What to do against jealousy?

Former Member

Hi,

I'm with my girlfriend for 2 months now and we get along quite well and I've never been the jealous type of guy.
But since we got together and since she told me some stories from her past (we're both 21, her stories are from when she was around 18) I'm getting jealous and sometimes even mad (at myself though) when I think about those things she did. I mean she never cheated on any of her past boyfriends (at least she tells me so) but I know that she flirts and dances (and when she was 18, even slept) with guys for self-esteem.
The thing is that she moved to Maastricht (Netherlands, about 200km away from where I live, so not a big deal) a week ago to study abroad for one term. Of course she's meeting new people there and is kept busy and I'm stuck here being bored and worrying too much.

The problem is that I'm getting more mad at the things she did way back then (sleeping with radom guys just to brag about it in front of her "friends") than at the things she tells me from Maastricht (dancing with guys).

Now since I never (ever!) was jealous before (since with my past girlfriends I was 100% sure that I didn't need to be for some reason ) I don't know how to handle this. I mean I'm sure that there's no reason to be jealous or mad about with my present girlfriend but I just am

Hope you can help me here.

- Felix

Former Member

Theres always some jealousy in relationships, its just a part of it.

Former Member

i dont see why you're so jealous, didnt you do things like that when you were younger?? Trust is important in a relationship, and she's with u, so dont worry!

Former Member

Yes, that's the problem... I don't see where it's coming from either, especially since I'm absolutely certain that I can trust her. But still, even when I tell myself to get a grip, there are these feelings whenever she tells me that she met new guys and went dancing with them (plus those about her past... I actually have been quite tame during my teenage years).

Former Member

mmm :chin: still dont get it. its like girl interrupted said: "I for one can admit I am jealous of certain aspects of my boyfriend's past and I know for sure he is jealous of some of mine.", i dont get why! i mean, the past is the past+it doesnt matter - it doesnt affect your relationship now does it FLX?
Im sure this just means you care about your g.f+sorta maybe wish deep down that you're the only guy she's ever dont stuff with - whether it be dancing with, or sleeping with - but that may be only natural bcos u care for her so much!

Former Member

Yeah, that's probably right. I'll see how it goes on

Former Member

I sometimes get jealous of my boyfriend - tomorrow night he is going out with his ex girlfriend - i know he really liked her she dumped him - my boyf has dumped me in the past i worry about what could happen, whereas on the other hand if i talk to a boy he i sthen known as my 'lover' or if i talk about a male he asks lots of questions, there are mny double standards in our relationship