Dating a single mother...

Former Member

does anyone here have experience with dating a single mother? is it different? is it hard work? are you expected to spend time with the child?

i have no previous experience of this and not likely to occur very soon but i was just wondering as its something me and my friends have discussed before.

Former Member

I don't, but when my mum was dating, she only introduced partners to me if the relationship was becomming serious. I met 3 of her partners over a period of 11 years, and one of them became her husband.

My mum told me, the guys she dated were actually really keen to meet me, not the other way round, but she always stuck to her guns and wouldn't introduce them unless they had discussed the relationship etc. None of the guys she dated saw me as a 'daughter' figure and my mum was very upfront about the fact that they were not there to play daddy - I had a father, only he had died. She said a couple of the guys she started seeing wanted to be the 'hero' and play the father figure and be one happy family. Their intentions were good, but she was quite concerned about how I'd be affected, so didn't introduce them in case it got to intense and it went tits up.

When I did meet them, I must have been about 9 - 10 years old with Steve. We all had drinks in the living room (hot chocolate for me ) and chatted. He would visit about 3 - 4 times a week. Never stayed over though (while I was there, anyway), my mama was quite strict about overnight guests while I was in the house! Most of the time when he did visit, we'd have dinner, or if we were spending the day together, we'd go out for lunch etc, it was very easy going.

So yeah, it depends a lot on the circumstances.

Former Member

You could pm Stargalaxy, I think he posted here about dating a single mother once.

Former Member

I dunno if I'd date a single mother, wold be too worried about the kids walking in on us gettin' it on.

Former Member

When we were about 19 one of my friends was dating a girl who was a single mother - she was about 17 and her baby was about a year old (actually she went out with about 3 of my friends but thats another story) anyway - because she had had the baby so young and she still lived with her parents - they pretty much bought up the baby for her so its not your classic single mother situation because she could still go out like most of us.

Anyway I think it freaked him out loads the baby stuff to the point where he lost all interest in sex - which in turn really ruined the relationship - but you know hearing a baby crying in the next room when your trying to get it on probably isn't the best foreplay.

Errr don't let it put you off though.

xxx

Former Member

i like to think that it wouldnt bother me personally, but i think it does, and thats not a nice thing to say.

Former Member

-[MoonRat]- wrote:

I dunno if I'd date a single mother, wold be too worried about the kids walking in on us gettin' it on.

That happened once with an ex , freaked me out, but my partner and her 14 year old child were very cool about it.

Former Member

i'd probably be one of these guys whos too keen to meet the children.

Former Member

this isn't anything against anyone here, but how come it always single mothers that are thought about? there are also single fathers out there.

Former Member

its mainly because im a straight male. single fathers dont do it for me really.

Former Member

-[MoonRat]- wrote:

I dunno if I'd date a single mother, wold be too worried about the kids walking in on us gettin' it on.

If that's the first thing that you worry about if you considered dating a single Mum then it would probably be best you steered way clear of such a relationship altogether

Former Member

scytherchick wrote:

You could pm Stargalaxy, I think he posted here about dating a single mother once.

Yes, that would have been me. I'm not completely sure what to say about this subject. As she was my first relationship, I don't understand at all about people being scared to date a single mum. You're not necessarily expected to spend time with her children, but you can't live in a bubble where you pretend they don't exist either. Personally, I met a mother and son who thought the world of each other, they were inseperable. Now, I love them both too! Despite the fact I'm not going out with her now, (long story) I still see her son every few days. There's nothing to fear as long as both sides are honest about this from day one.

-[MoonRat]- wrote:

I dunno if I'd date a single mother, wold be too worried about the kids walking in on us gettin' it on.

That's a risk I had to take. We've been caught having sex - it was embarrassing beyond belief.

Former Member

This thread made the front page - how exciting is that.

Former Member

very, ill ring my mother

Former Member

-[MoonRat]- wrote:

I dunno if I'd date a single mother, wold be too worried about the kids walking in on us gettin' it on.

Would that be a single, lesbian mother then ... ?