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Too Expensive?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, I'm new to the whole sharing feeling things, so please bare with me. 
This might be a rather longwinded pointless post, but hopefully someone will understand and offer some advice 
.
I'm 17, and last year I had two girlfriends. They were both brilliant people and I sometimes regret not trying harder, but I have a slight problem when it comes to relationships, well a few problems.
I'm incredibly shy when I first meet someone, so much so that I either look like an arrogant fool because I don't talk, or I act like a stuttering fool because I can't the words I want to say out. Obviously, this has a slight affect on trying to find the perfect woman lol. Along with this, I'm nervous about my body, I'm 5foot8 and 11stone. People keep telling me "this is your ideal weight", but I just don't feel comfortable. I've tried gyms, long bike rides, football nearly everyday, nothing seems to work, perhaps this is the reason for me being shy.
Not only do I have the shyness problem, but once I actually manage to find someone that doesn't laugh at me, I don't know what to do after that. My parents have a car, but I'm not close to them and don't usually feel like asking them for a ride to a friends house, so I have to bike, both the ex's lived over 2 miles away, so it was a long bike ride there, by the time I got there I was sweating like crazy and that isn't too sexy. Luckily, I'm learning to drive (Thank god).
I also feel that when I'm with someone, I should pay for everything, buy them everything they want and stuff like that, unfortunatly, I have no job (I tried getting one, but I don't wanna work in McDonalds or on the tils at Tesco. I know maybe I'm being to fussy, but I wanna work somewhere that will actually be doing the same thing as I hope to do in the future C++ programming or computer assembly), so I usually end up not going out due to not wanting to have to make the lady spend her money, this seems to make them think I just don't like them.
Next up is my mother. She's over protective. I took one girlfriend back to her, and I never want to inflict another girl with the same sort of terror again. So naturally, I can't take her back to my room to watch a film, because my mum will want to talk to her first, I can't go to theirs because of the biking problem above, can't meet in the town, because I feel like I need to spend money on her.
On top of all this, I finally decided, perhaps the easiest way for me to meet someone would be the internet. At first it was just a joke, just messing around with people. (No cybering or anything like that). Recently, sadly enough, I began having feelings for one of the people I joke around with. I dunno if she feels the same, and to be honest, I don't think I want to know. She lives about 5 hours away from me, which is obviously gonna be more expensive than a two mile bike ride
Almost forgot, I'm not the best partier. I'm too self-concious and I don't drink most of the time. I'll drink a bit, but I tend to get violent when drunk, so I try not to drink at all. So most of the girls my age want to go partying, so thats kind of another point where they get annoyed at me.
Is it too much to ask for me to find a nice girl, who doesn't want to go out and get leathered at clubs every night, doesn't make me feel nervous and pretty much everything else from the above?
Anyway, thats enough sharing (plus my wrist is starting to hurt... No dirty comments
)
This might be a rather longwinded pointless post, but hopefully someone will understand and offer some advice .I'm 17, and last year I had two girlfriends. They were both brilliant people and I sometimes regret not trying harder, but I have a slight problem when it comes to relationships, well a few problems.
I'm incredibly shy when I first meet someone, so much so that I either look like an arrogant fool because I don't talk, or I act like a stuttering fool because I can't the words I want to say out. Obviously, this has a slight affect on trying to find the perfect woman lol. Along with this, I'm nervous about my body, I'm 5foot8 and 11stone. People keep telling me "this is your ideal weight", but I just don't feel comfortable. I've tried gyms, long bike rides, football nearly everyday, nothing seems to work, perhaps this is the reason for me being shy.
Not only do I have the shyness problem, but once I actually manage to find someone that doesn't laugh at me, I don't know what to do after that. My parents have a car, but I'm not close to them and don't usually feel like asking them for a ride to a friends house, so I have to bike, both the ex's lived over 2 miles away, so it was a long bike ride there, by the time I got there I was sweating like crazy and that isn't too sexy
. Luckily, I'm learning to drive (Thank god).I also feel that when I'm with someone, I should pay for everything, buy them everything they want and stuff like that, unfortunatly, I have no job (I tried getting one, but I don't wanna work in McDonalds or on the tils at Tesco. I know maybe I'm being to fussy, but I wanna work somewhere that will actually be doing the same thing as I hope to do in the future C++ programming or computer assembly), so I usually end up not going out due to not wanting to have to make the lady spend her money, this seems to make them think I just don't like them.
Next up is my mother. She's over protective. I took one girlfriend back to her, and I never want to inflict another girl with the same sort of terror again. So naturally, I can't take her back to my room to watch a film, because my mum will want to talk to her first, I can't go to theirs because of the biking problem above, can't meet in the town, because I feel like I need to spend money on her.
On top of all this, I finally decided, perhaps the easiest way for me to meet someone would be the internet. At first it was just a joke, just messing around with people. (No cybering or anything like that). Recently, sadly enough, I began having feelings for one of the people I joke around with. I dunno if she feels the same, and to be honest, I don't think I want to know. She lives about 5 hours away from me, which is obviously gonna be more expensive than a two mile bike ride
Almost forgot, I'm not the best partier. I'm too self-concious and I don't drink most of the time. I'll drink a bit, but I tend to get violent when drunk, so I try not to drink at all. So most of the girls my age want to go partying, so thats kind of another point where they get annoyed at me.
Is it too much to ask for me to find a nice girl, who doesn't want to go out and get leathered at clubs every night, doesn't make me feel nervous and pretty much everything else from the above?
Anyway, thats enough sharing (plus my wrist is starting to hurt... No dirty comments
) 0
Comments
As for the violent drunk thing, you dont sound like your that experienced as a drinker anyway, but things like a temper when you drink arent impossible to overcome. I used to be a vile drunk, but you learn to recognise the signs. When you start to feel yourself gettin a bit drunker/angrier/moodier/whatever, hit the water/soft drinks for a few rounds, even yourself out and then if you wanna carry on. It can be done. Nothings absolute.
Your over thinkin this bud. Chill......you dont have to bike to their houses, get a bus, your parents dont have to like them, go to their house, you dont have to pay for everything they desire, theres gentlemanly behaviour, but this is the modern world, women can pay for things sometimes too.lol. And anywoman,who would let you spend all your money on presents, gifts, treats, whatever they asked for, sounds a little bit of a bitch dont you think?.
Like i said, nothing is insurmountable if you just stop worrying so much. Worrying isnt much of an attractive quality either you know. hehe. Just be yourself, chill out, things will be fine.