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what to do???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I am a 23 year old male and I just dont know what to do!
I cant work out if I am depressed or not...I just feel in a complete mess! I currently live at home with parent and have quite a good job! However this week so far and on a few occasions this year I have not turned into work! I just wake up and feel I cant be bothered anymore with life in general. I have issues with myself....money problems just to mention one...I feel I have that many issues I just dont know where to start! I really want to return to work tomorrow because I dont want to lose my job...but I just dont want to go and I am scared of my works reaction as I am yet again off sick. Where do I start with my problems and what do I do....my parent cant help as I have tried before and she just dont understand...what can I do???

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    firsatly: if you are in real financial trouble... talk to CAB.
    having shit days is pretty normal tbh when you cannot be arsed with life. problems arise when that feeling is pretty much all the time. - is that how you feel? or has it been on just "a few occassions this year"?
    secondly: you need to see your gp about how you are feeling. from what you have said it sounds like depression. but only he wilol be able to make a diagnosis. and may be even provide a medical note for work?!and he'll probably give you some pills to help you feel better in yourself.
    also, do try (as hard as it may be) to go into work... you'll feel undoubtably worse if you loose your job ontop of all your other problems, and work might provide a distraction to your feelings esp. since you say you have a "good job" - do you enjoy the time generally that you spend working?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    otter wrote:
    firsatly: if you are in real financial trouble... talk to CAB.
    having shit days is pretty normal tbh when you cannot be arsed with life. problems arise when that feeling is pretty much all the time. - is that how you feel? or has it been on just "a few occassions this year"?
    secondly: you need to see your gp about how you are feeling. from what you have said it sounds like depression. but only he wilol be able to make a diagnosis. and may be even provide a medical note for work?!and he'll probably give you some pills to help you feel better in yourself.
    also, do try (as hard as it may be) to go into work... you'll feel undoubtably worse if you loose your job ontop of all your other problems, and work might provide a distraction to your feelings esp. since you say you have a "good job" - do you enjoy the time generally that you spend working?

    thanks for replying. yeah I thought about CAB but to be honest I dont know if my debt is considered to be really bad(about 9k in debt) though have got my car worth 6k.
    Just lately I seem to feel bad all the time. That is mentally and phsically! I just seem like I cant be bothered anymore mentally and my body feels awful phsically.
    I am determined and almost certain I am going into work tomorrow as I dont want to loose my job, however I wouldnt say I actually enjoy it. As for my GP well I have been up there on a few occasions already this year. People who read this may or may not laugh but here are just a few issues with myself.

    1) money problems
    2) STDs!
    3) Personal appearance
    4) Work
    5) relationship(s)

    things just seem to be in a mess and I dont know what to deal with first.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sonywebster wrote:
    1) money problems
    2) STDs!
    3) Personal appearance
    4) Work
    5) relationship(s)

    things just seem to be in a mess and I dont know what to deal with first.....

    is a lot of that about self esteem then do you think? - is there anyone you know either in your personal life, at work, or elsewhere who you can talk to about whats going on with you atm? - if not, you could always try asking your gp about the possibility of some short term counselling.

    i think the most important issue, but correct me if you think i'm wrong, is your physical health. an easy way of trying to sort out your problem with std's is to take a trip down your local gum clinic... one of which will be at your local hospital... they should be able to provide you with free treatment, and get you sorted out... all you need to do is make an appointment and turn up, the rest should take care of itself. - is this where the problem with "relationships" comes in, or is it more to do with self image?

    if work is such a problem for you at the moment, try talking to your boss. go your doctors and see if you can get a medical note for your mental health. that will give you a bit of justifyed time off. in that time... think about what you want to do... for example could you think about working elsewhere? and get earn some more money?

    thing with most problems is, they often have knack of building up into something that seems overwhemling to deal with. but you know what your problems are... you've stated them above. so the key is to try and deal with each one in turn... bit... by bit... by bit. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    otter wrote:
    is a lot of that about self esteem then do you think? - is there anyone you know either in your personal life, at work, or elsewhere who you can talk to about whats going on with you atm? - if not, you could always try asking your gp about the possibility of some short term counselling.

    i think the most important issue, but correct me if you think i'm wrong, is your physical health. an easy way of trying to sort out your problem with std's is to take a trip down your local gum clinic... one of which will be at your local hospital... they should be able to provide you with free treatment, and get you sorted out... all you need to do is make an appointment and turn up, the rest should take care of itself. - is this where the problem with "relationships" comes in, or is it more to do with self image?

    if work is such a problem for you at the moment, try talking to your boss. go your doctors and see if you can get a medical note for your mental health. that will give you a bit of justifyed time off. in that time... think about what you want to do... for example could you think about working elsewhere? and get earn some more money?

    thing with most problems is, they often have knack of building up into something that seems overwhemling to deal with. but you know what your problems are... you've stated them above. so the key is to try and deal with each one in turn... bit... by bit... by bit. :)

    again thanks for replying. Unfotunately for me there is no one I can talk too really. I spose the only hope I have is my gp..and maybe some short time counselling.

    totally agree about my phsical health, despite being 23 I am scared and concerned about what the clinic may think. I do want to sort things out but for some strange reason something is holding me back!!!???

    As for relationship...well that is due to a particular relationship...I have been hooked on this same person for three years who did nothing but mess me about. I recently decided enough was enough and changed my numbers etc and cut off. The thing is I cant stop thinking about it and her and I feel mentally scarred.

    I thought about having a word with my boss but yet again I am scared and concerned that he may not understand.....I feel my main problem is that every day I do nothing but think think think......23 years old...should I be like this?

    again thanks for replying.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sonywebster wrote:
    again thanks for replying. Unfotunately for me there is no one I can talk too really. I spose the only hope I have is my gp..and maybe some short time counselling.

    probably a good idea. but remember, counselling can only support you and help you understnd your feelings, whilst you sort yourself out.
    sonywebster wrote:
    totally agree about my phsical health, despite being 23 I am scared and concerned about what the clinic may think. I do want to sort things out but for some strange reason something is holding me back!!!???

    if it is only fear holding you back, think about this: they see people with sexual health issues and std's ALL THE TIME... they won't think bad of you at all... for them its all in a days work literally. but if you don't do something about it it might get worse... and how will you feel then?!
    sonywebster wrote:
    As for relationship...well that is due to a particular relationship...I have been hooked on this same person for three years who did nothing but mess me about. I recently decided enough was enough and changed my numbers etc and cut off. The thing is I cant stop thinking about it and her and I feel mentally scarred.

    at the end of the day only you can control what you think about or don't think about... you probably just need a good distraction. i mean, would you say you are obsessed with her? or not?
    sonywebster wrote:
    I thought about having a word with my boss but yet again I am scared and concerned that he may not understand.....I feel my main problem is that every day I do nothing but think think think......23 years old...should I be like this?

    if you can get a gp note then there is nothing really for your boss to "understand", he will have to accept it. it sounds as though you let fear run your life from what you have said in your posts. you need to get a grip on it. and honestly, the ONLY way to do that is to do the thing you are scared shitless of.. as soon as you've done it you won't be scared of it anymore!

    nobody can solve your problems for you. and you are in control of your own head, and of what you do..... but if you do nothing, nothing will change... and you'll continue to feel totally like shit... until you do manage to do something.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    one thing at a time.

    if you keep overwhelming yourself with everything you need to sort out, you'll get down about it and then not be able to find a place to start.

    Prioritise what you need to do, and take each thing one at a time. One you've done that, itll give you a bit of a boost and a bit more strength mentally to do the next thing.
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