I'm losing my best friend.

Former Member

My best mate just text me to say she's got a job in Scotland, so in 4 weeks she's moving there with her bf. She's been with him for a while and they moved in together for a few months, but there was violence (from her and him), jelousey and arguments, they split up for a while but then got together again. Since then she's only seen him a few times a week. When i see her she tells me things, that she's going because he wants to, that she thinks she might be a lesbian, that she doesn't feel loved by him etc.. She's got the job now, he hasn't found one (yet) and they haven't got a house. In four weeks they will be (somehow) living in Scotland, she will have no friends or family there and if he doesn't get a job they will be living in relative poverty, as hers is a low paid job. I don't want her to go, i know she won't be happy there, but i have to put on a front and say i am. I don't know what to do! The bestest friend i have ever had is leaving the country with a man i hate, to live in a city where they know no one. What if she stays there? What if i never get her back? :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:

Former Member

I think you should tell her how you feel before it's too late. If her new life in Scotland is going to be as bad as you make it out to be then perhaps you should suggest to her the negative points of moving there, and say that you're not saying it just because you want her to stay, but you honestly think it would be in her best interest to stay where she is. Good luck with you problem :yes:

Former Member

i know how your feeling on this because my best mate is moving to the states in january with her husband ,to cut a long story short she has a lot of health problems and he is a violent man i'm trying to be the good friend by saying it will be really good and that but deep down i know she'll hate it but dont want to come across as the selfish one by saying please dont go.I have and do keep telling her i'll always be here for her if she needs me and we'll always be friends but that niggling doubt is still there of wheter i should say dont go :banghead: :no:

Former Member

best you can do is really emphasise how you will be there for her no matter what happens and that she can rely on you for anything should it all go tits up. If its what she wants, whether its right or wrong she has to learn for herself. make it clear to her how much you value her and make the most of her being there for now. she may recognise for herself it isn't ideal, but if she doesn't, knowing she has got someone to turn to will help.