting in the wings.
Im not very good at controlling my eating actually. as i said, id be a shit anorexic, but it just worries me a little, that i still get excited at the thought of losing weight, when according to my BMI im already underweight.
I dont think my ED will ever take over my life again, but I wonder does anyone ever really totally get over it, or is it something im always going to be prone to now and again.
I just weighed myself and it said 7st 10. I just got this feeling like woohoo, ive beaten my challenge.
i think even if you do get over it it still hovers somewhere in the background.
i'm what they call recovered. i'm pretty skinny at the mo, not through my own doing, and although i do want to get back to my normal weight and i do eat loads (of shit) there is a part of me that fears getting bigger again. and there is a part of me that thinks i could still use a few pounds off here and there. i'm able to ignore it (and i am ignoring it) but it is still there.
and it's puzzling to me why i would want to be skinny. i don't look better. i don't feel better. i have been told by pretty much everyone that i am way less attractive this way. no one's impressed by it at all, and i just don't get why i am. just a little bit.
everyone has their demons, i guess. the trick is to make yourself control them.
If i see myself in photos, I feel surprised by how skinny I look, because I dont think i look that skinny in real life, and i start getting panicky if i go too far over 8 stone even though i know I look better, and less gaunt if im a bit more than that.
Im 5'6 and about 8 1/2 st too
Ive been very aware of how much junk i eat but it didnt bother me too much. Until the other day. Something just clicked and now im hell bent on restricting what i eat. Im crap at knowing how many calories are in what but i estimated about 1200cals a day ive been eating.
Feel that i deserve the punishment and am conforted by the control i feel i have over it. But im such a failure i cant even do that right. Today i ate a beef salad sandwich and a danish pastry. Ive been busy in work all day then had to go see my bf in hospital. Was really pleased and didnt want to eat anything else. But was hungry so ate a steak pie. then a chocolate eclair(got them free from work so they were sitting around near me). Im so f**king annoyed at myself. Really wish I had eaten either of them 2.
I know this isnt a healthy thought pattern, but i dont think theres much that can be done. Ive been having therapy for over a year for something else so i suppose itll just be something else wrong with me that doesnt seem to be helped.