love me - i appologise for the way i feel

Former Member

I am hoping for some advice becuase my mind is making things more and more complicated as the weeks/months pass... i've always been a farely shy person, (though this has improved over the past year) and i never feel able to talk about sexual things infront of a group of people, especially people i barely know.

This is becuase i feel uncomfortable about it, and would most likely try to shy away. I feel i have to tread very careful talking to large groups of people for being watched, and i feel really forced at times... half of this is about building confidence, and excercising my sexuality. Im 20 and have never had a relationship, im a guy btw. Im quite good looking, but im too quiet. I have experienced feelings of love, very strong feelings of love infact for a guy, we used to hang out now and then, but ever since a drunken event wathing a movie last nov one night, and him now having a girlfriend. And he now almost completely ignores me, whether he is infact Bi or not im not sure. But even if he is, he has a g/f now, but he won't even be friends by the looks of things.. Fair enough he's popular, but it's like im 100 on the list..

I might just be gay im not really sure, ever since the drunken event i guess my mind has been thinking for months that gay got me somewhere.. But i did like girls in the past, during school i would be like "ill speak to her tomorrow" but i was always too shy, or i think thats what it was, maybe i wasnt sure, or just sex crazed.. i have kissed a few girls some i didn't really want to, and one who was such a bad kisser it was ranky.. but there has been one who i thought the next day i did well there, and i remember she said "you'll regret that in the morning", and i still don't know what she means by that... infact i couldn't rememeber her name the next morning...

This is just a mess and i do you not agree it needs sorting, some words of thought please..

Former Member

Yeah it needs some sorting out lol.

Why not decide who you'd want to be with first. Either the guy or your current gf. And maybe before you make this decision, you oughta think if he likes you or at least that she does. I mean, not a good move to go and say to the guy that you want to go back as it was if he has absolutely no feelings for you. Vice versa for the f/m.

And if you're gay or not, I simply can't answer, only you can.

Former Member

thanx i found that helpful, i need to chill out a bit more. But you have read some details wrong, i wasn't in a relationship with him; and neither with a girl. I've never had a "relationship"...

Former Member

I think your best bet is to forget about the past and look to the future. Take things as they come, if you feel unconfident don't overthink it, everybody is self conscious when meeting new people but it fades as you get to know eachother better. Same for partners, there will always be tension/awkwardness at times but the self consciousness will fade over time. The thing to remember is, when you feel like that in a situation you can be almost certain that the other person(s) is/are feeling similar.

Just try not to overthink things and go with the flow!