Why does she lie?

Former Member

I think my best mate is a liar, user and she certainly lets me down!

We have been friends for quite some time however I have always wondered about whether or not she tells the truth or is being fully honest with me.

She is a fab friend we get on really really well, however she has been known to exagerate things or to completely make them up.

The other night I had a phone call at 4 in the morning - she left a voicemail saying I need you quick I am coughing up blood, i think i am going to die as a first aider you are my only hope please help, knowing her from the past she sounded drunk so i left it i had work very early the next morning.

anyway next day i was slightly concerned about her so text to ask if she was ok and that in future if she really needed help it was best to call for an ambulance or get her sister to help as i had work and could not get there.

anyway got a text back saying that she was drunk lost her phone and it was not her who rang me (i know however that it was)

before she really relied on me to go out with her now she has another mate and they go out every night, which while i do not mind she is starting to lie a lot more saying i cant go out am ill, or babysitting, or have college and know she is lying.

we booked a holiday to brussels today she told me she cannot go as she is going to bournemouth for that weekend and just remembered.

I am not sure i can be bothered with the lies, the using or her letting me down but i certainly do not want to lose a good friend!

Former Member

Can you be friends with someone you do not trust? Can you be friends with a person whom you doubt what they are saying is accurate and truthful? I think you know the answers to both these questions already.

Former Member

By the sound if it, you wouldn't be losing a good friend if you kicked her out of your life.

Former Member

stargalaxy wrote:

Can you be friends with someone you do not trust? Can you be friends with a person whom you doubt what they are saying is accurate and truthful? I think you know the answers to both these questions already.

To be quite honest i struggle to make friends she is one of the only decent mates i have

the only issues are her lying but like you say i maybe am better off without this

she really let me down with the holiday and I am not sure i can trust that!

its a shame really

Dr Pirate

People lie because they can, and usually because they think they'll get away with it.

Former Member

I was in this situation a couple of years ago with my old best mate, loved her to pieces but she got a very possessive new mate who didn't like me, and started being weak and so i never got to see her and she was always with this new mate. the best advice i can give is to let her go. at some point she will realise what she lost, and whilst you'll never quite have the same relationship again you can still have the good old times every once in a while. i've also now got a hell of a load of newer better mates that don't use me.

Former Member

I use you but only cos you like it ;]

Former Member

Friendships change gradually over time. A some points they seem really weak and others strong. My oldest friend and i live in completely different worlds most of the time these days. We have gone different directions and spend less time together. However, we still meet up every now and again. You could just cut down the amount you see her. Some people just fling friends out of their lives or dont talk to them for a few years. I guess im just not one of those types. You could get rid of her, but i reckon you should just try seeing her less. At least to begin with. You will find there are other people who bring more to your life.

Former Member

*DEVIL* wrote:

I am not sure i can be bothered with the lies, the using or her letting me down but i certainly do not want to lose a good friend!

I don't think she is a good friend. I don't think you shoudl cut her out of your life completely but just take a step back now you can see her for who she really is. I had a "best friend" who was a complete pathological liar/exaggerater with absolutely no reason to be, and with that lack of morality I had to cut her out of my life as I felt that there would come a time when she would utterly betray me and I could not risk that

Former Member

Dr Pirate wrote:

People lie because they can, and usually because they think they'll get away with it.

Very true. And some people do it for attention, don't they?

Indrid Cold

She sounds a bit like someone I used to know... I think I'll agree with Leese, although trust is important in a friendship and you clearly shouldn't have it for her, don't just stop talking to her. Try not to include her as much as now in what you do etc.