bottomdraw in your relationship+moving in with your partner

Former Member

ok, so "bottomdrawering" is when you start buying stuff for a house together with your partner, bcos you know you want to live together (called this bcos you put stuff you were collecting for your future house, in your bottom drawer, in the past!)
Me and my b.f have discussed this and know that when i finish uni in about a year and a half we will want to get a place together, so ive started getting bits and bobs+we've both begun saving for deposits, etc!!
What im wondering is has anybody else discussed living with their current partner? how long have you been together???
Also, to anybody who already lives with their partner, how was the moving in+house hunting process for you? and what makes you decide you'de like to live with that person

Former Member

We've discussed living together having been a couple for coming up two and a half years, however, we both know that we won't be in a suitable financial or career situation for at least the next two years since we both plan on going back to uni (most likely not the same one) for further study.

Former Member

sounds like me ginner - although i know that i soo want to do this, so im preparing now. sounds abit daft, i know, but i reckon il be grateful when i only have to buy big things+bills, and not buy cups, glasses, etc!!

Former Member

i won't lie. buying the house and moving in was the single most stressful thing we've ever been through together. and we'd already been living together (but not alone together) for two years.

i knew i wanted to live with him in the first place because we'd stayed over with each other lots previously and he was just so easy to live with.

and i'd had a bottom drawer since i was about 17, when my mum started getting me things in the bargain basements for me to take to uni.

Former Member

sugar_mouse wrote:

sounds like me ginner - although i know that i soo want to do this, so im preparing now. sounds abit daft, i know, but i reckon il be grateful when i only have to buy big things+bills, and not buy cups, glasses, etc!!

Well you'll want most of those things for living out at university anyway so it's not just a case of being freakishly overprepared. I personally haven't bought anything but that's because I know my girlfriend loves the idea of decorating a house, so I wouldn't want to deprive her, and I simply don't have the space. I'm a self confessed anti-horder.

Former Member

well ginner, i am freakishly over-prepared, as im at uni, but living at home!! i think il enjoy decorating more than my guy+also, im buying things that dont really matter (teat towels, etc).
ive got the space aswell!

Kaffrin - im expecting the stress. my mates have just bought their own house+have said the same thing!! Spose you've gotta work for the things you really want though!

Former Member

Didn't I make a thread about this a couple of weeks ago?

I can't move in with my bf for about 18months-2years, but we're gonna start saving for a house now. Turns out we don't have to save that much cos his Mum and Dad have said they'll pay the deposit on a house for us - wahey! Much as my parents will pay for the wedding (years away yet tho!), they'll pay for the house deposit

Former Member

I've got to say I would never do something like that..I feel like it's tempting fate, and I don't like to buy things to clutter up my house.

That's what a wedding list is for

Former Member

PussyKatty wrote:

That's what a wedding list is for

Is it wrong to request financial gifts? I don't trust other peoples' taste.

Former Member

You don't have to trust their taste, you choose what you want and they have to buy you that one. You get a store wedding list from Next or M+S..or primark or poundland

Former Member

PussyKatty wrote:

You don't have to trust their taste, you choose what you want and they have to buy you that one. You get a store wedding list from Next or M+S..or primark or poundland

But we don't have a house to put things in, that's where money would be useful.

Former Member

Are you getting married?

Former Member

PussyKatty wrote:

Are you getting married?

Not as of yet no. We will do, when we have the money, I ask and she says yes.

Former Member

Well surely you wouldn't marry someone unless you planned to live with them afterwards, therefore your question about asking for money isn't really relevant. Although some people do ask for money.

Former Member

Some people ask for money - particularly if it's a second marriage or if they've lived together for years and have everything they need. Maybe if you had something big to spend the money towards - like if you bought a wreck of a house and were going to refurbish it, or perhaps if you wanted to go on a round-the-world trip (anyone read "Shopaholic Gets Married"? ).

Former Member

Me and my boyfriend are thinking of moving in with each other within the next 2 years. I want to get settled in my career andpay off my car loan, credit cards and overdrafts first. We have opened an ISA together and are putting money in every month to use for rent or for things to buy.

Former Member

Bottomdrawing - I started collecting when i was about 14 - i think i'm probably quite weird and domesticated like that - well i'm really interested in buying anything that relates to food anyway. I'd been at university for 3 years before i moved in with my boyfreind but we still had a fun shopping expedition to the sava centre to buy things like more knives and forks, and teaspoons (you need far more than you think), and washing up bowls.

Moving in together - buying a house was the most terrifying commitment i'd ever made far scaryer than getting married - maybe because it involved vast sums of money or possibly because we basically were buying a shack for vast sums of money and there was the worry that we wouldn't be able to do it up in time or it might fall down or something. However pratical point on the money front - you dont' just need money for the deposit - you also have to pay stamp duty and solicitors fees - both of which cant' be added onto your mortgage.

Wedding lists - Are very useful and most people expect them (or so my mother insisted when I said i didnt' want one). Anyway we had one at John Lewis (which was litterally wedgewood plates and nothing else) - but we also asked for Laura Ashely vouchers because we had everything we needed for the house except furniture - we used the money to buy a wardrobe for our bedroom which was needed.

littlemissy

Re wedding lists, we didn't have a list. We requested vouchers and money from people, and that is what we got. We have our own house and a lot of the things that people would buy for a wedding on it. We have a gazillion towels and got even more when we married.

We put all the money together and bought things that we needed, like a bed. We have lots of vouchers left over and some pennies too, which will be saved for a rainy day

In answer to the original question, the sorts of things you are "bottomdrawering" (what a funky phrase!) are things that will be useful anyway. Glasses, cups, crockery etc will be used while at uni and the likes. And saving up is always a good idea too

Former Member

We have discussed living together but this is not yet to happen for a couple of year + yet, we have been together nearlly 9 months.

Former Member

we have just bought our first home together, get the keys at the end of next week, we didnt start our bottom drawer until our offer was accepted on the house, we're not that organised!
as someone said its stressful, much more so than i imagined! i always had lovely thoughts of us viewing houses and finding the perfect one and our offer would be accepted straight away and we'd skip hand in hand up the garden path big mistake! but everything is sorted now and we're pretty much organised for getting the keys and decorating etc. we're rather excited now!